There is something about this face I wear. I have witnessed the age of these brown eyes and aristocrat features once before. It is familiar in a distant way, but I recognize the long delicate bold strokes of this visage from my past, and now my future. On my best days, I notice her in the mirror and the present becomes my refuge. At times, I do not remember acquiring the youthful wisdom you may hear in my voice. This knowledge was not acquired through research or found in literature, but the information was somehow planted. Like suicidal flowers, waiting to be plucked, ready to throw it all to the wind to be in my palms. Was it always there? Did I come with this knowledge? Swimming in the urges of my father, safely packed and delivered from the womb of my mother, the food was conveniently supplied. A nine month bond, already created with batteries included. Only activation required is love! I am the reaction of two opposite components that came together for the opportunity to love. Whether it was unconditional or not, I am here, as an advocate of love. The human body consist of 80% water, making it our natural source of hydration. Considering we are more than this physical body, the same force attracting opposites, would be the same vitality sustaining the divergence between body and soul.
Centuries preoccupied us with surviving the wrath of each other, we are not taught the art of self love. Confusing it with limerence, it is like a drug. A temporary rush of hormones we learn to chase. It is understandable why such a strong affection can become overwhelming to us. I have learned it is meant to be nurtured, developed over time. Without that luxury, it is our demise that brings us face to face with love. I am barely brave enough to sit still in silence, doing nothing, only to hear my own voice. Admitting that the tears molded the bottom of the well inside me, I am liberated by the healing waters, guided by the flow. I am led to an ocean of love, still waiting for it to end. This feeling I have uncovered for myself runs deeper than my 31 years of life. Accepting the strength of the God within me, along with the powers of this love, was the most difficult thing I have ever done, but has made me a true artist. Acknowledging that I am also this God, derived from a higher source of love, I have gained access to parts of myself I never knew existed.
These days, I feel like the driver of a talking car, breaking all the rules. I have moved into this secret compartment in my forehead. It is uncomfortably high and breezy. The tension is not enough, to reject the idea of spending eternity here. My scalp tingles and my headfeels stretched from above, like the coneheads from Easter Island. With so many contradictions to marvel over, I am reminded of the moments within every moment, losing all concept of time. There is an entire world inside myself. Accessing through this kaleidoscope of my senses, I become aware of my intended masterpiece. With this new fondness, comes a stubborn will to help avenge humanity, as the co-creators we truly are. This fierce tenderness proves my suspicion. I would take this painful journey over and over again, just to be right here. At your disposal, vulnerable and transparent enough to consider what we all really desire. By managing the thoughts that obscure the picture my feelings paint before me, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt. I chose this life! If I am being honest, deja vu is my reality. I knew the day would come when we realize everything happens for a reason, because we made sure of it.
Our free will allows us the endless advantage to go around and around on this sphere, to eventually love unconditionally. Like most, I can not see any other notion strong enough to keep bringing me back to a world so cold, so divided. It is also speculation in the growing mystery of the art left behind by the ancient civilization. Aliens are the prime suspects of the pyramids in Gaza and the underground cities like Derinkuyu in Turkey. The Teotihuacan Aztec city, with no fortification and The Peruvian Nasca Lines defies the laws of their creation. Until we add the influence of love, these living art structures are a brutal sacrifice of the human expression. I believe their imprint on this earth is the breadcrumbs for our tomorrow. A true reminder of what we really are capable of. When it comes to love, we can not help but share, no matter how irrational it may seem. In the assertion that flows from my pen, it is a privilege to pick up where my ancestors left off. I will honor the submission of their will power, claiming my Dharma. A chance to remind my daughter of the layers within herself. It is a pleasure to have the courage to stand in front you, reflecting the Devil and God in us all. Embracing my original decision, I am a queen and my body is my kingdom. Together, we share a loving relationship with the universe, full of destruction and flaws. We accept demons and angels alike, no restrictions. We are the bridge between the spiritual and material. We breed understanding and respect, the effort and ease of our freewill. Exposing myself as this authentic artist, I invite you to question, what did you
come back for?
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