A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine.

Via on May 29, 2012
Photo: Michael Julian Berz

If I am going to act like a goddess, I want a man who acts like a god.

Yet all this talk lately of the goddess and the Divine Feminine seems like new-age wishful thinking, a fantasy archetype with as much to do with real life as Superwoman or the Fairy God Mother.

couple

While goddess propagandists promote the unilateral concept of a spiritually elevated womanhood—strong but supple, decisive and nurturing, wild yet wise—glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint. Women can forever rally around each other, cheerleading new heights of intuitive and open-hearted power, but without the cooperation of menfolk stealing their own fire from the gods, we are preaching to the sistah choir.

Bottomline? Organizing a spiritual revolution as women without inviting men to the front lines with us means we are orchestrating a collective reframe with only half the available power. Real change means humanity—yes both genders—opts for the cosmic upgrade to Divine Class together.

So, on behalf of the X chromosome, here is my invitation to mortal men who wish to dance as gods with wanna-be goddesses.

1. Show us your heroic heart. We know you want to save what is worth saving and to rescue this planet from peril. Wage a hero’s battle against poverty, needless strife, environmental ruin or whatever stirs your courageous heart. It might be a plan to increase your neighborhood safety, to improve your child’s education, to plant a vegetable garden in your backyard or to stop prejudice wherever you see it. The world needs your brave heart to take bold action.

2. Unsheathe your sword. As a man, you wield a sword of truth that can cut through cultural distractions to what really matters. The faster car, the better sports team, the bigger salary are all fine and dandy but on your deathbed, what unfulfilled vision will you regret the most? What risk did you back away from? What chance did you refuse to take? Before you die, be bold enough to discover and live your truth.

3. Dare to dream. Before you played the role of mortal, you (well, we) created the heavens and earth. What do you wish to create here and now? What beautiful order do you wish to bring forth from the chaos of this world. What implausible dream do you want to manifest for the greater good of all? It doesn’t have to be grand, like solving world hunger. It can be simple, like solving your child’s homework problem because you are dedicated to being a great father. All we care about is that something brings you alive with passion.

4. Steer the ship. Aim your life for a noble horizon. It’s not like there’s a second in command who will captain your destiny while you snooze on the sofa after too many beers and potato chips with the TV droning in the background. Get to the helm of your life and navigate by your own pole star, the true north of your heart’s burning desire. Tip: if you don’t know what port you’re headed for, no wind is favorable.

5. Bring your soul to work. Work for more than the mortgage and car payments—work because you find some measure of joy in your job. And if the job is just to make ends meet for now, then meet that employment with gratitude and a call to service. Know that it’s not what you do, but what you bring to what you do, that matters.

6. Care deeply. As a man, you might have been taught to feel lightly and think hard, to hold your emotions back, as if you can build a dam against what naturally must flow. But your caring is what this world cries for. The tender-hearted masculine is both wise and merciful. When you weep, you give women permission to be strong. When your heart breaks we want to know it so that we can heal it together.

7. Love fearlessly. Show us the way by standing firm when we are in a beautiful rage. Don’t run from our fury—after all it might contain magical wisdom. In the gale force of feminine anger, your calm is a powerful reminder that we are met and accepted by our beloved partner.

8. Ravish your woman. Every now and then, take her wholeheartedly, without apology. Press her against a wall and bind her with your kisses. Possess your goddess, oh great god that you are, and then let her possess you. Polarity is a potent nectar and the current runs both ways.

9. Slay your demons. We all have them, the dark part of our hearts, the crevices where our fear and loathing hideout. Notice what keeps you awake at night and stalk it. Hunt your darkness and drag it into the light for loving and healing.

10. Leave your mark. Don’t settle for a fleeting cameo in which your appearance in this kingdom is so quickly forgotten. What do you want your children to say about you? Your great-grandchildren? The greatest legacy is not the wealth you leave behind, but your heartfelt message that echoes forward to future generations.

Ultimately, this dance of the divine in both genders is not about lighting incense, chanting at kirtan, wearing white or even gathering in gender-specific goddess groups or men’s Iron John style movements designed to reclaim a lost chest-thumping masculine. Rather, it’s about being real 360-degree humans, embracing both the sacred and the mundane within ourselves and each other.

When men are willing to meet women heart-first and to live from that divine place of kingly wisdom, warrior courage and boy-like vulnerability, we women are given the gift of receiving all of you. And we are given permission to reveal all of who we are—the nurturing goddess, the juicy seductress and yes, even the nasty b*tch.

In the end, the call to a Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine is perhaps just the simple yearning to get out of our crazy-busy heads and into our still-knowing hearts. As Rumi says, “I looked in Temples, Churches and Mosques. I found the Divine in my heart.”

Whatever the divine really is, let’s find it together.

 

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About Lori Ann Lothian

Lori Ann Lothian is a spiritual revolutionary, divine magic maker and all-purpose scribe. She writes about love, relationships, enlightenment and even sex, at Huffington Post, Good Men Project, Yoganonymous, Origin magazine, Better After 50 and on her hit personal blog The Awakened Dreamer. She is also a senior editor at the online magazine, The Good Men Project, where she founded Good for the Soul, a section dedicated to the exploration of men and spirituality. Lori Ann lives in Vancouver, Canada, with her husband and daughter, where she has learned to transcend the rain and surrender to mega doses of vitamin D. Tweet her at Twitter or friend her on Facebook at Facebook.

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213 Responses to “A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine.”

  1. Lisa Tener says:

    I loved this post (and looks like I am in good company!). What an invitation for all of us, male and female.

  2. [...] this article, (which starts with, “If I am going act like a goddess, I want a man who acts like a [...]

  3. [...] Burning Man is the ultimate orgasmic world and Camp Contact, a camp at Burning Man, is one representation of that. Originally founded as a Contact Improvisation Dance camp, they are now taking their dance philosophy into workshops that focus on relating, intimacy and the never-ending tango between femininity and masculinity. [...]

  4. Lion Goodman says:

    Well said! The men in my community (www.TribeOfMen.com) are all working toward these virtues.

    A man will respond to a woman's "call" if that call begins with seeing his best qualities, elevates his goodness, and calls him even further to his greatness. This is the opposite of what happens all too often — out of disappointment, a woman sees where her man is lacking, points it out, and lets him know that it's not acceptable, and he should change. This, of course, reminds us of our mother (or father), and turns us away from the direction you want us to go.

    The men's movement is wide and deep. I interviewed more than 90 leaders of the men's movement last year (including many women) during the Ultimate Men's Summit. Those interviews are still available – for free – and I highly recommend listening to the astonishing range of voices, opinions, and perspectives about men and manhood today.

    http://www.UltimateMensSummit.com.

  5. [...] particular, I am repulsed by how the masculine feels so thoroughly entitled to worship, possess, pilfer and then discard the idealized beauty of [...]

  6. [...] is a marriage that takes place within. A marriage between the sacred masculine and feminine. We are often unaware of the internal conflict between these aspects of [...]

  7. anti-BDSM says:

    Ravish your woman – this term clearly shows misogynous, annoyingly sexist and oh so New Age pseudo-spiritual shitty attitudes. You clearly have no understanding of male nature, this is a tone some masochist so-called "feminists" who claim BDSM to be "enjoyable" take with men…. FUUUU disgusting …

  8. anti-BDSM says:

    ravish your woman- this word clearly shows misogynous, sexist and oh so New Age shitty pseudo-spiritalist neo-patriarchy!!!!!! You certainly have no undrestanding of male nature and take a tone the masochist "feminists" take with men/

  9. Namaste says:

    Lori, you are a great writer, I'm glad I found your blog. I'd have to say, that both men and women need to be HONEST and I can say after meeting many people in my life, they are afraid to BE who they REALLY ARE.. If people would just be HONEST then we are accepted or not accepted and sometimes, just following our heart is the most honest thing we can do. Live in the moment but prepare for the future, have expectations on ourselves…There is that old poem, we are not here for anyone's expectations, but if we can find each other, life can be more beautiful. Make a beautiful life for ourselves by becoming the best we can be…Expectations must be in the direction of agreement and commitment not shared, means not lived up to.

  10. [...] suppose I could use the old throwaway words—polarity. masculine and feminine. In a way, they tell us that something exists. There are labels [...]

  11. [...] absorbed being gazed upon by an audience of one. The audience is a collective of the great masculine. It is a gathering of all my lovers. It is the memory of my virginity ravished with a savage [...]

  12. [...] withstand pain and death-defying experiences. But for so many uncounted, seasoned-hidden reasons, they never dare to speak up, look for consolation, or ask for [...]

  13. Tallgreenalien says:

    Recently when I mentioned that there is not enough out there that speaks to the issue of what it means to be a real man, I was rebuffed with the old argument that "men own everything already," as it were not allowed for men to speak of these things — to actually talk about how to become better at being a man. So I am a bit dumbstruck by an article by a woman "inviting" us to be real men, as if that should be allowed instead of men teaching men how to be better men. How about if a man writes an article inviting women to be better women? I wonder how that would be received. Would women be just as grateful about being told how to be a real woman as so many of the comments from men?

  14. wonderful .. thank you.. I waiting to meet him <3 please check out my website w w w . sex as sacred . c o m

  15. [...] five little things that will keep me purring in your arms and bed, and make you feel like the love god you’re capable of [...]

  16. [...] exceptional men I’ve been with who enjoy the ride, who witness my storms or those of other women with a knowing look, a wisdom that goes beyond my high-strung-ness or defensiveness or just general freakout, are [...]

  17. brokenyogi says:

    What do women want? Apparently, it's a long list of things. And the list is different for every woman. We men have to smile, nod our heads, and ignore as much of it as we can get away with. Our list is way, way shorter. So we give in on most of it, but hold out on what actually matters to us. In the end, it balances out.

  18. PanOptikum says:

    Your forgot the most important thing: If you want to be a true male god, you dont need females to tell you how to be.
    Or do godesses need males to tell them how to behave ;)?

  19. ShantiShahara says:

    Wow,what a powerful soul stirring article. This is my fourth or fifth time reading it and paying it forward. The very thoughts of the God/dess energies mingling and lighting the world together is INTOXICATING. YES YES.. not only do goddess's have to rise, but the god's as well … it is a divine dance of source… both succulent energies intermingling, complementing and shining together. THANK you for this amazing core moving piece! <3

    Namaste!

  20. thesexualintellectuals says:

    Thank you for addressing the sacred masculin! I have always been very focused on the feminine, but as the mother of two teen boys, and have suddenly realized that there is very little out there for men who want to be connected, whole, loving, spiritual and still manly. Thanks for bringing men into the mix!

  21. Ashley says:

    gorgeous.

  22. michele says:

    absolutely love this…so many men think the strong, goddess figure wants to compete for power, even overshadow men's strength, when what most want is a man who taps into his strength just as strongly – one who meets her feminine with his masculine, and who celebrates and honors each of them.

  23. Chanda says:

    I am saving this for my son, and if there is a partner in my future, he will need this. THANK YOU!

  24. Lori Ann : your comments are helpful to provoke action from both genders but your terms and language bespeak a merely journalistic viewpoint. "Is that all you got?"

    Comments by e.b. sarver here says what I think you would profit to absorb more personally and/or more deeply.
    Also read Gary Stamper's 2012 book, "Awakening the New Masculine."

    Rasing consciousness take work and time, practice and devotion, a lot more than a "10-tips" list

  25. Soulriser says:

    While I can connect emotionally with the sentiment of this article, there's still something that feels off. Still something Hollywood dreamy-cheesy about it. The ideal man as something in accordance with some fanciful rules of perfection that still seem tied to bullshit ideals promulgated by New Age-hippie exceptionalists. Like the so called "goddess propagandists," it smells of being self righteous and trite.

    But yes, of course, men need to change, as many of us have swung too far towards the opposite of Marlboro Man to be of much use to the world. So may we be inspired to grow into giants perfected by our trials.

  26. Lori Ann, Thank you. I have so much to say, I wanted to write to you personally, but I couldn't figure out how. So here is the abbreviated version.

    I am participating in a 7 week on online course by a bestselling author. Her book takes a beautiful, riveting, in-depth look at the qualities needed to attract a man or women of the highest masculine and feminine attributes. In essence, the book rallies the reader to cultivate the qualities ourselves we are looking for in a partner. Brilliant right?

    Well here's the catch. There are perhaps over 500 people enrolled in the course. And as I scrolled down the pictures to see who my course buddies where, to my great heartache, I noticed there were only 12 men.

    After sitting with that discouraging statistic for a few minutes, I threw up my hands to the heavens and called to the divine: "So what, all these beautiful woman are preparing themselves for their amazing man, and when we're done; What? You're gonna' beam all the men down on a mother ship from some other planet where they’re preparing themselves for us?"

    Once I began to laugh at my own ranting, I had fun imagining these men of the highest masculine attributes marching out, one by one into the arms of those 500+ goddess women anxiously waiting and well prepared for their beloved.
    And now not so cynically, (and since the odds of meeting a man who has already taken the time to truly prepare himself to be a man of the highest attributes seems to be about 50-1) my hope is that all the women who have worked, labored to stretch into the divine feminine of the highest attributes will meet men who are at least willing to take these goddesses by the hand and allow themselves to be influenced and encouraged by our diligent work.

  27. Jason W says:

    I'm kind of curious about number 7. Stand firm in what way? Not by taking abuse from a woman, and standing idly by. That's not some ideal to be followed by men. Or do you mean stand firm while the other goes into a rage because they're not getting their way? In either case it sounds really juvenile. Hopefully someone can help clarify this for me.

  28. Meilin says:

    Continuing to speak the language of masculine and feminine, whether divine or not, and whether referring to males and females or to archetypes supposedly within us all is hardly revolutionary. In fact, it's not revolutionary at all – it's archaic and conservative. This kind of binary thinking is unimaginative and, worse, it perniciously (even if subtly) perpetuates the very gender norms it supposedly transcends. More hunter/warrior and nurturer/seductress b.s. that prevents people from being "360 degrees" rather than cultivating it.

  29. Kamyar says:

    Hi Lori! Thanks for sharing these words. A sweet friend of mine directed my attention to it.
    I believe words such as Men, Women, Masculine, Feminine, Divine… like almost any other word have a mirror quality. The meanings, fears and hopes we charge them with are reflections of our inner longings. Yes they are about beings out there, and yes, they are also about our selves.
    As a man and through experience I have learned that there are Gods and Goddesses in every man and woman, as perfect as they can be in every situation. Moments that I had a desire for them to be even a bit more that what they are, if I had the courage to step back and observe myself in that desire, it was easy to recognise that there is a potential in myself that is longing to come online and be claimed. The person in front of me was a perfect as it could be, in that moment.
    I also see a longing in women to connect to their inner masculine in a different way, and the same with men, to acknowledge their inner feminine.
    Thanks again for the inspiration… With Smiles

  30. Angela says:

    "Organizing a spiritual revolution as women without inviting men to the front lines with us means we are orchestrating a collective reframe with only half the available power." This wonderful article could have ended there and the message would have been loud and clear. I love men. I'm so tired of the manosphere/feminist banter. Although the way men are described above is a bit to broad to be credible, I do believe they need to be loved, and women need to stop punishing them at every turn. The real, heroic men will find their goddessses who deserve them. The women who believe their "goddesses" just because their female still have a lot to learn. <3

  31. macpanther says:

    Have you read Iron John?

  32. Hi there–I did not write this piece from what is lacking in my own life. My man exemplifies most of the qualites I wrote about. I wrote it for many reasons, which I will explain in further articles. Yes, I hear you that it's about humanity as a whole, but to deny the polarity of male-female (and masculine/feminine in each of us) is disingenuous. I will be bringing more to the discussion in a follow up piece. Thanks very much for taking the time to read and comment. It helps a lot to see where my words have missed the mark or have been misuderstood.

  33. Thank you willian for sharing your blog.

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