The Moment of Heartbreak.

Have you ever suffered a major sudden tragedy? The moment when you learn of a loved one’s or dear friend’s unexpected death or a significant other has left without any warning. The kind of day or moment that is seared into your memory. I have lived those such days and the last time I experienced such a time, I sat down and wrote without thinking just feeling. I’m happy to announce I’ve lived past these days and grew from them as I hope you grow from your heartbreaks.  

The Moment of Heart Break

My ears ringing like loud sirens.

My brain jammed with too many thoughts flooding at once.

Swirling to make sense.

A rush of warmth washes over my skin so hot in some places it is a searing burn but my body feels numb at the same time.

My body constricts.

My stomach tucks into itself so tight I want to vomit.

This can’t be purged the source is endless.

The overwhelming sense of loss peeks in but full acceptance by my body, by my mind is too much.

Reality sings a violent song that I’ve have never heard.

I don’t know where I am. I’ve been dropped into this space in time where nothing is as I have known it.

The world spins like a carousel around me moving too fast for me to step on.

My center of what I know to be normal screams with pain and abandon.

Disbelief.

Nervous energy is humming through my entire body.

My hands and my fingers are shaking.

My breathing is shaking.

Every inhale hurts.

Exhaling to shove out the fear.

My chest tightens with a squeezing grip.

My heart is pounding not as if filled with love like recently I once knew

but as if it was searching for a familiar rhythm.

Heart pounding so hard it shatters out of my chest and lands in pieces on the floor around me leaving a gaping hole.

Too many pieces to pick up and put back together.

Anguish bubbles to the surface from deep down out of my eyes and across my face.

Fear and confusion screams from within me.

My sadness.

My life just changed in this moment.

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