The Space Between
These past few days I’ve spent in my bed thinking and reflecting (blankets serve a great dual purpose of shielding out the negative energy of a day and providing ample coziness to make us feel comfortable in our bigger thinking projects).
I was thinking over my sadness. For you see, in a bizarre twist of fate and wild turn of events that no one could ever predict or see, I found myself standing alone and seemingly defenseless in a sea of angry people. Not just one or two, as we sometimes experience in our day to day—rather, quite literally thousands. With this many people and that much negative energy, it seemed my email box spilled over with more hateful sentiment than I was swiftly able to delete.
Those who did not know me and had never once experienced my energy, nor came close to really knowing my heart—they all felt some push to share. Well, it suffices to say that people can be quite cruel in their general observations of the world and all of the beautiful people in it.
Since I am often wandering mindlessly along my path, in careful reflection and thinking about all the wonderful things in this world and along my way, it came as quite a shock that I had missed this “great ugliness.”
I will be honest—initially, this new understanding of the “other” side of the human heart was so completely overwhelming that it kept me hidden under my sheets until I felt it safe to come out again.
If truth be told, I don’t think I stopped crying in all of those two days I spent hidden under my sheets. Even as I write this, I am still very much overwhelmed and saddened by having come this close to touching hate. I know in my heart that what I experienced is just the smallest slice of the greater whole of what exists inside the rest of this very real world.
I’m not so much saddened by what was said—these words, without context, have no greater impact on my spirit. Rather, I am most sad that this energy was shared. I have always been of the very simple opinion that it takes so little to share kindness, even less to offer compassion and less still, the ability to look to another and see that there is a heart and spirit on the other side.
I guess I have always felt—in an awfully Buddhist sort of way—that we’re all part of the same fabric, interconnected through some greater energy and unlimited by any boundaries between us. When I look to others, I truly see all the wonderful ways in which we are connected and interconnected—I see how much we truly share. Sometimes when looking to others, I see myself. But always when looking to others, I see their hearts.
I realized that the only thing that keeps us all from knowing that level of closeness is this space in between that we either fill with love or with reasons to keep us apart. In my space in between, I will always choose to have closeness. I will always choose to find compassion and the energy to be greater than any other illusions that might try to nudge their way in. But mostly, in the space in between, I shall always choose to find love.
Try as they might to change me through their opinion—I will always be true to my own spirit. You can’t dim the sun by slipping on a pair of shades—the light is always the same, however you try to change it. Just as the space between is just as we choose and will it forever to be.
I feel very sad for those who were so greatly unkind because they are the only ones keeping themselves away from truly unconditional love.
Sometimes, it’s the space we create that is keeping us from what we want and need most.
Editor: Malin Bergman