Why I Will Never Go To Burning Man.
(Yet I still dare to call myself an artist.)
I respect the concept of Burning Man and think it’s a pretty cool idea. I say “concept” and “idea” because I’ve never actually been to Burning Man. I can’t remark with confidence on something I’ve never done. And as a rule, I don’t think you can judge something until you’ve experienced it. But I can say with 100% confidence that I will never go to Burning Man.
I’ve lived in the Bay Area since the dawn of “the playa” and have many friends who go every year. I have to live through their waffling for the weeks and months leading up to this August event, and also endure their endless, “You’ve never been to Burning Man? You HAVE to go. YOU would LOVE it!”
I bite my tongue every time a person I just met a minute ago takes me aside, holds my hand, looks me dead in the eye, and tells me with utter confidence that they know for a fact that Burning Man is going to be my personal spiritual salvation. Followed shortly thereafter by some smug commentary about how I can’t possibly know what Burning Man is like, what it’s really all about, until I go and experience it for myself. The convincing is relentless, insistent, and a bit presumptuous.
While I am generally a big believer in trying everything once (except skydiving, crystal meth, and murder), I am quite sure that Burning Man is not for me.
These might be the reasons you think I don’t want to go to Burning Man:
- Because I don’t like art. Au contraire, mon ami; I love anything creative! Yay for Burning Man and creativity! With that said, I don’t necessarily think that donning glittery hotpants and phosphorescent platform shoes (and nothing else, for a week) necessarily renders you an “artist.” (And yes, I get it; there’s more to it than that. But, there’s also that.)
- Because I don’t get it. I definitely get it. I grew up in a very progressive part of The Berkshires (Massachusetts) where even our summer camps were like mini Burning Mans. My parents were young idealistic hippies who let us dress ourselves from day one and insisted that we call them by their first names. Our “costume trunk” held more outfits than we had real clothes. We lived in a tent in the yard for an entire summer while the foundation was being laid for the house my parents built—with their own hands—with wood from an old torn-down tobacco barn. We barely had plumbing, and to this day my mom doesn’t own electric appliances. I think it’s safe to say that my entire upbringing was a prerequisite for Burning Man.
- Because I don’t like to get dirty. I’ve heard other people say that they don’t understand why anyone would want to spend a week in the desert getting dirt in every orifice (see below). I actually don’t have a problem with that. I’m not overly attached to showering and quite appreciate the idea of a hot, dusty, dirty week in the desert. Alone.
- Because I don’t like camping. I love camping. Again, alone.
Here are the actual reasons why I’m sure Burning Man is not for me:
- I don’t like people. Well, let me qualify that. I like people; I just don’t like big groups of them in one place. Especially if that place is locked in by miles of desert and horrible traffic jams.
- I don’t like festivals. See above, and also, they are loud, and frantic, and filled with people whose drug ingestion has hindered their perception of appropriate personal space. (Disclaimer: I’m not specifically talking about Burning Man here, since I’ve obviously never been to attest to this myself. I’m just talking about festivals in general and my experience of them.)
- The air of preciousness around it. Not long into high school I developed an aversion to clique-ish situations. The moment the world was divided into “been to Burning Man” versus “haven’t been to Burning Man” camps, I knew where I stood. The same place I stood in high school: on the outside.
- Because I have an aversion to situations that masquerade as non-conformist when they are actually the norm. If you’re going to do what everyone else does, don’t pretend like it’s some radically new and different idea that’s going to rock the establishment and start a counterculture.
I’m not the only freak who doesn’t want to go to Burning Man.
I asked a few of my other really cool, creative friends why they won’t go to Burning Man, and here’s what they had to say:
“It seems like the place where repressed people go to give themselves permission to act with abandon. If I wanted that I’d hang out with Republicans at a rave. ” – Vanessa
“I’m 40, that is why. If I went to Burning Man I would arrive on a private flight, party for 24 hours and fly straight out. I don’t think I embrace the spirit of the Burn when all I want to do is check out the shit show and shower ASAFP.” – Kevin
“I can see why people go to Burning Man and have a blast. BUT SORRY, NOT FOR ME. Where do I even begin? The idea of spending days in the desert with the sun beating down on me and sand blowing in my face is not my idea of fun. I would consider going when Four Seasons opens a hotel there. I could then try to have fun during the day, and then go back to my hotel for a spa treatment, followed by a gourmet meal, and end the day sleeping in a comfortable bed with air-conditioning. ” – Tom
“I’ve never been to Burning Man because it operates on a bartering system and most people want to barter drugs and I hate doing hard drugs in crowds with Port-O-Potties and no showers. And I hate people that are on drugs. And I hate Port-O-Potties. Even though I’m fine with no showers. ” – Leslie
“Burning Man is the king of all icebreakers. Remember in school, or in groups, when the teacher would say, ‘Ok, now I want you to break off into groups and come up with…’ Or, ‘Ok, now we’re going to go around the room and introduce ourselves and say one thing nobody knows about us…’ There are those who cringe and want to cut themselves under the desk when they hear this, and others who are secretly ecstatic at the idea. There are ‘icebreaker lovers’ and ‘icebreaker haters.’ Guess what I am?” – Jen
“It’s a cult started by some man who’s discovered a way to charge thousands of people approximately $300 to go camping. Also, I would die of thirst and starvation out of fear that everything was ‘kool-aid.’ And the freaky ginormous ‘Burning Man’ seems a little too KKK-ish to me. I mean why burn him? At night? Why couldn’t they paint him with glitter or use all that wood to build houses or something?” – Christine
So yes, I hear you when you say that I would LOVE Burning Man, but trust me on this one, I wouldn’t.
Brilliant illustration uptop by my very talented friend Vanessa Fiola: www.vanessafiola.com
Incorrect source, offensive, or found a typo? Or do you want to write for Elephant?
im with you, and i am a living, breathing artist.
not for all the same reasons or anything… some yes, some no~
OMG MOVE AWAY FROM THE BAY! Ha, and wait for someone to give you a ticket and go for an hour, then when you tell those people they will just stare back at you in horror for not liking it and disgusted at your violation of their special happy place. but also maybe move. That is so sad people ruined bm for you. it is just an over the top party but it isn't actually crowded because it's huge and it is just a beautiful place where you can see the excess that is possible when people bring together everything they can find that blinks, very bizzar, but for some reason one of the most beautiful creations ever.
Totally with you. BM is not the same animal it was earlier, in any case.
And it’s not dirt, it’s talc-fine *caustic alkali*. Sweat at all and your skin burns. I helped a friend clean a tent of playa and it convinced me never to go.
Once you do go, you will have playa in your stuff for the rest of your life. In everything. It’s unstoppable, you’d have to get rid of everything you own and move to get shed of it!
The crazy thing is these days I’m getting status updates from Black Rock. Really folks, it *was* about getting away from all that and into a TAZ — a temporary autonomous zone.
But all my love to those who can afford it and who love it. My friends do build the most amazing things for BM, so it serves a wonderful purpose that way… but I’ll stay home, thank you
I have the same feelings about Burning Man as I do about tattoos: freakishly fascinating from afar but I have no desire to wake up at it or wearing it.
You say you get it… but, wow… you really don't.
A ticket to enlightenment is only $300 away.
NEVER! Been to the festivals that preceded BM, and from what I have learned from "burners" ( hip-clique name, no doubt ), the entire event is the inclusion of everything that was NOT good about the original events of the past. BM is for city folks to bring their city-shit with them to the desert and have a collective self-congratulatory giant-ego circle-jerk. I, for one, have never been inclined to be around such predictable and predicated exercises in cliquey hipness. The entire idea was a rip-off, and the original gatherings of such events were FREE! ( which would be the proper price for liberation and creativity, of course! ) Art? My ass. What important ANYTHING has come out of BM? Just the inspiration for a slew of anecdotal egotistical ravings, that is all. "Burners" in itself tells the whole story.
The Butthole Surfers played a show in my hometown! I had to save up money for 2 months to afford a $30 ticket which was well worth it. I see Burning man as a mini Plutarchy. Small group of people making a fuckload of money off a large group. Pay me to go, feed & house my family for the entire event and I will be there, other than that, i have to go make a living.
Great article, I knew burningman was not for me, for the exact same reasons – but I have gone the last 2 years because my girlfriend loves it and wants to experience it together. I know if there were something equally important to me, she would go for me, even if it wasn't her thing…but I would much rather spend the week camping by a cool lake in the mountains.
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[...] can see the excess that is possible when people bring together everything they can find that blinksLindsey commenting on “Why I Will Never Go To Burning Man.” | elephant journal Burning [...]
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[...] aversion to large unstructured crowd scenes is one of the main reasons I have never had even the slightest inkling of a desire to go to Burning Man and why, every August right around this time, I remember to feel extremely fortunate that I have [...]
When someone asked me to explain Burning Man(I've been twice, driving form Tn to Nevada) I say it's childhood relived. You ride bikes everywhere, play dress up, play with fire, camp, stay up late,listen to loud music, build forts, explore and make new friends. If it was closer I would go every year. I literally dream about it all the time. They usually ask about drugs and nakedness and sex. I always say, "It's like any city and you can do what you're into, and get what you want." I have this fear it will no longer be happening the next time I have the opportunity to go.
As an artist, the thing I respect about Burning Man is that it’s a democratic free-for-all. It serves as one alternative to the international art fair circuit, which is dominated and controlled by rich collectors and the Art World gate-keepers. And Burning Man is a massive alternative at that – far more impact than your local artist-run show.
That said, I will probably never go, either. I think I missed the boat. I should have gone when I was a bit younger and could deal with crowds, port-o-potties, and people on drugs. I do love to camp, but in the woods and away from other people!
I hate the idea of being in 100 degree weather with minimal water and sand covering everything.. Burning in sand!
I am a member of a large ecstatic dance community whose litanies often echo those you hear. I look at them with energy shields and smile.." you are crazy".
BM is a gifting community; NOT a barter system. How can you fault anyone for wanting to break out of the parameters of our existing society for a chance to experience a week without monetary currency, advertising, or technology. This blog did nothing to illuminate the BM experience in any way. Pessimistic and narrow minded people will always find a negative angle on anything, particularly things in which they know nothing about. Quit complaining about your first world problems and do the real work. Your friend was right…people like you really need to be reprogrammed and could benefit from an experience like BM. You need to lose the chip on your shoulder. Om…
bullshit.
it costs thousands of dollars to go to BM: tickets, food, water, camping gear, transportation, gifts, playa-specific items, etc.
BM broadcasts a live stream, has radio stations, internet access, is allover Twitter, FB etc. and uses quite a bit of technology to build a city in a desert in high summer.
There's plenty of self-promotion at BM, which is what ads are.
And BM is a first world situation of the highest magnitude–it's a gift of massive economic and social privilege.
this kind of defensive, self righteous, spiteful proteslytizing is what turns people off of BM–and why do you give two fucks if the OP goes or not?
You need to lose your privileged, mean, narrow minded rancor.
Couldn't you have just posted these two quotes from yourself and been over with it?
"In fact, strangely, the only time I feel lonely is when I’m surrounded by people."
"I'm a happy shut-in."
Out of curiosity, I read a few more of your "I'm a loner" blog posts, and it seems that for every one positive comment about your solitary life, you make five disparaging remarks about !fun! social situations where there are lots of people.
Would you consider writing a blog post about the wonders of being alone? I would find that a lot more rewarding and interesting to read than your posts with negative slants.
I have participated in the Texas regional burn event, Burning Flipside, for a number of years now. This year (in just a few days, actually) I'm going to Burning Man for the first time. I am super-stoked.
The negative or questionable event attributes mentioned in your post, and in many of the comments, are true. So are the positive ones about which Burners speak (incessantly). At a burn one can experience moments of transcendence and spiritual illumination, profound growth, and catharsis. It is generally mixed in with equal amounts of grueling physical discomfort, loneliness and anxiety, and cringe-inducing celebrations of mindless narcissism. Also, a fair amount of boredom and tedious conversation.
For some a burn event becomes a major milestone in their life, marking an important beginning or end. The blossoming of a new type of awareness, the release of a great burden they didn't even realize was there. For others it's simply a big party offering a week's worth of cheap titillation and epic inebriation. And there are those for whom it is simply a difficult, unpleasant week of wasted vacation time. I suspect for most of us it is all of those things and more.
For those of us that work hard during the event and throughout the year to provide the infrastructure, support services, and art necessary for a burn I'd like to mention that for many participants discipline, ingenuity and self-sacrifice is an integral part of the culture. But #3 really strikes home: "The air of preciousness around it." While it is disheartening to hear contemptuous and dismissive statements about Burning Man and its participants based on broad generalizations and uninformed assumptions, I have to admit that many burners are delusional True Believers, saddled with the arrogance and smugness that often accompanies that perspective. But despite all of that I still have the desire to participate. It is an adventure of sorts, I enjoy the challenge and have not finished exploring that bit of collective expression. I like your post and do appreciate the reality-check.
My husband does not attend nor is he interested in attending. He's not upset about it enough to write a blog, though…You get off the hook I guess since you live in SF
Burning man is a great yin yang. It is awesomeness and douchebaggery at its finest. It can be a beautiful exercise in human nature or an absurd twist in human manure. You are right though that many folks are overly outwardly excited about burning man, gotta have some tact…..Someone isnt "lame" just because they do not attend Burning Man. Its time that Burners spread the vibes into the world instead of trying to convince the world to go to the desert stie. That is not going to work…it comes off as exclusive, clubby, and Kool Kidz Kamp. It would be nicer if people would just BE what they think is so awesome about BMan, and maybe show by example of what they love about it instead of being Like All OMG Are You Going To Burning Man? It is sad when someone has such a sad life that they ONLY love that week in the desert, but that is the minority out there. THere are lost souls, but there are all kinds of souls. With that said, It Sucks….Don't Go 
I don't have anything against burning man, but I can't picture myself going out of my way to be there. . . I would be perfectly happy if I just happened to be passing through the dessert one day and burning man was happening! That would be cool and I'd strip down to my undies and cake myself with clay and glitter and find a pair of steampunk goggles, but I do that kinda stuff anyway. I don't need to be at some huge socially sanctioned freak out to let loose, and I also hate meeting new people at parties and festivals. most of them are much lamer in real life than they are at the party. . .
Just as well. You’re clearly Too Cool for it.
Yup. BM is a big gathering of privileged first world folk, doing irreparable damage to a very fragile ecosystem, wasting time, energy, fuel and building materials for a self-indulgent self-congragulatory wankfest. But it’s all about the art and self-expression and whatever-whatever. WHATEVER.
why i would never go to burning man either: because its full of assholes! narcissistic hipsters high on themselves and on drugs and alcohol, in the deathly hot sun with no showers, no clean bathrooms, dirt and dust, loud pounding head banging computer generated noise machines 24/7, freezing nights, BYO EVERYTHING. also, that desert land is not meant for humans idiocies to be hedonistically forced upon this part of mother earth. it is very sensitive ground and not meant for this kind of invasion by assholes or anyone else. the native americans in the surrounding area are also very offended by this week long party and dont feel that it is respectful of the land and causes harm to the earth. also interesting that no money is allowed, well, that is after you buy your $400.00 ticket! burning man = something out of a bad dream…
Love this post. Humorous reminder that there are all types of people in this world whose preferential playtime varies greatly. I am not a joiner in large festivals, large concerts, large camping grounds, etc. It's simply not my thing.
A man just announced on his facebook page yesterday that he'd be going to BM this year wearing nothing but a helmet and a very revealing speedo- and his exact coordinates at the desert site. LOL. I stopped subscribing to his posts at that point. To each their own…
Always good to have reassurance that others have an aversion of not joining the crowd, too.
There are many arguments about burning man being so important to self expression, liberation and the arts, all the while forgetting….all the author is doing is EXPRESSING herself and her opinions, quite publicly. An art form in itself, it is much more soul bearing in my opinion than what you are defending. I really respect Joslyn for stating her mind and being so open….no costume required.
I am so happy to read this. Not everyone should go to Burning Man. On this I can totally agree. But Joslyn you really don't get it, and can't get it unless you've been. It isn't about costumes or drugs. It's about being part of a community where you can put aside your preconceptions about who you are and about what is safe or unsafe.
Why the need to publicly defend yourself for something you will never do? However, Sounds to me like burning man has already got a hold of you. You seem to be quite intrigued by it. Just a matter of time.
Thank you for pointing out you can be creative, individual, and artistic and NOT go to Burning Man! I've lived in Santa Cruz for years and have watched the endless parade, both pre-and-post, of the wide eyed, blissed-out burning man crowds ensuring me that I'm missing out on something amazing. I simply inform them that I grew up in Arizona, where for lack of anything else to do in high school, I spent the better part of my teens sweating out hallucinogenic trips in the middle of the dessert creating, to my drug fueled mind, what looked like art. I've moved on.
Furthermore, I find people who are truly content with what they're doing don't feel the need to ensure everyone else it's really cool and they should be doing it too. Reminds me of the Mormon missionaries, if it's so great, why are you worried if everyone else believes you?
I've been to BM twice. I don't consider myself a 'burner' and I don't feel like my decision to go there has any real marking on my identity. I travel to new places to experience and observe. Being in a new country and interacting with people who believe or behave differently than me does not make me any more or less like them. I hope those experiences make me a more empathetic person but my expectations are not much more.
Burning Man hold very little resemblance to any music festival I have ever been to. I didn't wear anything glittery. I wore attire appropriate for wind storms. There is nothing quite like seeing a fleeting city in the middle of no where. It is amazingly vast and for the most part the noise is more like a distance drumming at your camp. I think the only reason one really needs to go to BM is curiosity. Being apprehensive is fine. Having low expectations, even better. It is a truly unique experience, and as others have mentioned, you can get what you want out of it. I do know a few people who were adamantly opposed to BM and had the time of their lives. I wouldn't recommend vowing to never go any more than I would recommend vowing to never go to Italy.
I'm ambivalent about Burning Man, although from all the photos I've seen and from everything I've heard from friends who go, I suspect that after a day and a half on the Playa I'd be bored out of my skull. But I guess the real reason I don't go is that I'd rather spend my precious vacation time traveling by myself around, say, Central America or Sub-Saharan Africa and experiencing something that's truly different from the white San Francisco culture I live in.
you are soooo lame and clearly have no idea what burningman is about. that is all.
[...] things you think you should like doing. So not, in my case, things like “practicing yoga” or “going to Burning Man” or “eating [...]
Yeah why can't i just not want to go? I'm open to it…I'm just not interested
I express myself just fine…I don't feel repressed, I have no burning (pun intended) need to go…what's to get??? Some of us are happy doing what we are doing, expressing ourselves the way we do and living…it would be like me telling me people that same line when I invite them to a kirtan… if they aren't interested fine…just because I get something from it doesn't mean someone else would — hell it doesn't even mean they NEED to get something at all…
Whoa.
Let's keep it nice, ya'll, agree to disagree.
I love this account. Thank you so much for sharing. Super courageous and well-spoken point of view! Sometimes, if you really want to be DIFFERENT and YOURSELF, it means not doing what everyone else thinks is "different."
thanks this was very illuminating as to what theexperience is like.
don't know why you didn't do enough research to realize you needed goggles and a gas mask…
not exactly shocked she works in yoga and lives in marin county…what a bore!
Yes! Thank you for expressing this. At a certain point in your life I think you let go of the insecure need to "try everything once." The more I get to know myself and trust myself, the more I can intuit what's for me and what isn't. Sounds like you and I are kin.