Own a Pussy Because Yours Was Under-utilized: Where are the Cat Men

I have been wondering why it is that there is the Cat Lady but no Cat Man or Cat Gentleman.

C.S. Lewis, in his making a potent metaphor for church-going Christians, made a potent reference to the modern use of the word “gentleman”. He says that the term was once more technical: rather than opening a door for a gal to be dubbed as such, a fellow had to own land and a suit of arms, at least, to qualify. His point is that going to Church doesn’t make one Christian in the Biblical sense, but it had me wondering about how women qualified for such reverent terms, and I ended up assuming that the title was had only by convincing a technical gentleman to put a ring on it. The cat lady, then, is probably meant to be an ironic term. I took Cotillion classes growing up in Texas, though, and so I know that there is certainly an art to a courtesy, so perhaps that’s the qualifying factor.

However, the stereotype goes, of course, that a woman with a cat has no lover, much less children from this absent lover. Therefore, she has no path to success and is a sort of court jester; she hangs out in the royal court and yet is only there in order to be mocked by those with active wombs or suits of arms.

I am not sure if I even like cats. I have always felt a little embarrassed around affection for them, like petting one will give me my first gray hair. A singe lady without cats is wild and free, but one with one or several must be searching for an outlet for the intimacy she didn’t get to share with some product of her womb. For me, I think I’ll continue to put on my professional resume that I own only a dog, just in case.

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