Substance P. > via Caroline Treadway
This sea veggie tonic will mitigate any caffeine overdose, cures bad luck, even long-standing habits of procrastination and laziness! I’m now such a big fan of Frequensea, I pledge to drink it every morning with unwavering devotion and fervent loyalty! I will even give up coffee! Um…wait, I take that last bit back. Seriously, one sip of this stuff will zoom you from gloomy to giddy before you can say phytoplankton. Contains the sci-fi-esque Substance P, which reverses diabetes in mice and stimulates cellular growth. BTW: don’t worry, newbies-the sweet, soapy rose flavor will grow on you.