Relationships, for Dummies.
Heartbreak! True Love! Throwing you clothes out the second story window! Fighting! Arguing! Affairs!
Spare me. What I’m looking for? One equal, no Drama.
Some of us are addicted to drama? Nah. Drama is what’s boring. A relationship without drama?
Can you have one without the other?
Dramayana: Trungpa Rinpoche called it Nostalgia for Samsara:
Give me wholesome cozy friendly boredom any day. Sounds delightful.
Lately, I’ve been spending a little time with a little lady who doesn’t play games. She’s straightforward, appreciative, thoughtful, honest about being stressed when she’s tired, affectionate…so far, she’s everything but high-maintenance.
And I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. And that’s sad, maybe: am I so ruined by my last “relationship” that I expect future relationships to be equally ridiculous?
Last night, we got in our first argument. It lasted about 30 seconds. It was quiet, and kind. Then, we were back to boring.
And it reminds me: most of the relationships I know—most of my friends—don’t argue. Honestly, they don’t! To people like (possibly you and defeinitely) me, that seems impossible. Sure, they’re human. I’m sure things are up and down. But they don’t resolve their feelings at the expense of others. They don’t throw dishes or raise voices. They own their moods, instead of creating Jackson Pollock like displays of their emotions all over the karmic walls of their daily lives.
And it reminds me: Romcoms, in a way, are unhealthy. Love and life isn’t about sadness and heartbreak…ups and downs…drama. It’s about friendship. With a side of attraction, humor, celebration.
Boring? I’ll take it.
For more: cool boredom.
hot on elephant
The story behind the Elephant-headed God. 306 shares Visual Yoga Blog: Refresh your Eyes the Yoga Way. 159 shares Boomers vs. Millennials: Will We stay the Course or Change It? 363 shares Instead of Sabotaging another Relationship, here’s how to Run into your Fear. 951 shares Join: Elephant’s Winter 2017 Academy. 2 shares The Benching Mind-F*ck: Worse than Ghosting. 1,170 share 5 Ways to Kiss & Make Up for your Mercury Retrograde Mishaps. 494 shares “I’d look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers.” 1,124 share 15 Cool Things Yoga has Taught Me. (Hint: None of them are Handstand.) 2,392 shares How we can Rewrite our Stories after Loving a Narcissist. 1,073 share