Sex & the Mindful Life. ~ Waylon Lewis

Via on Dec 18, 2010

We talk about sex all the time on elephant.

That said, our “sexy” category accounts for 5% of our total articles. Still, I’m proud that elephant isn’t afraid to get sexy. Sex is a great part of life—it’s vital to it, quite literally, of course. But given America’s puritanical roots, I understand that sex is a two-sided coin. On the one hand, it’s hot: we get great traffic whenever we write about sex. On the other hand, it’s scary: we get negative comments whenever we write about sex.

We want it; we’re afraid of it.

But in between these two extremes—the middle way—lies the truth. Last night, I had dinner at a Chinese restaurant with one of our young, lovely sex columnists and two of her friends and my ladypal. Ella talked about sex in an educational context, in a frank, explicit and fun way. It’s not a big deal to her—and yet she’s devoted her life to talking about it (and, she’s even training to be a doula).

So I hope that elephant can continue to offer dialogue about sexuality in a non-objectifying and yet thoroughly helpful and sexy manner. If you’d like to help us do so, email us with your article idea. Seen a video or photo or subject you’d like to blog up? Just contact us.

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7 Responses to “Sex & the Mindful Life. ~ Waylon Lewis”

  1. AlpineLily says:

    I found this to be ridiculously hypocritical! Last week you called women SLUTS for taking pole-dance classes for fun with their friends, but then turn around in this post and say "I hope that elephant can continue to offer dialogue about sexuality in a non-objectifying and yet thoroughly helpful and sexy manner" SERIOUSLY?

    How come the "sexy articles" only ever use women in their pictures? Seems a little one sided, do us girls not like looking at sexy guys?

    Or is it more that it isn't about "mindful" sex that includes everyone and just about using those images… of women to attract readers?

    • elephantjournal says:

      The photo above was chosen by the confident, talented female intern who posted this article–not myself. Many of our sexy articles, probably close to 50%, show a man with a woman or a man on his own or a LGBT couple.

      As for your "sluts" charge, I understand that you found it difficult to read beyond the title to the article before judging me, so here's the link again for your convenience: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/12/groupon-un… I was actually making fun of our frat boy culture…a culture that's bled over into female empowerment. I think we might be on the same "side."

      Let's please not mistaking "disagree" with a need to be "disagreeable." That's too easy. We can dialogue with respect, can't we? ~ Waylon

  2. AlpineLily says:

    I did read the article, in fact I read it multiple times as I had mentioned in my original response on that specific artice last Sunday and still disagreed with the use of the word slut. Here is the link to remind you since you have apparently forgotten? http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/elephantjourn

    As for who picked the photo- having a be another women isn't suddenly going to change my mind. Not ever women has the same opinons and honestly, there are many women who for various reasons do not mind the objectification or are blind to it even happening around/to them.

    • elephantjournal says:

      Perhaps because, in lieu of aggressively judging others, they're secure and joyful in themselves. ~ Waylon

  3. Ella Lauser Ella says:

    Being a bit of a controversy slut (or maybe just a Prince fan? if you're not catching the reference, then: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1mdgg_prince-co….

    The word slut is a tad funky, not sure if I agree with getting in touch with our inner sluts by joining a pole dancing class either (agreeing with Waylon here) although I have been to a class to check it out. The visual I get for the word slut is gluttony and I can (and often do) relate this to realms outside of sex- i.e. gnocchi slut, vegetarian foodie slut, artesian water slut, Bed Bath & Beyond slut, MacBook slut, netflix slut.

    I like the word courtesan for the aforementioned article, dancing like a whore doesn't imply that you are one and dancing provocatively (with or pole or no) doesn't imply you're a whore/slut either. The word slut often feels like a slap so I get Alpine Lily's heated reaction and yet getting caught up in semantics has led us away from the content of the article (and its overall message and consideration).

    As for photographs, I blog about sex and select images that I feel cover the basis of the question being asked or the point I'm making. There are more photos of women on my site, admittedly, because mostly women are asking questions and are the subject of the post. As a member of the photography world, I find the image of a woman's body to be more aesthetically pleasing and I discuss this in a post about nudity and art. I'm curious to hear what your thoughts are Alpine, as many models have come forward (intelligently) to express their concerns and insights. Here's the link: http://goaskella.com/question-of-the-week/posing-….

    Lastly, Waylon thank you for this post. It's true that sex is a hot topic and often in the moments before clicking "publish" I wonder what buttons I'm going to trigger for people with my conversation but I figure it's better to air it out then to let it fester.

  4. Hariot says:

    Thanks AlpineLily. I agree.

  5. Donovan says:

    slut, bitch, whore. If these words offend you, then you need to re-think your core beliefs about reality as opposed to words being reality.

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