10 Reasons Why Fifty Shades of Grey should never Tie any Self-Respecting Woman Down.

Via on May 23, 2012

Why are so many women turned on by dominance?

Excerpt, Fifty Shades of Grey:

“Christian is standing over me grasping a plaited, leather riding crop.

He’s wearing old, faded, ripped Levis and that’s all. He flicks the crop slowly into his palm as he gazes down at me. He’s smiling, triumphant. I cannot move. I am BLEEP and BLEEP, BLEEP on a large four-poster bed.

Reaching forward, he trails the tip of the crop from my forehead down the length of my nose, so I can smell leather, and over my BLEEP, BLEEP lips. He pushes the BLEEP, BLEEP BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP etc…”

Every month, elephant inherits a few angry comments from readers who hate the fact that we write about sex (a lot). We get nasty comments vilifying us for sins like “objectification.”

…And then, today, and yesterday, and last week, and the week before…I hear from my interns, Kate our editor, Kate our editor again, and—you know—millions of women that they’re all reading, loving, and—you know—getting off on some dehumanizing trashy bdsm “porn for mommies” novel called…

“Fifty Shades of Grey,” the erotic novel by E L James, features cliche characters, highly implausible plot turns and dialogue that alternately induces cringes and giggles. (Sample line: “ ‘Look at me,’ he breathes, and I stare into his smoldering gaze . . . cold, hard and sexy as hell, seven shades of sin in one enticing look.”)

…Another benefit of a book such as “Fifty Shades” is that it just may get your mind off work pressures, the laundry or having to make the kids’ lunches — and back into the bedroom.

Speaking of gagging…

So save yourself 10 hours: go have some mutually-respectful awesome sex with someone you love.

Or if you want to “read” some porn, god bless, go get yourself some Anais Nin. She’s amazing.

{drum roll}

But now it’s time for my list: 10 Reasons why Empowered Women should find something more Empowering to do.

Deflowering a Poorly-Written Opiate for the Masses: 10 Reasons Why Fifty Shades of Grey should never Tie any Self-Respecting Woman Down.

This list is too easy.

1. You’re a hypocrite: Shades of Grey is (I hear) a glorified airport romance novel that is so a cliché-ridden and poorly written, it gives Twihards fifty shades of self-respect.

2. By romance, I mean abusive sado-masochistic 100-years-of-feminism-f*cking fantasy.

3. Not having read the book, I’m out of ideas.

~

PS: to all you angry masochists ready to comment and say “don’t tell me what to do, young man,” don’t worry—unlike, say, Christian the Somehow-Sexy Abusive Billionaire, I’d never think of bossing a woman around. This is my kind of play.

 

About Waylon Lewis

Waylon Lewis, founder of elephant magazine, now elephantjournal.com & host of Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis, is a 1st generation American Buddhist “Dharma Brat." Voted #1 in U.S. on twitter for #green two years running, Changemaker & Eco Ambassador by Treehugger, Green Hero by Discovery’s Planet Green, Best (!) Shameless Self-Promoter at Westword's Web Awards, Prominent Buddhist by Shambhala Sun, & 100 Most Influential People in Health & Fitness 2011 by "Greatist", Waylon is a mediocre climber, lazy yogi, 365-day bicycle commuter & best friend to Redford (his rescue hound). His aim: to bring the good news re: "the mindful life" beyond the choir & to all those who didn't know they gave a care. elephantjournal.com | facebook.com/elephantjournal | twitter.com/elephantjournal | facebook.com/waylonhlewis | twitter.com/waylonlewis | Google+ For more: publisherelephantjournalcom

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106 Responses to “10 Reasons Why Fifty Shades of Grey should never Tie any Self-Respecting Woman Down.”

  1. Heath says:

    Thanks for your thoughts. One thing I’ve got noticed is always that banks as well as financial institutions understand the spending patterns of consumers while also understand that a lot of people max away their credit cards around the trips. They prudently take advantage of this fact and start floodin

  2. Thea K says:

    S&M has nothing to do with abuse, empowerment has nothing to do with wanting to be submissive in the bedroom – GOD, people! Get your shit together!

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  4. Siiiigh. says:

    As a queer woman, a feminist, and a submissive, who read all three Shades of Grey books (along with plenty of stuff like the Story of O), all I want to say is: Fifty Shades of Grey is not really about BDSM (it's about a kinky person with some emotional issues who has a basically-vanilla partner in what seems to be a fundamentally sexually-incompatible relationship – part of the reasons women LIKE this series is because the protagonist is NOT embracing of her kinky interests – if any – she's doing it for her partner); it's nothing new (check out literotica.com if you want to know what women do instead of watching porn); BDSM is not inherently sexist and un-feminist (oh, and guess what? sometimes it doesn't even involve men! or hetereosexuals!); "so many women are turned on by dominance" [or submission] for the same reason that so many men are turned on by dominance [or submission] – it's hot, it's fun, and playing with power dynamics allows us to explore and connect sexually. If that doesn't appeal to you, don't do it, but don't tell other people what they should/should not find appealing and/or pretend it has anything to do with their morals or standing as "feminists" or thoughtful people. And watch "Secretary."

  5. elephantjournal says:

    I'm turned on, personally, by porn that depicts two people being genuine and enjoying some hot, fun, intimate, real sex. I've blogged up a few examples of "respectful" sex such as this on elephant. But yes, I don't want to be uptight here…my point isn't that we shouldn't have a good time, get all hot and bothered…my point is just that I don't find domination sexy.

  6. Agreed! Well said.

  7. Coco says:

    Yes, yes and yes.

  8. ravenguerrero says:

    If anything, it might have been a problem in articulation. I apologize for the snarkiness. A lot of your posts are powerful, I just had to protest on this one.
    peace.

    That being said, itching to reply to this post made me subscribe, something I've been planning on for a long time but procrastinated on. I guess life's just silly that way.

  9. Juliet says:

    Your own personal tastes are unattractive when they are portrayed as an authoritative "right and wrong" pronouncement. Those shouldn not belong in Elephant, if you want this to be a respectable publication.
    Sex and what turns us on is probably one of the most variable and unexplainable things ever. So live and let live, please. Plenty of feminists who are women have kinks.

  10. elephantjournal says:

    "Live and let live," you say one sentence after "your view here, since it's wrong in my opinion, should not belong on elephant."

    And this is why I make fun of myself, because it's the only way to cope with my own tendency to take myself too seriously.

    And contribute an article about your view, and experience, which is equally if not more worthwhile! write@elephantjournal.com

  11. elephantjournal says:

    Hah. That's how we get you—with uptight, ill-informed, wrong-headed arguments that just have to be rebutted!

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