Why I Married Myself

Via on Sep 23, 2010

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”- The Buddha

Marriage is about promises: promises to love, cherish and care for the other person, promises to support them in their dreams and help them in their endeavors, promises to pick them up when they fall down and carry them when the waves of life crash too high. We watch as two people speak these promises and bind themselves in the words that will soon become action, asking us to bear witness to the moment that two become one. On Tuesday, September 21 I officially made these promises and found myself married to myself.

Yes, yes, you read that correctly: I married myself (even went out and bought myself a ring!). Marriage, I realize, is an age-old sacrament entered into by two people who love one another and want to show that love. Yeah, I read the story books and I know what perfect is supposed to look like, but perfect and I got into a nasty knife fight during high school and things were never the same between us.

I found myself pondering this idea early on Tuesday morning and acting it out later that afternoon. I knew when I started this (amazing) idea that I would get varied responses to it and well, I sure did: some people thought it was a joke, others believed it was amazing, and still others wondered if I had completely lost my mind or was narcissistic enough to do this. I got phone calls, emails, Facebook comments and Tweets galore. Who knew that an act meant as a serious choice could end up causing such a commotion?

I didn’t do this to receive some sort of curious attention or to entertain others. While this act is probably a very entertaining thought, I did have very committed and well contemplated ideas behind it. I wanted to propose these same promises to myself that others make to one another while draped in white and smiles. I wanted to promise myself that I will love who I am and strive to create a better person within myself, that I will always support my dreams and efforts (even if they seem crazy) and that no matter how hard life gets I will always be determined enough to pull myself out from the sea of insanity and sit silently on the shore. I needed to promise myself that even though others may wander from me that I would stand strong in myself and always believe in my cause.

I have spent too many years trying to control my life and I have learned that the harder you grasp at the sand the faster it slips through your fingers. I tried in vain to lead a life I thought was good enough for others and found myself severely unhappy. I have suffocated under stress that was unnecessary and suffered from the desires of my mind. It is time to take life and find happiness, joy, and spiritual fulfillment for myself; to reach out for my hand and firmly believe that I will find what I seek.

I placed a ring on my finger and silently promised myself that it would not move until I have found that which I seek. I suppose, in a way, this is my Bodhi tree and I am not going to move from it until I find that which I seek. Plus, I might get to have a reception and realistically…what is better than cake and presents?

About Brianna Ecklid

Brianna Ecklid will be outlived by her dictator-turned-cat Bruce Lee. She has a slight addiction to Red Vines, soft yarn, and American History but has an unnatural hate of cupcakes. She lives in the literal middle of nowhere and some time fears that using a mason jar as a glass is the first step she took down the road to redneck. Most days you can find her writing, reading or with her hands in the dirt. Oh, and she probably watches sci-fi and quotes LOTR too much. You can email, or check out her twitter (@absentbree).

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15 Responses to “Why I Married Myself”

  1. tea margvelashvili says:

    congratulations,here is to taking our hands and standing for ourselves and believing that we will find everything that we seek.i am inspired,thank u

  2. cbhananda says:

    A wonderful plan and I really enjoy the way you express yourself. "[P]erfect and I got into a nasty knife fight during high school. . . ." Oh yeah!

  3. Reader says:

    I love this! Especially in a world where even though people are married they not only don't uphold the promise they made to their partner, they are withholding greatness from themselves. Good for you! It's always cool to be reminded that you are worth the same promise that you might give to another. Thank you!

  4. Kert Hubin says:

    Love it! Well written. While not a knife, I also got into a cat fight with Perfect when I was younger. I hope it works out for you two kids!

  5. Chris L. says:

    Wonderful idea and action. This caught my eye because at age 50 I realized I did not like, much less love myself. Five years later it is still a daily chore to love myself. We are not shown the way to loving ourselves in this society where the focus is so heavily on the external.

  6. Shallan says:

    I love this article! I did this in a not so formal, or as aware, way a few years back. Such a powerful statement. Thank you for articulating this path.

  7. tamara says:

    Love this!!!! Good on you! I am going to meditate on this very notion tonight. Thanks for your inspiration. xo

  8. lil says:

    Brilliant! I am thinking about getting a group of my girls together to bear witness to each of us marrying ourselves. Then – a fabulous party!!!!

  9. Christyn says:

    I love you & your ideas.

  10. swati jr* says:

    i married my self a number of years ago. without a ring. and of course sans patriarchal cliches. i now see my birthday as my annual anniversary of self devotion. i am so glad you posted this article! thanks!!

  11. KatMiles says:

    Beautiful. Thank you for posting. What a wonderful reminder to renew my vows…to myself.

  12. Zac says:

    I like this" I wanted to promise myself that I will love who I am and strive to create a better person within myself, that I will always support my dreams and efforts." Really brilliant thoughts
    Same to me, being encouraged and motivated by another myself from the bottom of the heart to have a change by struggling and fighting….

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  15. alice says:

    I am going to get engage to myself next year with a ring. I realized, if I really want something I can achieve it.

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