An examination of the feminine side of the equation of being a man.
I recently read an article by Arjuna Ardagh titled “Why it is Wise to Worship Women.” He talks about the importance of understanding the power of a woman through his reverent relationship towards his wife. He then guides readers to follow certain steps that will manifest such a partnership. I found myself agreeing with everything he said. What caught my attention was not his timeless message, but instead the comments of his readers, Many of which were very upset.
Some argued worshipping was placing more value on the other, creating an unequal relationship. Others were distressed over Ardagh’s claims that he had found love. Still more were displeased with the idea of following his guidelines. With all the differences in discontent, the common theme I took away from Ardagh’s Web 2.0 debate was fear.
Of course, this fear manifested in various forms, but all of it spoke to the fear of change. We have been accustomed to a certain paradigm of thought for the entirety of the known human existence. This frame of thought is defined as masculine. Throughout history, culture has time and time again shown dissent from the feminine, placing value in masculine subjectivity. Science invalidates wisdom, technology trumps tradition, and information eclipses intuition. The world has, for quite some time, leaned solely one-way: towards the direct nature of man.
So it should have been of no surprise to witness such defensive backlash and justification against the points Ardagh made. Yet, I was still shocked. So many people, as articulate as they had come across, were just hiding their fear of accepting a new paradigm of femininity. Holding onto whatever rules they created or ideas they subscribed to, many missed the entire point of the article.
In worshipping the feminine, we are not destroying, devaluing or undermining masculinity. We are empowering it. Certain limitations are obvious in either solely feminine or solely masculine thought, but, as a man, I can only speak of my own. Intuition, surrendering, acceptance and unconditional love are all hard-pressed areas for men. As Ardagh pointed out, there is much a man can learn from a woman. In the process of adoration, man surrenders his faults and learns to foster his missing half, his femininity.
In today’s society, it is extremely rare that one try to cultivate one’s wholeness through learning about the other sex. Restricted by taboo, constructs of sexuality and other societal pressures, many live their life not understanding who they fully are. In many cases these imbalances lead to emotional instabilities, conditions and blockages.
As a man in search of his femininity, I have come to understand that all of the answers to my problems such as anger, control and ultimately fear are resolved in surrendering to the matriarchal knowledge. In this realm, there is strength unlike anything I have ever experienced. It is powerful, assertive and understanding. It is not dominant or overbearing. Its completeness is sound and comforting. It is rare that I experience such a moment, but when I do it is as if I have found the lost pieces to the puzzle of me.
I understand many are skeptical and fearful of learning to change. I was subject to all the same pressure placed upon exploring my femininity. One such fear was the idea of losing my masculinity. In society, exploring my womanhood would be the “gayest” thing to do. Yet, what I found was I grew more confident in my identity as a man the more I understood what it was like to be a woman.
I, of course, am still unraveling this discovery and will most likely be doing so for the remainder of my life. I am not sure it is something that ever ends, much like our experience as a soul. What I do know is that I have been able to find inner peace and greater self-love through worshiping the women in my life. Many say that the lives we live are chosen by our souls in order to learn a specific lesson. I believe that the all men are souls determined to understand the language of the woman, bringing wholeness to their existence.