The Truth WE seek, is ALL of US…

It was a cold but sunny day in February. I stood among my siblings, while the military gun salute honored the passing of my father.  I still remember the coldness of his skin, as he lied in the casket.

My siblings and I had started a group text after the funeral.  Six months after the funeral, one of my brothers texted us, “mom has cancer”.

The day I returned from dad’s funeral, my boyfriend at the time, arrived home, and his greet was with eyes down, a cold hug.  I knew it was time to grow. It was time to move beyond this old way of loving.  The paradigm that I had held onto for so long was coming to an end.  The paradigm my parents had taught me was slowly fading from the vibrations of my soul.

Letting go of what resonates with us, is painful.  It’s as if parts of our body, are  being torn from  flesh;  organs  can feel crushed and yet somehow, we know,  that the resonation of a love that had  been taught was NOT the resonation that now serves us  and our new selves.

Tearing apart from what felt like it was a part of my every cell, felt like I had died.  I died with my dad.  I died again when I left my boyfriend.  I died again, when I forgave my mother for all the perceptions of a child who felt unloved and stepped by her side to support her through this new journey.

Sharing our journeys with each other, is like supporting each other and applauding our vulnerability, our truth without judgment. It is this vulnerability that leads to growth.  For hiding behind a mask of spirituality, is just another mask, to suppress our own truths and the universal truth.

We are all human. In this human –ness, we rise, we fall, we fail, we succeed, we love, we hate, we kill, we give birth, we create and we destroy. We are ALL.  To deny a part of our humanity is to deny our truth.

To evolve towards a place of universal love, WE must first, embrace our universal hate, our universal suffering. Shamanistic and mythical cultures, name the hidden parts of our humanity, the shadow.

Until, WE, stop hiding from the horrible parts of ourselves, we will NEVER move towards universal compassion and love because we must first learn to love the shadow of our humanity. The opposite is true, to deny ourselves joy, play, laughter and love is not wholly living.

The relationship with my ex taught me to love. Through the acknowledgement of seeing my own shadow side, which was reflected in the relationship, my extreme love for this man, inspired me to look at my own shadow sides.   My own suppressed anger from traumas of the past, pushed down so deep, that my conscious mind no longer was aware , anger was there.Revealing to me, that this was in fact what was hiding and causing me to fear, fully living.  I’ve had several loves in my life, and always wondered how both love and hate can co exist at the same time.  I know now, because I acknowledge my humanity. All that I am, without shame or guilt.  Love for myself came with the acknowledgement that a part of my human ness, is my OWN love and anger.

My acknowledgement of my humanity, inspired me to walk away from my ex and from unforgiveness.  My love for myself, inspired me to choose me. All of me. And to explore a path, of love towards myself, that allowed all of me to show up.  This courage comes from a desire to live wholly and stand in OUR TRUTH.  This acknowledgement, unlocks the power in us, the courage, the strength WE already POSSESS, to walk away from situations that no longer serve us, that do more harm than healing. This power, as it now is allowed to Vibrate within us, unlocks forgiveness, self love, acceptance, and abundance for ourselves and will transcend to our self compassion, a universal compassion that teaches us Passion is Possible without Hate, without dominion, without judgment and survival of the fittest mentalities. This acknowledgement, shelters us in  groundedness, to stand in the midst of violence and misunderstandings, without cowering.

To all of us, who want to evolve. To all of us, who want to know the truth. To all of us who want the courage to look inward and see that which is holding us back and causing us to hide.  When we look at the past, and have the courage to face the demon, the shadow parts of our ancestors- and see ourselves in them- then we become the truth we seek.

We then embody forgiveness, as it comes easily , once we face all that is hidden within our own selves and realize that WE are in fact a reflection of everything and everyone. We are a reflection of our haters and abusers. When we have the courage to stand face to face with – the shadow- and be still with our shadow- we step into the knowing, we are all ONE.

This is standing in our power- not dominion, not egocentricity, but standing still and connecting to ALL of ourselves. Until we stand ‘still’ in this knowing, to forgive takes effort.  To find strength takes effort.  Our truth is that we are ALL of good and bad.  Once we come to this knowing, we realize we then have choice.

It is not a path of bliss. It is a path of death and rebirth.  It is not to be romanticized or tantrasized.

It is a path of honor, respect, and constant fortitude.

Humility and strength then strive for union.

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