Saturday night. A busy restaurant. I am having dinner with a friend of mine. I am one of the most curious dates you can think of. I am that girl that asks questions about the porn you watch.
I am not sure how this conversation even started, but the next thing I know my friend is sharing a story about the time he lost his virginity. And how embarrassed he was when he came so fast. How fast? Very fast.
But he is not someone that just goes with the flow. He is an action taker and a problem solver. Being disappointed with his performance that looked nothing like those porn videos he spends hours indulging into, he does his research and purchases a revolutionary penis numbing spray.
You might not be familiar with the penis numbing spray. It is sometimes recommended by medical professionals. It possesses tissue numbing properties, hence, you do not suffer from the immature ejaculation.
Next time he’s about to have some action he excuses himself to the bathroom and gives himself a little spritz. He’s ready. His girlfriend decides to treat him to a blowjob. Next thing you know she looks as if she just got back from the dentist and had her wisdom tooth removed. He can’t understand quite well what she’s saying. The numbing spray must have numbed her mouth. Not awkward at all.
They do not have sex that night, but the next one they do. He adds more planning into the action. The penis freshen-up ceremony is taken care of way in advance to make sure the numbing spray is fully absorbed to avoid the tragedy that happened the night before.
This time all seems to be going well. It’s just he can’t really feel much. It’s going in and out, in and out. He feels like he could go like that on and on. He’s not able to come. He chose to fake it instead. Is that what sex is all about?
He asks his experienced cousin about it, who suggests he should continue using the numbing spray combining it with Viagra. He does as told. It does not help. He remembers feeling so much anger towards his girlfriend.
Now that he remembers his experience it’s all fun and jokes, but it took him years to learn about a woman’s body and to understand that sex is not just about the intercourse and the genitals. It’s the soul connection that matters. Intimacy, listening to each other, being brave to be vulnerable, being present and slowing down instead of trying to reproduce the last seen porn video.
Spend more time feeling instead of just doing.
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