Via elephantjournal.com

on Dec 12, 2009

Patrick Stewart on the Shameful Secret known as Domestic Violence.

“Almost 50%…”

“A worldwide phenomena…”
~

There is no shame in the truth. “The Proclamation of Truth is Fearless,” as is said in my Buddhist community.

And the truth is that many of us—you and I, and everyone we know—has experienced the loss of self-control in a mentor, a parent, a loved one. And these “bad lessons” in how we ought to work with frustration carry through the generations.

And yet, it’s a hidden problem, a sickness that’s too rarely talked about.

When a kid drives drunk, he or she is busted. When a drunk kid hits his girlfriend, it’s a private issue, too often.

The solution is not to drag every offender into court, or jail. But the solution does have much to do with dragging this out of the shadows and into the open. I know that in my own life, dealing with passing moments of anger and loss of control has been a lifelong project, and one that I aim to complete before I take it upon myself to raise a child, let alone accept a loved one into a committed relationship where the ups and downs of life necessarily bring out the worst in all of us, sometimes.

In Buddhism, they say that when one experiences anger, one is to freeze oneself like a block of wood, and not move. Through yoga, I’ve learned to breathe through those moments. Through relationships, I’ve learned that walking out a door, giving the moment space, is a simple way to introduce oxygen into the emotional tempest.

As Patrick Stewart says below, that loss of control is an experience that is learned by the child, and just as he has had to unlearn what his father taught him by example, so must we all unlearn this terrible cancer upon the health and peace of our worldwide society.

A followup video to a more personally moving one I posted last week on elephantjournal.com.

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