Why Single Men Are Turning to Surrogacy.

When we think of single parenting by choice, it tends to be the woman who never married and has decided to have a baby, even without a partner. However, times are changing! Albeit small, there is an increasing number of single men each year who turn to infertility treatment in order to start their family.

Like women, many men also feel the drive to reproduce and have a family. They may want to have a child through which they can pass down family traits and a biological connection. Some men have always pictured themselves a daddy, and when they haven’t met the perfect partner, they still feel that drive so strongly that they look into alternative ways of conceiving.

For some men, this means stepping outside a traditional relationship and not relying on having a partner to have a baby. The surrogacy process allows a man to have a child on their own terms, even if they aren’t in a stable relationship. While this used to be unusual, it is becoming much more common. Let’s face it; family dynamics and family structures are changing. Single parent families are far more common, and single dads are raising their kids.

Babies born through a surrogate were not accidental pregnancies and were very strongly wanted by their parent. In addition, having a child on his own terms means that the child will be raised in a home without the instability associated with a rocky relationship.

It’s clear that men willing to pursue fatherhood through surrogacy have the dedication it takes to become a successful parent. First, surrogacy can be crazy expensive. Between paying medical costs, legal fees and the compensation to both an egg donor and surrogate, the costs can add up quickly. Add in the time required to complete such a cycle and it’s easy to see that anyone willing to go through all that will be a committed father.

All this isn’t to say that there aren’t challenges as well. Many men still face discrimination and difficulty finding a surrogacy or adoption agency willing to work with them. And some surrogates may be hesitant to carry for a single man wanting to solo parent.

Men also must deal with the (false) cultural stereotypes stating that single dads can’t be nurturing or provide a stable home and family life for a child without a mother or second partner. Even worse, some people still believe that single men are more likely to abuse a child they are raising alone. While these concerns, of course, aren’t founded, it is hurtful and offensive to a man who desperately wants to be a dad.

Ultimately, it is up to every man (and woman) to decide what is right for them. Though it can be incredibly fulfilling, single parenting is also really hard. In an interview with Parenting.com, Matt Morgan says it best: “I don’t think this would be Plan A for anybody in my situation, but it’s a great Plan B and alternative for them.”

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