Musings from a newly bald woman…
What an interesting few weeks. Last weekend I got to go home to colorado to celebrate my twin son’s 21st birthday and in honour of that grand celebration we did something rather unorthodox…My daughter-in-law suggested a few months ago that instead of gifts we celebrate the boys birthday by holding a fundraiser; specifically a fund raiser for the St. Baldrick’s Foundation…(it’s OK if you don’t recognize it..I had to look it up!) But it is an amazing group focused on funds for childhood cancer research… Check out the links to learn more and to donate.
So my mind was already on the idea of Vairagya after the big “shave”
Vairagya/Non-attachment: The essential companion is non-attachment (1.15), learning to let go of the many attachments, aversions, fears, and false identities that are clouding the true Self.
I mean seriously I had just “let go” of my hair right? Alas, lessons usually come in groups… You see although I had “lost” my hair, I had “won” admiration. This was not my intent, however, it does ease the path when people admire or compliment what you have done; it felt as if the sacrifice wasn’t one at all. Excellent really, I can continue to help raise money for an outstanding cause,YOU CAN HELP BY DONATING HERE:!!!
ttp://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/participantid/410553I connect on a visceral level with a tenet of yoga and I come out feeling awesome…sounds like a win, win, win. Maybe in losing we win? (my god waylon that is a tritism that hope doesn’t make you sick )But the week’s not over yet. I almost hestitate to tell you, seriously beginning to question my “non” accident prone persona, but my car had an accident this week. You read that correctly, MY CAR had an accident – all by it’s little lonesome. Genie (that’s the car’s name) decide it would be fun to take a roll without me apparently. So, there I am, just me and my dog Asimov (yes, as in Isaac) driving back to Az from Colorado, and we stop for fuel and a rest break in Monticello, Utah. Do you know what’s in Monticello, Utah??? …. a gas station, a hotel, and apparently a tree (and surprisingly a really adorable restaurant that had an awesome Vegan Hummus Spinach Wrap, go figure… Peace Tree Juice Cafe)Anywhoo, back to genie’s misadventures. Asi and I walk a few feet from the car while she fuels, so poor
Asi can stretch his legs (poor guy is car sick ) and I hear the clank of the gas pump hitting the ground, it takes me a few beats to0 long to react (I am a bit tired) and then like the scene from a bad buddy cop film I turn around to watch my car roll out of the gas station parking lot — across a four lane Utah highway —- down a gentle slop —- and run headon into a fully loaded apricot tree. Upon running to her side I smell the anti-freeze and hear the pop and sizzle of a busted radiator and the dying sounds of a car that is so NOT driving me the rest of the way home tonight. Really? Really? I just stand there, and apricots fall on my newly shaved head and clunk against the roof of the car. And for one moment everything stops, my heart seizes and I feel panic start to well up, eyes brimming up ….it’s about to be a full out freak out. But then, I smile, I breathe…heck I laugh; and the panic passes. I just stand there making a plan…Fast forward, car is towed, husband comes to pick me up yada yada yada …what does this have to do with Vairagya?? I had lost my panic mode… No seriously you don’t know me that well, you can’t imagine the gale force of a full blown Aminda panic attack; they are actually somewhat infamous (and not so pretty) and something I have actually been working on cleaning up…And here it was a moment to put into play what I had been practicing; and it worked! Yeah Yoga right??? But you do, you win some, you lose some.what I realized standing on the side of highway 191 is that the part of me the no longer felt the need to completely freak out was also the part of me that used to take many things by storm. In the past I might have freaked but I probably would have done something like hitch hiked home to avoid inconveniencing anyone and to get home sooner. So I gained a calmer me…all the way around. I suppose that’s safer? Maybe smarter? But I think I miss the freak a little, the dare devil….and I think that was my lesson that you have to be willing to detach not only from “things” and “outcomes” but even from “identities” . I am not the same rebel I once was and although she will be missed I am OK moving into who I am becoming. Are you?This week I invite you to consider what identities and stories you are carrying around that might be keeping you from a new horizon? What can you release so that you can make space for something else? What bold statement can you make that says HEY I’m not afraid, I’m enough…as I am TODAY?Asana(yoga pose) of the week:Urdhva Dhanurasana Wheel PoseMantra:inhale: embrace exhale: releaseFitness Tip of the week:Just to keep you guessing…so the theme is about letting go of attachment…so your fitness tip is to set a goal outside of yourself. Make your fitness be about something bigger than you a marathon fund raiser, a yoga class for a cause…set the goal but let the outcome be about the project and not your fitness and watch the fitness come anyway, and often with less strain, boredome or worry…It’s fitness with a joy perk!