Knowing how stress feels in your body will help you let it go.
In neuro-linguistic programming (according to the iNLP Center) we call stressful or negative states stuck states. The stress that comes with them, if unchecked can cause a variety of damage, as I’m sure you know.
Becoming conscious of your stuck states involves consciously feeling the tension associated with them. Here is how stressful, negative feelings most commonly manifest in the body:
Tight feelings or tension around the stomach, shoulders, chest, solar plexus, back, lower back, throat, back of the neck, face, and eyes.
Cold, queasy feelings in the pit of the stomach, solar plexus, chest, throat.
Moving feelings. If you pay attention, your feelings might be pulsating or ‘spinning’ quickly or slowly in a clockwise or counterclockwise direction. Sometimes feelings come and go like waves, or gently flow in one direction or another.
Shapes. Feelings can take shapes: a ball, an oval, a triangular shape, a blob of some kind. Feelings can be shaped like a diamond, a pipe, a dagger, etc…
Depth. Feelings have depth. They might be on the surface and not penetrate deeply. Feelings might be deep – several inches – beneath your skin. They’re three dimensional. Keep this in mind when discerning their shape.
In NLP, these qualities of our inner experience are called submodalities.
Soothing Experiences Manifest Differently in the Body
Identify any soothing experiences you’ve had, such as the:
Relaxation of warm shower water washing over you.
Awe of standing next to the sea.
Warmth of watching cute animals play.
Connection and love you feel in the presence of someone you love.
Relaxation you feel before drifting off the sleep or as you’re waking up.
Safety and comfort of your favorite chair or room in your home.
Compassion you feel when helping someone in true need.
Gratitude you feel when you realize how fortunate/blessed you are.
In NLP, we call these resource states. These are positive, healing states that you can access at any time and apply toward stressful experiences to release them. Generally, resource states are broader and lack tension – like feeling good all over.
The Secret
Own your body. If you’re stressed, OWN it by drilling down on the feeling. Where do you feel it, specifically? What are the specific qualities of the feeling per the description at the start of this article? Own it – don’t let these feelings own you. Be highly aware of the quality of your feelings. It won’t hurt you one bit.
Consciously owning and feeling these stuck feelings in all their detail, relax the rest of your body. If you’re all tense in your chest, can you relax your stomach, arms, legs, and feet?
Wait. That’s right. Pay close attention to the qualities of your feelings and wait them out, noticing how the qualities shift and change on their own. Feelings are temporary body states. Even if you wanted to, there is no way to hang onto a feeling indefinitely. It will come and go.
However, if you resist them, they tend to stick around longer, as if you were damming up a stream that wants to flow. Let it flow and pay close attention as they do. For most people, 30 seconds is all it takes to allow the feelings to pass. It’s much longer if you’re trying to build an emotional dam.
Sources:
What is Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP?
https://inlpcenter.org/what-is-neuro-linguistic-programming-nlp/
Effects of stress on the body:
https://www.healthline.com/health/stress/effects-on-body
What are NLP submodalities?
https://inlpcenter.org/nlp-submodalities/
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