How to Be Bigger Than Your Suffering: Lessons From a Buddhist Monk. ~ Maia Duerr

Via on Jun 6, 2011


Photo: Exile on James Street

You are not alone in your pain.

An invitation to accept and overcome.

Your old car is on the verge of dying and you have no money to replace it. Your girlfriend just left you for someone new. You’re dying of boredom at your job, or at least that’s what it feels like.

Now I don’t want to be one of those annoying people who says, “Hey, you think you’ve got it bad…” But I do want to share a story that might help you put it all into a new perspective.

This is the story of Maha Ghosanada, an amazing monk from Cambodia who has a lot to teach us about suffering—and liberation from suffering.

Maha Ghosananda has been called the “Gandhi of Cambodia” and the “Buddha of the Battlefields.” He was born in 1929 into a poor peasant family in the southern part of Cambodia. Even back then, there was great suffering in Cambodia. In the wake of the Depression and World War II, Khmer nationalism began to stir, bringing with it social upheaval, riots and terrorism.

At a young age, Maha Ghosanada became a novice Buddhist monk and studied at monastic universities in Phnom Pen and Battambang.

In 1969, the U.S. began bombing Cambodia and the country became engulfed in civil war and social disintegration. Once the Khmer Rouge took power, Buddhist monks were denounced as part of the feudalistic power structures of the past.

Maha Ghosananda, who was in a Thai forest hermitage during this time, was one of the few monks to survive the brutal torture and murders that followed. Nearly 2 million Cambodians—almost one-quarter of the entire population—were killed between 1975 and 1979.

Maha Ghosananda’s entire family and many friends were murdered by the Khmer Rouge. In 1978, he left his forest hermitage to minister to Cambodian refugees who came across the Thai-Cambodia border.

In spite of—or maybe because of—this unimaginable tragedy, Maha Ghosanda continued his ministry for peace on an even larger scale. He led a 125-mile Dhammayietra (pilgrimage of truth) across Cambodia in 1992 to begin restoring the hope and spirit of the Cambodian people. The Dhammayietra continues to this day.

I was lucky enough to meet Maha Ghosananda once, in 2004 at a Buddhist Peace Fellowship conference not far from one of his communities in Western Massachusetts. (This was a few years before he died in 2007.)

The moment he entered the room, the more than 150 people in attendance suddenly fell silent. Though he never said a word, he was an incredibly powerful presence. As he bowed to all of us, a palpable wave of joy spread throughout the room.

For many years now this quote from Maha Ghosananda has been hanging over my desk. I never fail to be moved by it:

The suffering of Cambodia has been deep.
From this suffering comes Great Compassion.
Great Compassion makes a
Peaceful Heart.
A Peaceful Heart makes a Peaceful Person.
A Peaceful Person makes a Peaceful Family.
A Peaceful Family makes a Peaceful Community.
A Peaceful Community makes a Peaceful Nation.
A Peaceful Nation makes a Peaceful World.
May all beings live in Happiness and Peace.

An Invitation

As you consider the suffering in your own life, try asking yourself how it connects you in an intimate way to other beings. You are not alone in your pain. See if you can look beyond your own situation to see that others—perhaps in your family, your neighborhood, your community—suffer as well. Rather than getting drowned by your anguish, see if you can find a way to transform it into beneficial action for others.

Please realize I’m not asking you to be a Nobel Peace Prize nominee here. This can be a pretty simple thing. Try going outside yourself just a bit. Here are three ideas:

1. Volunteer in the community soup kitchen one afternoon. The best time to do this is not around the holidays, when so many other people give their time, but one of those other days of the year when help is really needed.

2. Send a letter to someone in your family whom everyone else forgets. Yes, I’m talking a real letter, not an email! Take enough time to include all the things you appreciate about that person.

3. Learn about someone who is struggling to survive and then send a small donation to help. Here’s one example: this story of a woman in Haiti who was trapped by falling rubble during the 2010 earthquake and has suffered with severe neck pain and been unable to walk. You can donate to Partners in Health to support this woman and many like her.

In each case, you’ll have contact with someone who is also suffering and you’ll be reminded that we’re all in this together. Perhaps, like Maha Ghosananda, you’ll find your way out the other side of suffering where it transforms into compassion. And you’ll have also done something to help lighten a fellow human being’s load just a little bit.

Maia Duerr is dedicated to liberation of all kinds. Two of her vehicles for doing that are The Liberated Life Project and The Jizo Chronicles. She also loves hanging out with her dog and eating green chile in her hometown of Santa Fe, NM.

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7 Responses to “How to Be Bigger Than Your Suffering: Lessons From a Buddhist Monk. ~ Maia Duerr”

  1. Lisa says:

    Maia, as always you carry a deep wisdom and practical advice. Thank you so much for sharing all of this!

  2. I love this and I am sharing. Thanks

  3. Mushim says:

    Beautifully written, and I particularly like the comment about volunteering in a soup kitchen at a non-holiday time of year. Regarding "The moment he entered the room, the more than 150 people in attendance suddenly fell silent. Though he never said a word, he was an incredibly powerful presence." — I have the counterpart story. This was probably 20 years or so ago, when Thich Nhat Hanh was giving a talk in a huge theater in downtown Berkeley. There were literally thousands of people standing outside waiting for the doors to open as I approached, and suddenly I see Mahaghosananda and an attendant monk standing on the curb. It was kind of a cold day and they looked cold and a little under-dressed for the weather, plus the elderly monk didn't have anywhere to sit and who knows how long he'd been standing there. Not knowing what else to do, I ran up and placed my palms together and bowed repeatedly. Mahaghosananda smiled politely, and I went to the back of the line. It depressed me a little that no one around him seemed to recognize him, and there seemed to be no provision for elderly persons or people with disabilities who could not stand in place or who were sensitive to cold to sit down while waiting or be admitted before others.

    • Maia Duerr says:

      Mushim, thank you for sharing this story about Mahaghosananda in Berkeley… how sad that no one else appreciated this great man who was present out there in the cold. And also that the courtesy of offering some kind of accommodation to the elderly and disable wasn't in place.

      On another note, the EJ editors changed the original links in my article and removed one to Partners in Health which I feel is important (mentioned in the third item on the list at the bottom of the post). So here it is: http://www.pih.org/blog/entry/helping-patients-in… PIH is a wonderful organization to support, if anyone is feeling inspired to take action after reading this article.

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