Monsanto, the corporation formerly known as Food, can’t get it (production) up.

Saturday means one thing in the Lewis Household: bath with coffee and The New Yorker, a much-needed iPhone-less, laptop-less break from techno-saturation.

This morning, for whatever reason, I happened to grab a year-old, half-read New Yorker and was…er, pleasantly surprised to see Monsanto, the GMO-happy Evil Death Star Puppy-killer of mega-Agribusiness, the Corporation formerly known as Food, spending their bloody dollars on every bleeding-heart liberal’s favorite bleeding-heart magazine, The New Yorker.

How altruistic of Monsanto to spend $100K keeping my favorite magazine going!

Even more wonderful: the ad proclaimed Climate Change as a fact, which it is (if you ask scientists, instead of flat-earthers).

I’m going right out and buying me some biodiversity-killing gmo beet seeds, and am gonna spread them merrily all over liberal-central Boulder County Open Space.

Oh, wait, already been done.

~

More food for a growing population? Oh no you dint:

Providing abundant and accessible food means putting the latest science-based tools in farmers’ hands, including advanced hybrid and biotech seeds. Monsanto’s advanced seeds not only significantly increase crop yields, they use fewer key resources — like land and fuel — to do it. That’s a win-win for people, and the earth itself.

Bonus, from Food, Inc:

Monsanto may believe in Climate Change, and love The New Yorker, but it doesn’t give a shiite about farmers:

Monsanto patents plants and food and, now, life itself!