The Message In Failure

“I let River down, I let you guys down,” bemoaned Kay, as friends were working on cooling her off. This was the second time in a two month span she had suffered heat exhaustion.

We were coming in off trail for a veterinary check at an endurance ride. Kay was riding one of my younger horses on his first attempt at 50 miles. River had been great for her, he was strong, he moved out and worked with confidence. It was clear he was enjoying his time on the trail just as much. We got down and walked our horses in to cool them down and to give them a rest from our weight.

I offered my horse water and went to check my mare’s pulse. She was already below the maximum heart rate criteria, a good sign of her fitness level. I looked back and Kay lagged.

“Why is she taking so long?” I asked myself. I turned back to my horse and then looked again only to see my friend crumpling at the water tank. I called for help from ride management as I tried to take her horse and help Kay cool herself down. All she could think about was slowing me down.

I told her “don’t worry about my ride, you’re more important!” We walked her over to the barn and proceeded to take care of her. She considered going back out on trail; I would not hear of it. After I left camp to continue the ride, knowing she was in good hands, I found out she had vomited–another sign of heat exhaustion.

When I returned, Kay was beating herself up for what she perceived as a failure. I counseled and comforted her as best I could. I did not think she should be beating herself up over this as much as she did and wondered “is failure really failure?”

As highly motivated people, what we see as non-success can be very hard to take. We get told constantly that if we put the work in, we will succeed. It can be devastating to not meet expected goals.

What, though, if we look at what failure tries to tell us? What if we could see the message in the “shortcoming?”

Sometimes a shift in perspective can give completely different insights. In the book, The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor, he talks about choosing to see problems as an opportunity rather than an obstacle.

Shifting to that approach and using positive thinking often times empowers someone to use the event to

-Learn about themselves

-Learn or see new approaches to better tackle the issue in the future

-See the benefits of the timing of the event

-See opportunities for growth

Positive thinking gives many other benefits versus negative thinking, which sometimes can lead us to mire in our own woes and lead to inaction. Positive thinking in this manner can help us to roll with the punches. https://www.elephantjournal.com/2018/06/a-beautiful-life-isnt-so-much-about-finding-balance/

From Kay’s episode, I think the timing was really good–she could have suffered this attack out on the trail where I would not have any extra hands to help her. We would have been alone and out on a trail in the dark with little to no resources.

River, the horse she rode, was safe and sound and got a bonus rest! He was managed beautifully by Kay and we could see his joy and talent he will continue to bring down the trail. He also got a fantastic conditioning ride of 38 miles.

We learned that some of her health issues, while better than they have been, are still making impact on her well-being. This is something that Kay will be following up on.

We also have the opportunity to learn new strategies to cope with someone who suffers from heat exhaustion. This may not only benefit us, but potentially other people we know should we encounter them at other events.

Best of all, we can continue to think about the weekend and find more lessons within the crucible, and that, my friends, I call a success.

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