Seeking Refuge.

The Dalai Lama says, “We must consciously develop a greater sense of Universal Responsibility. We must learn to work not just for own individual self, family, or nation, but for the benefit of all mankind.” The United States, nicknamed the melting pot, has been known as the nation that welcomes immigrants. However, with its current administration, this image is slowly diminishing. It is estimated that there are 65 million refugees and displaced people worldwide, which is 1 out of every 115 people. The last year President Obama was in office, the refugee admission cap was set at 110,000.  In 2017, it went down to 50,000, and for 2018, the cap has been set at 45,000, which is the lowest since the current refugee program was created in 1980.

The Dalai Lama has been a refugee since 1959.  He is also one of the most well-known spiritual leaders in the world.  People, worldwide, are quick to read his books and attend his talks. National leaders have also been known to look to him to gain wisdom on how to deal with global crises.  Yet, with all the violence and disregard going on, is the world really listening to his message of kindness? We live in a time where the line between fact and fiction have become blurred, and fear is a daily constant.  Many of us seem to close the door to people based on this fear, instead of opening our hearts.  The Dalai Lama reminds us that through love and compassion, anything is possible.  It’s about seeing ourselves in each other and realizing we are not separate. He teaches us to listen, because at any time, we can be in someone else’s shoes.

Last year, September 2017, I was visiting The Dalai Lama’s current home base in exile, Dharamsala, India. It was here I met a young Tibetan man who told me a story that I will never forget.

Sonam lived in a small village outside Lhasa, the ancient capital of what was once Tibet and also, former native home of the Dalai Lama.  Growing up in Chinese occupied Tibet, Sonam yearned to know more about his people and culture, yet was limited in his rights and studies; citizens are not allowed to own a picture of the Dalai Lama nor display the Tibetan flag. Education, during this time, was also restrictive and expensive. Since he was a child, he had desired to see The Dalai Lama in person, study more of Tibet’s history (according to the Tibetan government), and have better opportunity in education. Seeing no prospect of pursuing his dreams, in 2006, at the age of 21, Sonam made the difficult decision to leave behind the life and family he knew, and escaped Tibet.

“There were four men, including me… one woman, sixteen monks, and the guide.  Our guide was from Tibet but lived in Nepal with his wife and kids.  Five years ago, I heard he got caught and was sentenced five years in a Chinese prison. I don’t know where he is now.  It cost each of us 4,500 CNY (590 USD) to cross from Tibet to Nepal. Today, since there are more Chinese patrolling the border and with a higher chance of being killed, it can cost up to 40,000 CNY!”

During their escape, the group would switch between foot, car and bus; that way, they were harder to catch.  For most of their trek, they had plenty of food to sustain their energy. Once they got near the border, any food left over had to be tossed. “There were more Chinese police near the border, so there were times we would have to run very quickly.  At other times, we would drop and hide behind bushes. Near the border there was a bridge that had these big lights skimming the grounds. Usually there were guards on the bridge; we carried heavy stones in our pockets to throw at them when we ran across.” Fortunately, there were no guards on the bridge that night, and, after fifteen days, Sonam and the others reached Nepal.

Not long after crossing over, they saw a particular type of grass in the forest. Sonam describes it as an edible grass that can be found in Tibet. They hadn’t eaten for close to two days; all of them ran towards the patch and started shoveling handfuls into their mouths. They also drank water from the streams to hydrate. Shortly after, they ran into some locals who gave them more substantial food. “I always dreamed of reaching Nepal one day and imagined it to be clean and beautiful; the Chinese use to call it ‘Nepoor.’ Once I saw the villages, it wasn’t what I imagined; it was poor and dusty.”

It was only a few days of being in Nepal that Sonam and the other refugees were detained by police for not having passports to enter the country. Sonam remained in prison for close to 30 days. After being released, he was put on a bus to Dharamsala, India.  Once he arrived in Dharamsala, he spent ten days in the refugee camp to get all his documentation and temporary living arrangements in order.  It was at the camp, Sonam was able to see and meet, for the first time, the man whose name he could only speak in the privacy of his own home, The Dalai Lama. When speaking of The Dalai Lama, Sonam’s eyes became immersed with light and a soft smile emerged on his face.

For the next five years, Sonam studied English at a local school.  Every Sunday, he and the other students were allowed to go to town to call home.  At the time, there was only one phone nearby for making calls to Tibet; the other two phones were in another area of town, over an hour away. The lines were up to two hours and the cost, 3 rupees per minute, was very expensive. Because Sonam had very little spending money, and there were only three phones in his hometown, it often took weeks to talk with a family member.

A year after his escape from Tibet, Sonam’s mother died of illness; it was a month after he found out she had passed.  “It was hard to hear about my mom.  I escaped Tibet to get an education, so that I could return back and help her; I never got that chance. She died in 2007; because of my basic studies, it wasn’t until 2012, I could pay homage to her. Since I couldn’t go home, I went to south India to do it; there are many Tibetan monasteries there.” Speaking of his mother, Sonam exhibits shakiness in his voice all the while attempting to hold back any tears that may surface.

In 2008, two years after Sonam left Tibet, the Chinese government officially removed him from the family registry, making it even more dangerous for him to ever return.  In 2015, officials called in Sonam’s father and brothers and asked them to persuade Sonam to return; his brothers advised him against it saying that it was a ploy; they feared he would be thrown into prison. That same year his father, who had been ill, died and all communication with his brothers ended.

“In 2013, in the middle of the night, the police raided my brother’s home in Tibet and took him, leaving his two young daughters, who were 5 and 10, alone; my brother’s wife was out of town. My brother didn’t return. The next morning the girls walked twenty minutes to my other brother’s house.  For months, no one knew what had happened to my brother.”  It is believed Sonam’s brother was incarcerated for remaining in contact with exiled Tibetans.  Almost two years after his arrest, Sonam’s brother was released.  Before imprisonment, his brother owned a local business.  Now, he is forbidden to have a phone in his own name and must have permission to leave the region.  Lastly, he can’t open a business of any sort.  This forces him to farm, which provides very little money.

Shortly after Sonam’s brother was released, their sister, who escaped to Europe, contacted Sonam to give him his brother’s new phone number. Sonam phoned him to see how he was doing.  While they were speaking, his brother received a text message from authorities saying to tell Sonam to stop calling.  Because his brother’s phone was constantly monitored, Sonam’s brother told him they could not remain in contact. They have not spoken since. Sonam takes out his phone and shows me an old photo of his brother; one of the few pictures he has of his family.   As he takes the phone back, Sonam solemnly stares at the image for close to a minute; he then hits the button, and the phone screen goes black.

As of today, Sonam has a college degree in Tibetan Cultural Studies and Chinese Language.  Currently, he transcribes videos of talks in the Tibetan language and is working on writing a book about Tibetan warriors.  He said there is a lack of social media to show what is truly going on in Tibet.  In addition, tourists are only allowed to visit areas that show a false representation of Tibetans living supposedly normal and free lives.  “One example would be my friend who has a Tibetan style restaurant with Tibetan books. These books are limited and must be approved through the government.”

“The purpose of what China is doing to Tibet is not good. China uses the Tibetan language to manipulate the people.  Recently, there was a notice of a school in Tibet that said if the students were on time they could study in Chinese.  If late, they would have to study in Tibetan.  Chinese is the language used by the government and the businesses, we must know Chinese to live everyday life in Tibet. They think that the less we know about Tibet and the more we accept their way, the more we will go along with everything.” During our conversation, I noticed, at times, Sonam would mistakenly call Tibet China then correct himself. “It’s funny; it is the Tibetan people most educated by the Chinese system that have the strongest love for the history and culture of Tibet.”

Ever since the Tibetan Uprising in 2008, where riots turned violent and resulted in many deaths, there is more military presence. As a result, even less people are leaving Tibet. Sonam said that during his escape, he was more afraid to be caught and tortured and concerned about the safety of his family, than to be killed.  Sonam has three siblings that remain in Tibet; as of now, his sister in Europe is the only relative he has contact with.  According to Sonam, when he was growing up, the Chinese in Tibet had a well-known line. “They would say that every 100 lies equal a truth. They would start to really believe what they were doing was okay.”

Sonam’s story reminds us that whether it’s Tibet, Syria, Myanmar, Europe, or the United States, all people want to be free and happy in their home land. While we may live in different countries, we are all citizens of this planet. If a nation turns away people who are in danger, what does that say about that nation? Looking at Syria, the president of the United States has recently accused, condemned, and attacked the country’s regime for using chemical weapons on its own citizens. However, when it comes down to helping those same Syrian citizens escaping a brutal environment, the United States has done very little.  As of April 2018, only 11 Syrian refugees had been admitted into the U.S. since the beginning of the year. People agree that it is inhumane to kill thousands of people. Isn’t it inhumane to refuse to help those in need?

That day, my eyes became buckled on Sonam as he walked out the café door and started to make his way down the street. At that moment, all I could think was how easily any one of us, at any given time, could be him.  I am telling Sonam’s story with the hope of changing the perception of refugees.  They are you, and they are me. People having to flee their own country are not to be feared but, instead, embraced. Where does this openness start? In my opinion, it begins with each and every one of us bearing witness and listening to each other.  It is through listening and dropping our fixed views we arrive at understanding.  And through understanding, we can come to see that we have much more in common with one another than we previously thought.

To gain current information and help, below is a list of reputable organizations where people can donate, volunteer, and offer any other services to individuals who have been forced to flee their country.

Refugee Organizations

International Rescue Committee- www.rescue.org

Refugee Council USA- www.rcusa.org

 Tibetan Organizations

LHA Charitable Trust- www.lhasocialwork.org

International Campaign for Tibet- www.savetibet.org


*To respect his identity, I have changed his actual name to Sonam.

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