Chögyam Trungpa: You can’t fall in love unless you’re lonely.
People can’t fall in love unless they know they are lonely and are separate individuals: if by some strange misunderstanding, you thought you were the other person already, then there would be no one for you to fall in love with. The whole idea of union is that of two being together. One and one together makes union.
In love it is the desolateness that inspires the warmth. The more you feel a sense of desolation, the more warmth you feel at the same time.
You can’t feel the warmth of a house unless it’s cold outside.
From “Loneliness” pages 139-140 of THE PATH IS THE GOAL.