A Dude’s Response to “A Call to the Sacred Masculine.” {Video}

Via Jayson Gaddis
on Jun 22, 2012
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I waited a while to respond to Lori Ann Lothian’s post, A Call to the Sacred Masculine, Ten Daring Invitations From the Divine Feminine, mostly because it was hard to stomach.

I couldn’t even finish reading it.

But eventually I worked with myself and got to a place of appreciation.

Thank you, Lori, for putting this out there and for pouring some gas on my fire. Here’s my two cents:

Check out this cat’s post where I drew inspiration from:

“Response to “A Call To The Sacred Masculine…”

I will be finishing a more elaborate blog post soon about this whole issue. Stay tuned…


Editor: Brianna Bemel

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About Jayson Gaddis

Jayson Gaddis, host of The Smart Couple Podcast , relationship geek and host of the Smart Couple Podcast, is on a mission to teach people the one class they didn’t get in school--”How to do intimate relationships.” He was emotionally constipated for years before relationship failure forced him to master relationships. Now, he’s married to his amazing wife of 8 years and has two beautiful kids. When he doesn’t live and breathe this stuff with his family, he pretty much gets his ass handed to him. Jayson writes his own highly personal blog, and has also written for Integral Life, Digital Romance, The Jungle of Life, Primer Magazine, Recovering Yogi, The Good Men Project. You can find him here: Jayson Gaddis or sign up for a free training here if you are dealing with an emotionally unavailable man like Jayson used to be. You can also become a fan on Facebook here: Jayson Gaddis Fan Page.


33 Responses to “A Dude’s Response to “A Call to the Sacred Masculine.” {Video}”

  1. Brooks Hall says:

    Hi Jayson. I like your thoughts on this, but also just to say that women are deeply conditioned, also. I heard it the video a call for tolerance for men’s ways because of the difficulty of deep gender-learning or something (my words). Don’t you think everyone is affected by this? Maybe Lori Ann deserves a bit of compassionate patience, too.

    I, too was generally offended by the divine scared misunderstandings I saw there, and also responded:

  2. HI everyone: What ever happened when I wrote this piece, is it struck a huge collective chord AND nerve. I just wrote a piece for Origin magazine, out this september, on this very controversy, especially on the negative response by SOME men and women to the 'ravish" item. Yet the overwhelming response to the piece, as evidenced by my inbox and the 13K FB shares/nearly 50K views, is POSITIVE. So, this leaves me wondering why this pieces has resonated so widely.

    It was not meant as a set of rules, ir was a poetic rif that I wrote in three hours–I will be posting my own follow up piece at ele next week explaining what prompted me to create A Call to the Sacred Masculine–and no, it's not because I am unhappy with the man in my life!

    In the meantime, Jasyon, you might like to listen to my one hour interview on the British FM radio show, Untanlged, where I discuss in more depth what A Call to the SM, is about and what it is NOT about. I think you might be surprised at how I am not a strident zealot demanding men man-up. :-) LinK: http://www.untangledfm.com/index.php/replays/the-

    Thank you for taking the time to respond in such a creative way.

    Lori Ann


  3. Tony in Berkeley says:

    Take a look at who was so positive about your article and you'll find that its women (80% of Elephant's readership), not men….your purported audience. Much of the woman-focused media today (HuffPo Women's section, Cosmo, Glamour, etc) is full of stories about how women wish their men would be so the vein you've tapped into is a popular one. So, you're getting lots of hits from women who are reading what they want to hear in the first place but not getting nearly the same response from men. The whole piece had a faint undertone of the nagging girlfriend/wife who always seems to have a list of what she wants her man to do/be.

    Perhaps it was the condescending tone of your piece, perhaps it sounded too similar to the nagging described above, and perhaps its because men want to find their own path as men…and as the embodied divine masculine (in the same way women found their own way). We may not end up being all those things that woman (and the divine feminine) wants but we'll be one thing for sure; authentic.

  4. Paul says:

    Your response sounds a bit defensive as if she wrote the article about you. I really took Lori's post as some things for guys to think about. But I can see how many took it as judgmental and maybe it was. But I always like to separate the wheat from the chaff and just try to find something relevant or of value and just disregard the rest. Its all just words any way and everyone's interpretation will be (at least) a little different. I wonder how many women forwarded that article to the man in their lives as if to say, "work on it" :). I do think maybe she could have taken a bit of a different approach so as not to come off sounding judgmental.

    It also seems as though you took some of her points out of context or misinterpreted them. Just my perception though and I've been known to be wrong quite often :)

  5. elephantjournal says:

    Love this. I tried to write this, in a funny way, but haven't been able to do so, yet. You clearly contemplated and sat on this for awhile until your coal of inspiration turned into a diamond of dialogue. Thanks brother (and, good father that you are).

    You've held my feet to the fire before—thanks again for responding with such gentleness and prajna/insight to Lori's remarkable, challenging post.



  6. Rob says:

    Jayson, you nailed it!

  7. Rene Pettner says:

    I like what you guys are up also. Such intelligent work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my website :)

  8. Genna says:

    Thank you, Jayson. Felt my breathing getting deeper just listening to you work through the points. It is is exhausting to feel I have to "live up" to something or somebody else's ideas of "good". Makes me want to cry thinking about it, as a matter of fact. I am ambitious, I am very interested in growing and learning… but I like the journey. I don't want or need a "Goddess Merit Badge" from anyone based on their ideas of what "it" is… it's taken me years to be able to surrender to being myself and not worry about living up to what others want of me. Not going back. Thanks, again.

  9. leigha says:

    I am amazed that the underling invitation for a creative, heartfelt dialog between the masculine and feminine was lost to some in the verbiage of Lori Ann's article. Perhaps we could all put down our stones and remember it is both our difference and our sameness that makes life interesting.

  10. elephantjournal says:

    Ryan Grimm
    To a great extent, I follow his arguments and agree with them. NOT ALL OF THEM.
    I DO question the female author's criteria of what a man is, and what he should be; did she decide on these after actually talking with a large number of men

    Carl Beck I didn't read "A Call to the Sacred Masculine" mostly because I'm at odds with people dictating how others should live their lives. I'm also at odds with people who think the "know" how other should run their lives. This fellows response is way more succinct than I could have ever written. Thanks.

  11. Sandy says:

    The original post by Lori is a typical lament from an older women that lost her youth all so soon and now wants to retrofit her folly into a goddess fable. Kind of sad that she that she can't get a grip on her failure in her relationships.

  12. […] People apologize too quickly in this culture. The new age spiritual scene is all about it right recently. Examples include the Dear Women video, Dear Divine Feminine, I’m Sorry, Letter of Apology to Men, the Hoʻoponopono methos, etc. And, while I like the Call to the Sacred Masculine from Lori Ann Lothian, I also felt a bit boxed in and missed (my video response to her here). […]

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