My marriage made me what i should have developed earlier- Self love.

Being a sufferer for seven years in marriage,  i was blaming it too hard on another women. I was always jealous, hateful and insecure of her presence. When she exited and my husband found  another then i got the answer,  it was never her,  it was him.  Tell u,  this doesn’t mean i was ugly looking,  fat, dark or short women (it is not so important to mention it here)  but i look so beautiful and loyal that he had no reason of cheating on me.Still i couldn’t make him find me attractive anymore. He got along with many on his way and what i got out of it was only humiliation and abuse. I somewhere felt it wasn’t him who did all that betrayal to me,  it was my own self.  I was somewhere not loving myself enough to take myself out of it. I started thinking i was dumb and physically not attractive as he always complained of my small boobs and opened vagina. I started believing on whatever he thought of me and slowly quiting my beliefs and accepting his beliefs for me. There was no one to help me because no one knew. I had started taking all of his physical,  mental and emotional abuse quite comfortably. As or when i got easy on him and started accepting what he was doing on me and still being happy in my own self ( i was always one happy girl). God gave me more reasons to be happy. He made me met those people/books to discover Self love. He gave me this message again and again through books to love myself enough to not believe in what other might think of you. Things were changing since then and i was getting all the lost confidence back in myself. I was no more blaming my dumbness and body, or any other reason for him to not like me. There is lots of Power in Self love no matter how,  where or who you are,  you are not a reason of any form of abuse.

Comments