The Roller-Coaster Relationship. ~ Stephanie Bailey
The roller-coaster relationship is a ride where there is less cheering, more screaming and you can’t wait for it to be over.
Have you ever been in a relationship that has more downs than ups and unexpected twists and turns? I have, and it sucks. A relationship like this reminds me of being on a roller-coaster; it will leave you feeling dizzy, frustrated, confused and emotionally sick to your stomach.
A roller-coaster relationship feels similar to a roller-coaster ride. At first, the relationship moves at a nice steady pace forward. The person you’re dating is making time and effort to see you and it feels great, putting a smile on your face that’s bigger than Mickey Mouse’s.
As you become more intimate, the relationship (ride) progresses and you feel as if you’re climbing this amazing mountain together and can’t wait to get to the top (could this be the one?). Little did you know that once you reached the top there would be an abrupt and unexpected “bump” triggering your relationship to spiral downward…fast.
Hanging on for dear life you feel panic and confused. What just happened? For the first time you start to wonder if your relationship will survive this plunge.
Just when you think the unsettling “ride” to hell is never going to end, to your surprise the relationship starts moving forward and escalating up to heaven again. Things between you two are back on track and it feels great. Aahhh. You are blissfully happy again, or so you think, until another bump causes your relationship to go back down. This time, the dive is sooner and apparently faster than the last.
The whiplash of ups and downs in your relationship causes you to feel unbalanced and very uneasy. The trust you once felt in the relationship is gone and you start to feel sick to your stomach wondering when and if this ride will ever be over. Will you survive the emotional turmoil? Yes, as long as the fear can be released.
Fear is what usually causes the “roller-coaster ride” to happen. Fear of not being loved enough. Fear of the relationship not working after emotions have been invested. Fear of becoming too close to someone. Fear of having your heart broken again. Fear that you will ultimately never be enough.
Fear sabotages relationships. When fear gets in your way, the fun and exciting part of the relationship becomes a roller-coaster without breaks that plunges down fast and hard, leaving your heart shattered in a million pieces.
Relationships are bound to have moments of ups and downs; that’s normal. However, the downs should never exceed the ups. Those should also be far and few between.
If your relationship starts to have more unexpected jerking and swerving from left to right, back and forth leaving you nauseously dizzy, confused…that is obviously not a fun ride (or a healthy relationship).
If you start to feel more stress then excitement, sadness then happiness and more down’s than ups, it’s time to get your booty off this emotional roller-coaster relationship ride!
Stephanie Bailey has been writing books on relationships since 2003 and just began her blog Miss-Reflections in November of 2011 which is a mixture of relationships and life experiences. Visit her blog to learn more: www.missreflections.posterous.com.
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Editor: Cassandra Smith