Unifying Head and Heart. [To Give, or Not to Give? That is the Question.]

Via on Apr 28, 2009

picture-420by Sarah Miller

I’m not used to guys asking for my phone number. Where I come from, I’m not exactly anyone’s “type.”  I guess I’m a bit out of practice.

Yesterday on the airplane, I had a brief, but nice and pleasant chat with the guy sitting next to me. No harm in being polite. Right? When we began the descent towards Denver, he asked for my phone number. I said yes, then wrote it in his book, without thinking of an alternative option.

I didn’t give him my real number though. I didn’t want to. And realize, now, that I should have been more upfront about that- more honest. I’m not comfortable with giving out my phone number to just anyone, and yet, I hand out my business cards right and left. So what’s the difference?

Trying to find meaning in this encounter and figure out my reaction to it, I’m left feeling dishonest. Untruthful. Unhappy with my actions.

Meditation and yoga this morning started the process of contemplation, and I realized that the real issue is that I went against my heart. When we are not honest with ourselves, or others, we undeniably hurt ourselves. I’m overtly sensitive to this reality. (I also have a knack for over-processing.)

As I figure out my next move (to a new state) and eventually settle into my new home, I realize that I will continue to confront this reality more and more when I’m outside of my comfort zone and my old, familiar surroundings. I better come up with a better practice in order to reach more harmony with head and heart.

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About Saraswati J.

Saraswati J. is a Jyotish Coach and Consultant, bridging ancient Jyotish wisdom with Embodiment and Expressive Art Therapy resources. Her Jyotish work is especially well suited to the extra sensitive artists, mystics and healers—and those who need insights for their dharmic path and personal transformation process. Check out her website and find her on Facebook. You can join her newsletter for special astrological insights or register for her weekly Jyotish Basics classes for an extra dose of healing wisdom. Additionally, she creates unique adornments with the urban goddess in mind. Check out her jewelry at Swati Jr* Jewelry and also on Facebook.

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4 Responses to “Unifying Head and Heart. [To Give, or Not to Give? That is the Question.]”

  1. Katja Miller says:

    First of all, you are DEFINITELY many people's type, you just choose not to reciprocate. That being said, why didn't you just hand the dude a card and call it a day?

  2. sj* says:

    maybe it was the f*n turbulence over texas. maybe it caught me off guard. maybe i'm like antisocial and can't think clearly in public situations. maybe it is rahu/ketu in my 9th……..

  3. Heather says:

    Ack, I've totally done this myself in the past (though admittedly not recently). Two alternatives: next time, you can offer to take his number. That way you can think about it and give him a call if you feel like taking a leap, but not feel pressured. Or, offer to give him your email address or facebook name or some other less personal means of communication, where you can get to know him better without feeling put on the spot. Good luck and kudos for being so candid about it.

  4. Ann says:

    Just caught off guard. now you have the chance to think this type of situation through and have a ready response. The email idea is a good one. Safe and no pressure. You're upset because you felt insecure. You didn't know what to say and it made you feel vulnerable.

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