10 Things You’ll Never Hear at Lululemon. ~ Mallory Ortberg

Via on Feb 22, 2012

Hot tip! A fun article via our friends at Ecosalon.

Excerpt, then jump over there:

…Where wicking and Objectivism collide.

What’s not to love about a company that manages to combine subliminal messaging with a strong social message? Here, in no particular order, are a series of statements you’re unlikely to overhear at everyone’s favorite purveyor of hundred-dollar hoodies.

“Yes, but do I need a separate sweat-wicking infinity scarf for jogging and Zumba?”

“What a coincidence! Atlas Shrugged inspired me to take up yoga, too. Did you know that “namaste” is the Sanskrit word for Objectivism?”…

…Read the rest at ecosalon.com.

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10 Responses to “10 Things You’ll Never Hear at Lululemon. ~ Mallory Ortberg”

  1. Vision_Quest2 says:

    Just for the record, the famous Marilyn Monroe quote … "I'll take something in a size 14" has been uttered at times by me.

    So, nobody ever hears that at a Lululemon store?

    Yet ANOTHER reason I've never shopped at a Lululemon and I guess I never will … no matter what my size is at the time … (and for a few years it's been consistently less than 14)

  2. lek says:

    That model is going to hurt her knee…..

  3. Claire says:

    This is a pathetic excuse for an article. The very computer you wrote it on is only here thanks to the terrible "balls-out capitalism" you so despise.

  4. CT says:

    Wow, how edgy. Making fun of Lululemon. Again. Making crass comments about the murder as if it were somehow sanctioned by the store, rather than a senseless and unfortunate act by one woman.

    I decided to at least give Ecosalon another chance, so I also clicked through this article to also read one about the “Types of People Who Go To Yoga.”

    “There is the Orgasmic Omer, belonging to the woman who has apparently never had her pelvis opened up the old-fashioned way”

    Wow. Is everything on this site so judgmental and shallow? I guess that’s one corner of the Internet I don’t have to bother with.

    P.S. And yes, that model — who isn’t wearing Lululemon, so I don’t know who she’s supposed to represent or if she’s the author or what — needs to get her foot off her knee. Case in point that more education about proper alignment and placement in asana would be a much more useful article than slagging Lululemon.

  5. West says:

    I love LLL, buy their stuff, and think this article is very funny! I think it says less about LLL and more about the ABUNDANCE of Yoginis who practice Yoga just so they can sport their latest clothing they bought.

    I had one Yogini come to my class wearing an entire purple LLL outfit, multiple pieces of jewelry, and the JF Purple Manduka Mat. Probably had over $500 worth of stuff for my $10 Yoga Class! I just had to smile and say Namaste.

  6. Tanya Lee Markul Tanya Lee Markul says:

    Just posted to "Popular Lately" on the Elephant Yoga homepage.

    Posting to Elephant Yoga on Facebook and Twitter.

    Tanya Lee Markul, Yoga Editor
    Join us! Like Elephant Yoga on Facebook
    Follow on Twitter

  7. [...] beads sometimes. I love my TOMS. I love a lot of the “yoga girl” trappings (PrAna, not Lululemon, sil vous plait). And more importantly—I practice most days. I usually take one or two days off a [...]

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