A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine.

Via Lori Ann Lothian
on May 29, 2012
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Photo: Michael Julian Berz

If I am going to act like a goddess, I want a man who acts like a god.

Yet all this talk lately of the goddess and the Divine Feminine seems like new-age wishful thinking, a fantasy archetype with as much to do with real life as Superwoman or the Fairy God Mother.


While goddess propagandists promote the unilateral concept of a spiritually elevated womanhood—strong but supple, decisive and nurturing, wild yet wise—glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint. Women can forever rally around each other, cheerleading new heights of intuitive and open-hearted power, but without the cooperation of menfolk stealing their own fire from the gods, we are preaching to the sistah choir.

Bottomline? Organizing a spiritual revolution as women without inviting men to the front lines with us means we are orchestrating a collective reframe with only half the available power. Real change means humanity—yes both genders—opts for the cosmic upgrade to Divine Class together.

So, on behalf of the X chromosome, here is my invitation to mortal men who wish to dance as gods with wanna-be goddesses.

1. Show us your heroic heart. We know you want to save what is worth saving and to rescue this planet from peril. Wage a hero’s battle against poverty, needless strife, environmental ruin or whatever stirs your courageous heart. It might be a plan to increase your neighborhood safety, to improve your child’s education, to plant a vegetable garden in your backyard or to stop prejudice wherever you see it. The world needs your brave heart to take bold action.

2. Unsheathe your sword. As a man, you wield a sword of truth that can cut through cultural distractions to what really matters. The faster car, the better sports team, the bigger salary are all fine and dandy but on your deathbed, what unfulfilled vision will you regret the most? What risk did you back away from? What chance did you refuse to take? Before you die, be bold enough to discover and live your truth.

3. Dare to dream. Before you played the role of mortal, you (well, we) created the heavens and earth. What do you wish to create here and now? What beautiful order do you wish to bring forth from the chaos of this world. What implausible dream do you want to manifest for the greater good of all? It doesn’t have to be grand, like solving world hunger. It can be simple, like solving your child’s homework problem because you are dedicated to being a great father. All we care about is that something brings you alive with passion.

4. Steer the ship. Aim your life for a noble horizon. It’s not like there’s a second in command who will captain your destiny while you snooze on the sofa after too many beers and potato chips with the TV droning in the background. Get to the helm of your life and navigate by your own pole star, the true north of your heart’s burning desire. Tip: if you don’t know what port you’re headed for, no wind is favorable.

5. Bring your soul to work. Work for more than the mortgage and car payments—work because you find some measure of joy in your job. And if the job is just to make ends meet for now, then meet that employment with gratitude and a call to service. Know that it’s not what you do, but what you bring to what you do, that matters.

6. Care deeply. As a man, you might have been taught to feel lightly and think hard, to hold your emotions back, as if you can build a dam against what naturally must flow. But your caring is what this world cries for. The tender-hearted masculine is both wise and merciful. When you weep, you give women permission to be strong. When your heart breaks we want to know it so that we can heal it together.

7. Love fearlessly. Show us the way by standing firm when we are in a beautiful rage. Don’t run from our fury—after all it might contain magical wisdom. In the gale force of feminine anger, your calm is a powerful reminder that we are met and accepted by our beloved partner.

8. Ravish your woman. Every now and then, take her wholeheartedly, without apology. Press her against a wall and bind her with your kisses. Possess your goddess, oh great god that you are, and then let her possess you. Polarity is a potent nectar and the current runs both ways.

9. Slay your demons. We all have them, the dark part of our hearts, the crevices where our fear and loathing hideout. Notice what keeps you awake at night and stalk it. Hunt your darkness and drag it into the light for loving and healing.

10. Leave your mark. Don’t settle for a fleeting cameo in which your appearance in this kingdom is so quickly forgotten. What do you want your children to say about you? Your great-grandchildren? The greatest legacy is not the wealth you leave behind, but your heartfelt message that echoes forward to future generations.

Ultimately, this dance of the divine in both genders is not about lighting incense, chanting at kirtan, wearing white or even gathering in gender-specific goddess groups or men’s Iron John style movements designed to reclaim a lost chest-thumping masculine. Rather, it’s about being real 360-degree humans, embracing both the sacred and the mundane within ourselves and each other.

When men are willing to meet women heart-first and to live from that divine place of kingly wisdom, warrior courage and boy-like vulnerability, we women are given the gift of receiving all of you. And we are given permission to reveal all of who we are—the nurturing goddess, the juicy seductress and yes, even the nasty b*tch.

In the end, the call to a Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine is perhaps just the simple yearning to get out of our crazy-busy heads and into our still-knowing hearts. As Rumi says, “I looked in Temples, Churches and Mosques. I found the Divine in my heart.”

Whatever the divine really is, let’s find it together.


The qualities to look for in a partner:

Letting Go is Overrated.


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About Lori Ann Lothian

Lori Ann Lothian is a spiritual revolutionary, divine magic maker and all-purpose scribe. Her articles on love, relationships, enlightenment and sex have appeared at Huffington Post, Good Men Project, Yoganonymous, Origin magazine, Better After 50, XO Jane and on her hit personal blog The Awakened Dreamer. She is also the creator of The 40 Day Magic Challenge. a daily practice to create a masterpiece life of ease, flow, joy and prosperity. Lori Ann lives in Vancouver, Canada, with her husband and daughter, where she has learned to transcend the rain and surrender to mega doses of vitamin D. Tweet her at Twitter


216 Responses to “A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine.”

  1. […] was inspired and challenged by the provocative elephant journal article A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine that recently made the viral rounds on […]

  2. Erik says:

    This is the kind of new age, naive nonsense that sounds to me like bloated heterosexual ego fantasies that belong more to eHarmony than to anything truly sacred.

    Particularly troubling to me is this desire to have men meet women "heart first." What? How condescending, and how blind to centuries and centuries and centuries of men who have brought (and bring) enormous heart to life and to the world. It's condescending, because it's like me sending an invitation to women to meet men head-first – as in, come on! have a brain!, and a sterling intellect.

    And what about gay men? I have no interest in ravishing a woman. None. This whole "Sacred Masculine" stuff as it stands is just an ego extension of the gender wars, a power struggle between opposites. If you were actually writing about something sacred and divine, gender would not even enter into this, and it would read very differently. It would be a much wider and deeper vision, rather than this quite limited and insulting vision.

    Lastly, virtually everything you've mentioned is through a vision of empowerment that is almost exclusively Heroic in nature. As broadly as that can be played out, it's still a limited view of life. It's 1 myth, 1 archetype, and a vision of a truly "sacred masculine" (or "sacred feminine") must reach much further and much wider and be far more encompassing of diversity and variety. It would move beyond the merely heroic and its desire to slay demons, "hunt" darkness, and shine light all over the place is almost the opposite of something sacred or divine, because the divine is a mystery. Going into the darkness and bringing light removes the mystery, blinds us further, and limits sacredness to what can be seen. Rather than hunting demons in the dark, maybe stop demonizing the dark. We live in a global world, 1/2 of which is always in darkness – non-demonic darkness. Step outside of all of the heroics, because that's the place to begin envisioning a "sacred masculine," and you'd really be onto something.

  3. Yogateacher says:

    Number 8 is called rape. If anybody, including someone in a relationship with me, grabs me without apology I am gonna punch them,run away, and repot them.

    Gender stereotypes suck. I’m with Erik on this one.

  4. Yogateacher says:

    It says "without apology". If you are doing something and there is a question as to whether you would have to apologize, don't do it because it is wrong. This feeds a dangerous fantasy out of which too many of us have been victimized.

    Sometimes I feel like we are just slipping backwards when I read this stuff. At the core of my "feminity", as you alluded to in another reply, there's a woman who will fight like rabid dog if you grab me up like that. Also at my core you will find a a multi-dimensional human being who likes others of the same ilk- as in folks that can't be pigeonholed. You know, i like hanging out not with he-man the effing barbarian, but real people with all the complexities and layers we come with as individuals…that is to say who we are when we allow ourselves to be free of prescribed roles and stereotypes.

  5. Martin says:

    l agree we must use of sole to connect to the next level

  6. James says:

    are you 3 clowns members of some strang group or didnt you understand what Alrishi said, nothing to do with the movement of Venus, can some one else help explain the real meaning

  7. Martin says:

    that is not very nice and a lot of spelling errors, you need James to open your tsdeen thoghts and unwind to a higher level, you really sound like a salesman

  8. George says:

    you all sound like you are drinking something, and l dont mean coke, get a life

  9. George says:

    you all sound like you are drinking something, and l dont mean coke, get a life you really need to wake up, it has nothing to do with Venus on Wed

  10. martin says:

    we need to look at Ashar in regards to Venus passing the earth on Wed

  11. Mark says:

    l too have felt this movement, and wondered if it was only me, thank you for the enlightment

  12. Andrew says:

    I Still think that Mars has something to do with it
    Love Andy

  13. Paul says:

    Would someone fill me in?
    Paul Bellotti

  14. Paul says:

    I like to know if you guys can call me Re: special offer

  15. Gerald says:

    The Sacred Masculine embodies all Your eloquent invitations graciously to put forward his bold pursuit.
    He holds the vastness of Your creative energy and give it shape and form, leading the dance with Humanity as family.
    Nourish the Earth's Children to global awakening and parent the route for all their enlightenment.
    And nothing less… with warm unceasing Divine Love.

  16. […] put the divine feminine solely on females and the sacred masculine on people with male-sexed bodies only (as a couple of […]

  17. Dale Elson says:

    While you make some interesting points, I do not accept your invitation. I am not a god, I am a man. I am, frankly, not really interested in what women want me to be. My passions to change/better/whatever the world are not generated on your behest – they come from within me. Asking me to change to fit what a woman wants is the opposite of masculinity – it is a an invitation to become an attractive lapdog.

    My heart is either courageous or not, and trying to satisfy a woman does not bring forth true courage.
    My sword is a sword, because I'm not a character in a Harlequin romance, I am a man.
    Dare to dream?
    I _will_ steer the ship. We are the ship, if you are mine. Are you ready to be compassionately and lovingly ruled by a man?
    Bring your soul to work; let me get this straight – if I don't feel passionate about my dull but lucrative job, I should quit? Right. Because when the going gets boring, a husband and father quits.
    Care deeply – again, caring is either real or it isn't. Trying to care about something to please a woman is both foolish and dishonest.
    Beautiful rages do not exist. Rages are UGLY. Sure, yell at me. But your outpouring of negative energy has natural and inevitable consequences.
    Ravage your woman. No problem.
    Slay your demons. Excellent advice. Note that you have no part in this, because they are _my_ demons. And you can't handle them.
    Leave your mark. That is natural for a man. And not because he wants the adulation of family, friends, and a grateful nation. These are shallow things. This is like "preserve your honor;" a dangerous lie and deceitful paradigm. The true calling is to "make things better."

    The point is that you do not seem to understand men. And this "god" you have designed is not truly a man, and very far from a hero, because he is a woman's vision of masculinity. No more than a character from a Harlequin Romance.

    The life of a truly masculine man flows from within him as naturally, powerfully, and inevitably as heat & light from the sun. It needs no moon to call it forth, and no moonlight to show it how to blaze. The sun defines the day, not the moon.

  18. Jaina Proudmoore says:

    I find this rather generalizing.
    For example (and the first thing that struck me when I read this): Not all women get turned on by dominating men..

    Whats up with this obsession to divide human beeings up in categorizes, like men and women were two different specie? Both women and men need love and respect, and as for the rest (like sexual preferences) those are highly individual.

    Sure, some of these advices are good, but they apply as much for women as they do for men.

    Naturally there seems to be (in my opinion) a minimal gap, if any at all, between men and women. We are essentially the same. But some of us make that gap bigger, and make things more complicated than they need to be, by seeing women and men as two highly different forms of creatures.

    Life is not not black and white, there is no such thing as feminin and masculine “energy” (explain how gays, transexuals, bisexuals, crossdressers etc etc etc fits into this oversimplified theory please?).

    We are people, we are one. There is no need to create borders by treating people different depending on their skincolor, religion, gender, profession or whatever.
    Just treat people like you want them to treat you, and cut the generalizing crap. :)


  19. Lady Uberbabe says:

    Thank you. Beautifully written. I think it's essential to remember, and in remembering, to embrace – the sacred masculine in all of us, the divine feminine in all of us – for the sacred polarities of masculine and feminine run in every one of us, regardless of gender. And the call to rise – is a call to rise to the feminine and masculine – within us. It is through this inner union of our own masculine and feminine – that the divine heart that holds all hearts, grows.

  20. Michael says:

    the article was powerful in its being applicable to the subcurrent energies of masc/fem…and the comments section is amazingly insightful, expanding and broadening the message, bringing a clearer idea of its limitations and uses. thank you everyone for participating.

  21. Michael says:

    be whatever you are…yay! you did it!

  22. Isobel Kobak says:

    Appreciating the persistence you put into your website and in depth information you present. It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed information. Wonderful read! I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  23. Tony in Berkely says:

    What a bunch of pretentious, narcissistic spiritual masturbation.

  24. Don Juan says:

    Written like a true woman, all emotion and no logic at work.

  25. David says:

    All this talk of 'The Divine' has no meaning if we do not truly understand what it actually is? If beyond the expresssion of word(s) then talking about it is not going to help/assist anyone.

    If there is divinity then it would surely be seen in actions rather than words by philososphers, new-age(neo)advaitists. Actions that prove uniqueness of character than driven by emotional and mental(concepts) fantasy!

  26. David says:

    Just concepts and nothing more!

  27. I love seeing male-positive posts, honoring our male "gods". Our beautiful boys and men have a right to be treated with love and respect so they can be vulnerable. I didn't like the part about it being OK for women to unleash being "a nasty bitch" and men being expected to take it. That's violence and violence is never acceptable.

  28. […] write this now because a recent article of mine on love at elephant journal went viral. A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine soared to 44,000 views and 12,000 Facebook likes in ten days. The piece also drew praise and […]

  29. […] A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine. (elephantjournal.com) […]

  30. Julie says:

    Cheerleading? You had to go THERE?

  31. […] I want to want you not because it gratifies my ego, not because you are outwardly beautiful, but because your very presence invites my Godself out of hiding. I want to touch you with my heart on my sleeve, to know chemistry between us that is not gender […]

  32. tao23 says:

    blech. How about we just do our humanly best, which is sure to often be terrible but likely good enough, and ease up with all the spiritual romance novel stuff?
    This is basically everything wrong with American Buddhism, yoga, and takes on "Eastern Spirituality." Everybody wants to still be the hero of their 'spiritual' movie, while not wanting to just realize that the movie itself is, well, just a movie. Real love like real spirituality is wonderfully dull most of the time.

  33. […] waited a while to respond to Lori Ann Lothian’s post, A Call to the Sacred Masculine, Ten Daring Invitations From the Divine Feminine, mostly because it was hard to […]

  34. Alyson says:

    A bit tired of the whole duality represented here. I am both feminine and masculine. I am a sacred human, not a goddess/god. "The call" is to become and embrace who we already are without all the garbage about swords, fighting demons, etc. I want be with people who can give and take but most importantly accept. Meet the world wholly and honestly. Masculine? Feminine? Meh. I, for one, don't care.

  35. […] I’m Sorry, Letter of Apology to Men, the Hoʻoponopono methos, etc. And, while I like the Call to the Sacred Masculine from Lori Ann Lothian, I also felt a bit boxed in and missed (my video response to her […]

  36. […] above comment came from a man angry with me—or at least with my words as penned in A Call to The Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine, an article that soared to 50,000 views and garnered 14,000 Facebook likes. In other words, a piece […]

  37. god says:

    This is just another wounded part of the feminine, calling out as the victim – "where is my soul mate" / "who will love me" it's bullshit. No man is going to love you, 'ever' ,,,if you do not love yourself first, and I only know of about 1200 women walking the planet now that are honest when they say they love themselves… If you were the self empowered "goddess" you say you are, and you did happen to actually love yourself, then you wouldn't need a man / be missing a man, or, for that matter = you wouldn't be without one ! …..but the fact is, you DON'T have one, and your won't if you continue to heap loads of false identity into that goddess costume you wear. It has no more validity than the wings and feathers you put on during a week at burning man…it's false, with nothing to back it up, and will only lead you astray down yet another path of spiritual seeking without finding, searching without results – a dead end, only serving to keep you distracted from yourself as the wounded part plays another game out in your delusional mental prison…
    The feminine you say you are now – it's a role you have chosen to take on, as your own.. but you are owning/playing something that is not yours…. it's a costume, a self inflated ego that is crying out it's open wound. When you leave this place called earth – do you think you will still be a "female" ? no – there is no gender role to be played out beyond earth… A real and true goddess contains both masculine and feminine – in divine balance, and requires no other than it's self to "complete" it… no other, no man, no thing or non thing… so in the mean time, you "rally around each other" feeding the wound, feeding this virus, giving it your power… while the real men shake their heads…. waiting…. for you to really step up, and into yourself.
    What you are selling your victims is false, misleading and is further perpetuating the wound they are aligning to play with, validating it, giving it a voice and a platform to take over and control their lives… I suggest you read up on "the wound of isis" and let go of this silly game you are playing with yourself – and the divine masculine.

  38. Edward Staskus says:

    I agree: if a woman is going to act like a godess, then she needs a man who is going to act like a god.

  39. […] unexpectedly, I wrote a blockbuster called A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine. And suddenly I was under fire from angry men and women, a vocal minority who hated the article, […]

  40. There's a great deal that comes up in response to this sort of writing, and I want to be clear that this comment is not reserved for this post exclusively.

    I've read the article, and your various responses Lori, and while I admire the intent, there are many men, myself included, who are tired of being preached to as if we are fundamentally unaware. Should a man write an article like this to women, the backlash would be extreme. Just because men might be more measured in their response, doesn't mean this is any less matronising / diminishing (funny how we don't have a word for when women speak down to men, but we certainly have the reverse!) than when a man speaks to a woman in the same way.

    I've often thought to write such an article but have held back because I don't consider it would be useful. I'm an intelligent, self-aware and loving human being, and this has nothing whatsoever to do with my gender, just as your nature has nothing to do with yours.

    Articles of this nature seem to consistently reinforce some separation, and diminish the profound value that men bring to the world. Change happens by meeting each other where we are. If we're meeting each other from the place of needing to be different, we're visiting a subtle violence upon the world that is counter-productive to our intent. I wonder how many women consider that their approach to men has as much of an impact upon how we behave in the world as men's approach to women. None of us is without hypocrisy – it goes with having a body. Surely we need to meet each other as we are?

    Women have struggled for centuries to be free of socially proscribed ideas of who they can and cannot be. Attaining this freedom doesn't mean that they have the right to inflict a whole new set of social proscriptions on men.

    In short, I for one don't need yet another list (despite this being quite a good one). I'm more aware of how I move in the world that is unloving and incongruent with engendering a loving and peaceful world than anyone outside of this body could ever be. That's the point of this work, of 'knowing thyself'.

    The point of most significance is your closing line: "Whatever the divine really is, let’s find it together."

    An invitation isn't proscriptive, it's an opening. There are many men who exemplify not only these qualities, but many that are far, far beyond. Perhaps it's time women started approaching men as equals, as opposed to unaware, ignorant relics of a bygone era in need of better tutelage.

  41. Sam says:

    This is really lovely but, as a woman, I don't need permission from my man to be strong! (Point number 6) I don't need his permission for anything. We are equals, remember?

  42. […] is the evolutionary work we have come to do. How we hold the Sacred Feminine and Sacred Masculine through a dance of partnership will blaze the trail of our dawning. A dawning where each is […]

  43. Cesare says:

    I've felt the need to re-post this in all the articles I found that touched on "ravishing" women, so forgive me if you are reading this more than once. All I can say is WOW!, but not in a good way. So when is a no a "real" no? Basically the ravishing concept says to me that the woman maintains all the power in the sexual encounter, both in telling me to be more assertive and then arbitrarily deciding when a no really means no. If anything, this inspires misogyny in me. This is one on the few times I'm actually jealous of Charlie Sheen, and his alleged comments about not paying prostitutes to have sex with him, but to leave after the fact. That seems far more honest of a relationship to me.

    And before anyone accuses me of simple-mindedness, let's look at the The American Heritage® Dictionary's definition of ravish:

    1. To seize and carry away by force.
    2. To force (another) to have sexual intercourse; rape.
    3. To overwhelm with emotion; enrapture.

    Yeah I can see how the 3rd definition could possibly fit. But the other two, they seem very much to be about force and violence. Dr. Sheck even boasts of his large frame, and how women he's come across LOVE (emphasis in the original) when men can make them feel like a little girl.

    You are so playing with fire on this point.

  44. Oh I love a brave heart! As for unsheathing your sword…..enough said. Now where were we? Yes, wise & powerful words. Care deeply good men! Rise up, love fearlessly, head for your true north & leave your mark. xx Roni

  45. Karen McElroy says:

    Thanks for a great post and one that is needed. Women love men…we want them to love themselves and find their sacredness to be the best they can be and then we can all dance in this polarity!

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