We know we’re screwed, but at least we have a sense of humor about it.
Published by McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern:
BY MICHAEL LACHER
By now you’re probably wondering what this is all about, why FBI agents pulled you out of your barista job, threw you on a helicopter, and brought you to NASA headquarters. There’s no time, so I’ll shoot it to you straight. You’ve seen the news reports. What hit New York wasn’t some debris from an old satellite. There’s an asteroid the size of Montana heading toward Earth and if it hits us, the planet is over. But we’ve got one last-ditch plan. We need a team to land on the surface of the asteroid, drill a nuclear warhead one mile into its core, and get out before it explodes. And you’re just the liberal arts major we need to lead that team….
Read the rest on McSweeney’s site.
Chloe Chatenever lives in Boulder, CO where she is interning with elephantjournal.com and Sweet Letter Press. She is a recent graduate of the University of California, Santa Cruz where she earned her Bachelor’s in Modern Literary Studies. She likes to spend her free time traveling, singing in her car, and playing board games. She also thinks penguins are pretty cool.
hot on elephant
Learn to Rock your Social Media & Write Mindfully with Waylon Lewis & Elephant’s Editors. 1 share A letter to the Anger that refuses to Leave Me. 1,461 share 2017 is The Year of Kali, Goddess of Endings & Beginnings. 43,932 shares The True Meaning of Friday the 13th (isn’t what we think). 5,286 shares The Technique that helps me make Decisions under Pressure (& has Saved my Life More than Once). 564 shares I’m Done being your Dirty Little Secret. 982 shares Use This Buddhist Practice to Overcome Self-Doubt. 472 shares Ten Things I’ve Learned from Not Getting Wasted. 1,362 share 3 Seconds: “Joe Biden’s reaction to President Obama awarding him the Presidential Medal of Freedom (with distinction).” 1,164 share Why Some Loves feel Unfinished, even After we’ve Let Go. 639 shares