Recently I experienced one of the most devastating events in life: heartbreak. One day I was happily married and madly in love with my husband, and the next day I was moving out of the home we had shared and filing for divorce. During the first month my head was spinning. I couldn’t eat, my heart hurt more than I thought humanly possible and my soul ached for answers. I felt lost and it seemed that there was no way out of the darkness. I was afraid that I was going to be lost forever.
I needed to dig deep to find my strength and to pull myself out. One day, in the midst of an uncontrollable fit of crying, I sat down and wrote myself a letter. This letter has served as my road-map through this trying time and has helped me to regain my sense of balance and self.
Now that some time has passed, I feel compelled to share my letter with others in the hopes that it will help them to find their center again, begin to pick up the pieces and rebuild. Heartbreak truly is one of the worst pains that we can suffer. There is a light at the end of the tunnel- the pain will not last forever.
Dear Heartbroken Person:
Stay strong and take care of yourself. Love yourself and know your worth. Feel the moment even if it makes you cry, you need to. Accept help but don’t feel sorry for yourself. Know your limits so you can set clear boundaries. Be sure to get some sleep and eat well. Exercise and seek out friends. Be extra kind to yourself taking measures not judge yourself for mistakes. Don’t ever beg you’re worth more than that. Try not to give more than you can handle. Remain open to love it hasn’t abandoned you. Stay in the present, the future is in front of you not in your head. Know who your friends are and keep them close. Mourn fully and without apology take it one day at a time. Breathe breathe breathe. Find comfort in the small things and accept generosity.
Ask for help, you are not alone. Don’t over do it. Watch funny movies. Don’t seek comfort in the past because you will not find it there. Expect miracles, they only happen if you believe in them. Reach out to help others when you are sure you have helped yourself. Don’t blame yourself. Be honest with yourself and know that these things take time. Be clear when thinking about what you want for yourself but don’t decide too quickly. Meditate everyday and practice gratitude, this life is beautiful. You will get through this believe me, I believe in you.
Edited for elephant journal by Jennifer Cusano
Leah is currently studying psychology at Texas State University in San Marcos. She is a Shambhala Buddhist, a poet, a lover, a friend, a sister, a daughter, and a tender hearted warrior. If you’re looking for her, you will find her studying at a coffee shop, at brunch with friends, or at Town Lake with her sweet pup Hobo.
hot on elephant
The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. A Letter to my Children: You do not come from a Broken Home. These People are Rare Gems—Keep Them, Fight for Them, don’t Give Up on Them. Mom, can I Call her Mom, Too? Jon Stewart makes first appearance since retiring—”it’s not your country.” Waylon shares 10 transformingly beautiful Quotes about Love. 40 Things I’ve Learned in 40 Years. Why your Yoga Goals are (Probably) Irrelevant, if not Downright Dangerous. Dear Woman in the White Car at Margaritas Mexican Grill in West Memphis, Arkansas on July 15th, 2012. How I Raise My Dying Son.