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The Ride. I ride my recumbent bike almost everyday and this is one time that things took a turn from the normal routine!

0 Heart it! Christopher Matheny 25
October 15, 2018
Christopher Matheny
0 Heart it! 25

Not sure how this happened in the first place but it did and how I had to deal with it!
Some of you or perhaps a lot of you but then again maybe none of you know that I have been an avid bike rider throughout the years, competing in some of the most challenging fundraisers in the United States spanning multiple states. But this actually has little to do with today’s adventure but then again it just might! So today I was riding my recumbent “Bent” as we call them in the bicycle world so as to not cloud our brains with large words. A helmet with sunglasses is always a good idea to keep out those unwanted flying insects from obscuring one’s vision which at a certain age does not need any assistance in obscurification! I am well protected with the riding gear that is highly recommended by other cyclist and committee to promote safe riding on a bicycle outside of your driveway by design. Here is a list to help you understand the technical aspects of riding a bicycle as a senior adult. Clipless shoes so the foot does not slip off the pedal and cause leg suck which is a totally different subject not to be explained at this time. Riding gloves, helmet, sunglasses, biking shorts, and most importantly a camelback with plenty of fresh water! So there I was pedaling along at a steady speed of 12mph whistling and singing one of my favorite songs, “Arlo Guthry’s Dead Shunk in the middle of the road”. The idea of fresh air, cycling through the dense forest or swamp as it is here in Florida. Dodging alligators, turtles or whatever little critter is on the bike path. When out of nowhere I giant bug about the size of 1972 VW flies directly into my right nostril! Now, this is not something I had ever dealt with before and as a first experience I will opt out for a second experience! The first instinct is to vigorously exhale through the right nostril! I immediately come to a stop since my body language indicated I was having some sort of seizure or heavily involved in a head-banging grunge rock concert. My number one priority was to quickly evict the right nostril vagabond! As I stand on the side of the bike path attempting everything possible to clear the airway. I can feel it moving inside my nostril but he is not coming out any time soon. I decided to cut my ride short and head back to the house where I have a whole shop full of tools just in case this type of situation ever occurred! As I stand in my garage I look out over the tools I have collected through the years. Drill press, torch, power screwdrivers, nail guns, air ratchets, air hammers, chisels, ice picks, needle nose pliers, disk sander, belt sander, Shop Vac?
Now I know the idea of a shop vac is borderline idiotic, so I rethink and decide to use a bottle of saline solution as to give it one last attempt before I take the drastic measures! I could still feel him moving, perhaps he will just craw out and I will be done with him. At this point I have moved to the bathroom, I am standing in front of the mirror thinking about the consequences if I drowned him with this bottle of saline. Will he have to be carried out on a stretcher? Will I end up in the emergency room with a bug in the nose diagnosis, is this covered by my insurance? It finally ended with a bottle of saline solution and a mini keyboard vacuum. Not sure what type of bug it was but after the ordeal was over I had to give homage to the bug whoever he was. I have to think it was purely an accident that he got caught in the nose of a human, but I have to think it was better than being splattered on a windshield at 60mph!

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0 Heart it! Christopher Matheny 25
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