What would it look like if we were honest on the 1st Date? Funny, Rude Video.

Via on Mar 20, 2012

Sex on the First Date? Let’s get Honest. {NSFW}

A friend of mine, we’ll call him Michael Ramsey (that’s his name) has talked for years about having a dating contract, so people could be really clear and up front about their expectations, fears, desires, questions before dating. I think he created something.

Another friend, Ted Rose, has done something along those lines, but I don’t know much about it.

Honesty and dating, and never the twain shall meet.

It’s not that dating is dishonest, for most folks—but generally folks play games, shadows against the wall, until and if everything works out. And even then there are hidden expectations and surprises.

So let’s just get it all out there, shall we?

“I love J Date”:


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About Waylon Lewis

Waylon Lewis, founder of elephant magazine, now elephantjournal.com & host of Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis, is a 1st generation American Buddhist “Dharma Brat." Voted #1 in U.S. on twitter for #green two years running, Changemaker & Eco Ambassador by Treehugger, Green Hero by Discovery’s Planet Green, Best (!) Shameless Self-Promoter at Westword's Web Awards, Prominent Buddhist by Shambhala Sun, & 100 Most Influential People in Health & Fitness 2011 by "Greatist", Waylon is a mediocre climber, lazy yogi, 365-day bicycle commuter & best friend to Redford (his rescue hound). His aim: to bring the good news re: "the mindful life" beyond the choir & to all those who didn't know they gave a care. elephantjournal.com | facebook.com/elephantjournal | twitter.com/elephantjournal | facebook.com/waylonhlewis | twitter.com/waylonlewis | Google+ For more: publisherelephantjournalcom

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24 Responses to “What would it look like if we were honest on the 1st Date? Funny, Rude Video.”

  1. Julian Walker yogijulian says:

    oh.
    my.
    god.

  2. ItsjustMe says:

    Too funny

  3. G.C.Aloha says:

    Hilarious!

  4. karlsaliter says:

    Brilliant. "Do you do anal?" HA!

  5. [...] put it, I thought Sex must be a typo of nature. So I made my own dictionary. (Revised and unabridged, mind you, still trying to understand my handwriting). I think sex might as well be literature [...]

  6. catnipkiss says:

    Wow. Just wow………… If she wants a trip or a necklace that bad, couldn't she just find a call girl agency to work for for a few weeks and not have to put in the time with this geeky guy? and even be nice to his parents??!!

  7. [...] day I strive to throw off any camouflage and cover-ups, and false faces, and to stand as naked and honest as I can. Whether in my speech, in my publicity, in my relationships, in my art, I want to be [...]

  8. Cheryl says:

    Oh man. Funny and kinda depressing!

  9. Eeew says:

    gross. not funny.

  10. mary says:

    sorry,not only is it sad and gross and not funny but its also a bad deal, he gets anal and wont go down and yet he wont have her take a shit? im calling misogyny .

  11. Okay, so I think it's very funny. AND, the video (I hope) is purposefully pointing to the way "some" men and women think they ought to be bargaining with one another. Videos like this can help point out the absurdity of women being valued for offering sex and men being valued for offering material goods (which can feel crappy for both involved). I think that's an old and 1-dimensional way of relating that will evolve, and has already for many people.

    To me, the misogyny and misandry here are being made fun of — as in, you have to be lame to do something like that.

    • Jenn says:

      Well put . . .

    • Mems says:

      Normally I like this type of satire and I would agree with you. However, the video makes a claim of displaying the "honest"approach to dating; implying that that is the way we all think…..so I actually agree with Mary on this one.

  12. Monkey says:

    I think this is very clever.
    It's not the specific details of the arrangement in the video, it's the intent behind it… that honest, open transparency in a way that both parties are aware of the intentions of each other and come to an agreement that serves them both.

    What if we were all so transparent in our dating lives? Some people would literally be coming to this kind of agreement, and others different agreements all based on our own personal values and desires.

  13. Di says:

    I met my husband with an honest online “requirements” list. I had never been on an online dating site and figured I would “weed” out all the men I know I wouldn’t want to waste their or my time with. My ad did nothing to describe me, I put a very conservative and average photo if myself. It was a few years ago but I wrote something like:

    No addictions to cigarettes, alcohol, pot/drugs pills (legal or illegal), porn/sex, food, gambling ect.

    No psychiatric conditions including depression.

    No anger management issues including yelling, throwing things, punching walls, hitting or getting in to fights, road rage ect.

    If there is a question of your sexuality, you must desire woman only. If you live with your mother/father (unless they are in your house). If you blame the world or others for your problems.

    If you always hate your job or don’t have one.

    If you do not take care of your health/body. If you do not nurture your mind/spirit.

    If you are an atheist.

    However if you are hardworking, have a career that you enjoy, believe you are responsible for yourself and your kids (if applicable), are secure in yourself, emotionally mature, are not threatened by independence and respect women.

    I actually got some hate mail from some addicts and alcoholics! Anyway I met a few really nice men for coffee and spoke to my husband for a couple of weeks (he was out of state visiting family) before we met for dinner. I knew that night he was a keeper (I really was only looking for a dance partner). I knew by the third date he was the type of man I would marry. I knew in two weeks I was falling in love. We now have a 3 month old, a blended family and a wonderful life together. Honesty worked for us!!

  14. Jen says:

    Funny. Who knows, however. In real life, if we overreact to every doubt or uncertainty, maybe we block the magic too. Maybe pretense helps us stay open, at first. Sometimes we find a love or situation is better than we assumed.

  15. wishiwascamping says:

    I appreciate the "honesty", but I think this video is sexist and stereotypes men and women into gross boxes

  16. Chelsea says:

    Fabulous! I am cracking!

  17. Paul says:

    Lighten up people. It's a joke.

  18. Amy E says:

    I am all for total honesty. If you don't have the facts, you can't make an informed decision. It's the fair thing to do, for both. Personally, I think it would be hilarious!!!

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