Why I Stopped Swearing & Will Never be Thrown Off an Airplane. ~ Carole Borges

Via on Jul 20, 2011
Photo: Green Colander

It was back in the Sixties, during my Jolly Road commune days, a time when a passion for liberation from past ideals flamed across America. Woman’s Lib. Free love. The destruction of the nuclear family, and language, of course.

Photo: Lily Nymph

Cursing was cool, man. Cursing was hip. The word fuck, having always been taboo, quickly became a favorite swear word to bandy about because it showed how liberated your mouth had become. So there I was, a young long-haired hippie housewife shopping at a small country supermarket in Gardner, Mass. With three kids piled in my shopping cart and my grocery list in hand, I found myself in the meat department, depressed over the cost of chicken. The guy next to me wearing a tie-dyed T-shirt and torn jean cutoffs was flicking his long ponytail back and forth in a nervous motion, obviously sharing my consternation at the rising cost of food.

“Damn! Look at the fucking price of those fucking chickens,” I grumbled. “How are you supposed to feed you fucking family when the fucking chicken people are charging such fucking high prices?”

I was of course expecting some affirmative reply, but the guy suddenly scooted away from me, heading for the dog food aisle.  When I turned my head back to the meat department, I confronted a trio of old ladies. One of them still had her hand up to her mouth. The kind of grimace one might have if they’d just seen a chainsaw murderer loading up his fridge with body parts; the other two were gawking at my kids the way some people stare at the pictures of those pathetic souls in the Save the Children ads. Did I see tears glistening in their eyes?

Photo: Juhansonin

I had grown so accustomed to using foul language around my peers, to see that as a badge of honor showing how liberated I was, that I felt jarred by the old ladies reactions. Taking in their horror of me, I wanted to apologize, but I felt too embarrassed, so I just smiled weakly. The kids were fussing, so I turned my attention to them instead, cooing and talking in perfectly appropriate, perfect-mother tones. On my way to the register, I resolved not to continue swearing, not even in private because in that moment it dawned on me that my loose, liberated vocabulary obviously was not going to endear me to any “straight” people, and the world was full of straight people, some I was even related to. I needed straight people. I loved them. Many were, after all, perfectly good folks.

Later in life when I morphed into a college English professor, I used to tell this story to my students, hoping it would help them understand the reason we academic types demanded they use proper English in their papers.  When they wrote a good paper, my mind still said, “Far-fucking-out! Great paper!” but the editor I’d installed in my brain wouldn’t allow that to come out. Instead I’d simply gush, “Good job! Well-written. I’m very proud of you.”

Last week I read in the newspaper that some children’s author had been tossed off a plane for using foul language. Big headlines! Lots of head shaking and frowning. “What the fuck?” I thought. “Has the world really gotten that uptight?” Right after that I sighed, a big sigh of relief.  “I’m so glad I don’t swear anymore.”

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Carole A. Borges, author of Disciplining the Devil’s Country published by Alice James Books, was raised aboard a schooner on the Mississippi River in the 1950s. She learned the art of storytelling from the fishermen and river folk who lived along the banks, and also from the river itself—the stories it whispered and lessons it taught. Her poems have appeared in Poetry, Bardsong, Soundings East, Kalliope and many others. Her essays and newspaper articles appear in a variety of magazines including City View, Eva, and Knox Voice. Nationally her work has appeared in The Change Agent, Pacific Yachting and Rudder Magazine. She currently lives in North Knoxville, Tenn. She spends most of her time playing with her two dogs or working in her garden.

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11 Responses to “Why I Stopped Swearing & Will Never be Thrown Off an Airplane. ~ Carole Borges”

  1. fivefootwo says:

    Well, this was just fucking lovely. Thanks, I enjoyed reading every word!

    • Caroloe Borges says:

      LOL! Thanks pretty lady. Even though I wrote it, I still have to chuckle every time I read it!

  2. Lezlee says:

    Great post! I think it's interesting and amazing how much emotion we attach to words and how society dictates what is and is not acceptable.

  3. annieory says:

    Hold the fuck on. I am going fucking reply. First I have to get the fucking cigarettes out of the fucking car and have a fucking smoke. Then we'll fucking talk.
    Rock on Carole.
    I always told my son, there are no such things as "bad" words, but some words are offensive to some people and because we are kind we try not to be offensive within reason. Use lots of different words and you'll always have an arsenal from which to choose, specific to the situation you find yourself in.

  4. Dax says:

    Ha ha ha. Good article. I have two small children of my own and have inadvertantly sworn in front of them. I was personally appalled at myself, and have done better not to repeat that mistake. However, I think I'm even more shocked when I hear someone use the phrase "far out." Good read. Thanks, Carole.

    • Caroloe Borges says:

      I think small children find swearing especially offensive. My own are grown now and never use foul language. As my ex-husband used to say," Where did we go right?"

  5. TMC says:

    haha.. “Far-fucking-out!" ! awesome post! Hilarious!

  6. Caroloe Borges says:

    Ha ha! Those are great images! Sometimes it takes awhile!

  7. Caroloe Borges says:

    That's the true lesson Drum Guy. Many of my students came from rough neighborhoods where it was considered uncool to speak proper English. I tried to never put them down for the way they spoke, but to show them instead the way people judge you by your communication skills. Being able to select what kind of language you use is such a useful skill. Your students are obviously lucky.

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