- People might think you enjoy your body.
- They might be judgmental
- Or jealous
- Or curious
- They might want to talk with you about it.
- And you probably don’t want to talk about it,
- They might laugh at you, out of their own discomfort.
- They might assume you’re lonely, sad, a loser.
- You might have to be honest.
10. Because what would happen if we all started talking about it?
And discovered that we can speak gently, respectfully, thoughtfully on the topic. We can listen and be curious and discover that our fears and our delights are common and understandable, that our bodies are beautiful and unimaginable, that we are alive and we are wonderful.
I’ll tell you what would happen: we would all sigh a great sigh of relief, of pleasure, of possibility. We’d talk about how it is okay to touch ourselves, to have sexy and strange fantasies, to be safe and slow with ourselves. We would support each other. We wouldn’t be weird with each other. We’d celebrate that pleasure is ours to give ourselves and offer to others, that we don’t need to buy it at the store or beg for it at the bar. We’d start going on dates with ourselves more often. We’d start giggling uncontrollably for the joy of this topic finally being on the table with our friends we trust, with our partners we love.
Maybe you don’t want to talk about it. Oh, how fine this is. Maybe you don’t want to masturbate. Also, so okay. But maybe you just want to know it is okay, women do it, men do it.
I do it. I love it.
Maybe you will just feel better knowing the conversation is out there, is possible.
That is all I hope for…to begin a conversation about how giving ourselves pleasure is not only not shameful it is worthy of celebration, of song, of widespread sharing.
Enjoying our own bodies is a birthright.
Iris Henn is a teacher and writer. Her favorite blogs include All is Listening: Tools and Tales for Breaking Up, Waking Up, and Falling in Love, Cleavage and Unabashedly Female.