Loving Kindness & (gulp) my body

The most miraculous thing just happened. I have been beating myself up because I seem to have hit this middle age slump where eating completely clean and exercising more than I have in my life isn’t budging the areas I want to budge. They, to my dismay, seem to be going the opposite of my intention. My first and historical answer was to hit up google and scour books. To research the hell out of my issue. “Weight loss after 40″, ” How to get rid of your belly”, My mind was racing with all of the information and I could feel myself starting to inwardly obsess about my new mission. I was ready to purchase the “pretty intense” workout plan and take all of my left over energy after working 10 hour days, attending school and being a mom, friend and Nana and apply it to obsessing about my stomach and thighs. The inner insanity going on was an old familiar feeling. One of panic and loss of control but gripping to this delusion that I had it all under control. Divine intervention squeaked through the cracks and I stopped in my tracks. I remembered what I have been studying as of late. Metta. Loving kindness. Loving kindness to myself and others. This means to my soul, my mind, and yes, my body. Berating myself into being better has not once worked. Ever. Torturing myself and telling myself how much better I will be when I do anything has never worked. Embracing what is right now for what it is and treating it kindly & lovingly and then seeing who I can help, has worked every time. Phew.

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