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August 31, 2009

Whole Foods Hot Air. [April Fool’s Day edition]

Breaking: Whole Foods acquired by Wal*Mart.

In a joint statement by both companies, Wal*Mart explained that Whole Foods represented a small, but valuable demographic that they wanted to work with and monetize.

Whole Foods’ John Mackey: “I’m proud to be acquired by Wal*Mart. Many of my liberal customers view them as a big baddy. But imagine if Wal*Mart can spread the values of Whole Foods to middle America, and to the world?”

~

Everyone who believes the above, sign up here for a free sample of the below:

“When pressed, representatives from the company admitted that the Organic Air was not local. Apparently they tried to source local air, but found that the standards in New Zealand were simply superior and resulted in a lower overall carbon footprint.”

With thanks for the tip to Regeneration.

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