How to Make Love to an Angel. {NFSW}

Via Tom Grasso (Gyandeva)
on Sep 1, 2012
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How to Make Love to An Angel
photo: flickr/Nicola Romagna

Hopefully, we are all making love to an Angel.

Hopefully, we know they are Angels enough to not be fucking them. Yes, there are people in our experience that we are fucking—and there are people, in our experience, that we make love to.

What’s the difference?

Well, making love isn’t about love. It’s about Love. There is a difference.

It seems most of us fall in love from a purely physical perspective, first; we desire the beautiful flower we see and we wish to pollinate it as quickly as we can.

We, men especially, find her “hot” and adore the curves that make up that “hotness.”

We love her breasts, her ass, her lips, her face, her hair…whatever goes into making us hard before we even know her name. Yes, I’m speaking in generalities here but that is necessary in order to see the bigger picture, rather than to focus on a specific pixel.

Then we make love.

Making love is fucking in a way that makes us both feel better about doing it; it’s about pleasure and the eventual orgasm.

Hopefully, we were able to make her cum too but, generally, we don’t even care if she faked it or not. In fact, she usually fakes it to assuage the same ego that caused us to enter her in the first place. Foreplay, if it exists, is usually there to get her wet and get us hard—that’s the purpose it serves and even some of the most renown sexual therapists in the world suggest that is the only purpose foreplay serves.

Sure, they may talk about it making the sexual experience better…but they never really tell us how or why it makes it better (probably because doctors themselves often discount the value of a good, spiritual understanding, in favor of the purely physical one.)

If the sex is great, we “fall in love”. We become monogamous. We even get married, have kids and “settle down” based on the very physical love we have fallen into.

Sure, there are times when we find an emotional connection and that seems to magnify the physical one. There are some instances where we “wait until marriage” to have sex—but even then, most of our connections are physical, with an emotional twist. We commit to the physical and emotional components of love, without ever going beyond them.

Soon, our lives fall into boredom; we become complacent and that monogamy becomes celibacy for the most part…sex becomes as infrequent as a good conversation between partners.

We fall out of love and into the routine of “love”.

We remain faithful to the ideal or, sometimes, we “cheat” and find the missing egoic pleasure elsewhere. When we are caught—or admit to it—or even leave our spouses for the “other”, we don’t hurt the physical connection, because it no longer exists. Rather, we hurt the only thing left to the relationship; it is the shell of an emotional connection that remains. We hurt our egos and we hurt our emotional selves.

We are not taught as children how to find the missing components in our relationships—we are surely taught the physical components to our relationships. Mothers hold their babies soon after birth to “bond”, that is to gain a physical connection to one another. Then, an emotional connection is forged. It is rare that the missing—and to me the most vital component—is created or taught…and that is the spiritual component.

The Divine Trinity of Love

Any real, loving relationship must have three components; first, let me explain that the difference between love and Love.

Love (big L) is a spiritual Love that goes beyond the confines of ego; to quote the famous definition of Love from Corinthians:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Ego cannot allow love to meet this definition. Sure, it can allow for any one component to be met, as long as it serves itself—but it simply could not allow the entirety of the definition to be met.

Ego could allow patience—but only in a self-serving manner; it could allow for kindness—but only if the outcome serves ego. In reality, it cannot the meet entire definition, because that would eliminate egoic power.

Love (small “l”) is what most of us experience in our lifetimes.

We desire our partners, care for them. We can be patient with them, kind to them. We may not be jealous or boastful or so on. Yet, eventually, we will fail to meet any of the criteria set in this definition. Ego isn’t interested in longevity—unless that longevity is self-serving. In most cases, for instance, the goal of egoic love is to satisfy our physical needs with someone we desire. Once that physical need or desire is gone, so is the love.

Love (big “L”) meets that definition completely. The ego is always involved to some degree but usually to show us the strength of the Love we feel.

It creates jealousy, for example, in order for us to see the Love we feel. Ego will make us impatient from time to time, in order to show us the patience we have in Love. Ego’s purpose here shifts from one where ego is the focus to one where ego is the supporting cast, providing us focus on the Love we feel. Ultimately, I believe that this is ego’s true purpose in our human experience; we simply need to reign it in and becomes its master versus it’s prisoner.

Now that this is an understanding, let’s gain an understanding of the Divine Trinity of Love.

When you are in Love with another human being, you are completely connected—not just physically and emotionally,as all others “in love” are—but you are also connected spiritually. This is the vital missing component in most of our human relationships—we don’t develop the spiritual connection that unites not just our bodies and our emotions…but also our souls.

This isn’t something that we can create—this, to me, is a connection forged an eternity ago.

It is, however, undeniable in its necessity and its power. How do you know if you have found it?

Well, I can’t assume that all experiences are the same. I can, however, suggest that in mine, it is truly indescribable. It’s like you are a cup being filled with something you can’t describe; it feels like a wave of energy that awakens your physical and emotions beings—it magnifies the physical and heightens the emotional components to who you are.

Yet, it is not physical or emotional but is the master of both.

You can be connected to someone spiritually and not be connected physically or emotionally. You can find someone who you are connected with spiritually, physically and emotionally and, for whatever reason, fall out of that connection physically and/or emotionally. The spiritual connection always remains but perhaps they aren’t “with you” anymore emotionally. Maybe you connect with them spiritually and physically but, through whatever reason, they can’t open up to you emotionally. Because the Trinity is not present, you are not in Love.

Being in Love denotes a connection spiritually, physically and emotionally.

This connection is usually the essence of a truth far greater than anyone can describe. It is strong because it is based in Divinity. The physical and emotional components are based in our humanity, where the spiritual component is based in the Divine presence we cannot describe.

It’s why that spiritual connection, if it is true, can never be broken whereas the human components are the first to fall (if they fall at all).

Who is Your Angel?

Most of us can call the person we love an angel.

She may be the sweetest person ever to grace this planet…but she is not your Angel. Your Angel (again, notice the capitalization used to denote the egoic versus the Divine) is the person who meets the Divine Trinity of Love.

You are connected to her spiritually, physically and emotionally; you can feel her in the room without ever opening your eyes, you walk similar paths and you don’t always think or feel the same way, but you are certainly “patient and kind” with the differences. She is there to protect you—and vice versa.

Once you have found her, the spiritual connection becomes very noticeable. You know it because it is not like any other feeling you’ve ever had. Yes, the Universe communicates in feelings, not words, so when you feel you have met your Angel you will know it.

No, an erection is not usually the way the Universe tells you your Angel has just entered the room in the beginning, although in time that could certainly be the case.

For me, that feeling begins in the area of my heart chakra and radiates outward; it is the heart “skipping a beat” feeling. I feel it every time I see her and every moment I am in her presence. I feel it in every touch, in every kiss, in every moment of intimacy. I even hear it when that sound I have assigned her telephone calls and texts rings out from my phone. Sometimes, I can even feel it before the sound arrives.

In my experience, I was physically connected at the same time the spiritual realization occurred. I’m not 100% certain but I believe that she actually became more beautiful because of the spiritual connection.

I hadn’t spoken to her, I hadn’t seen her outside of a picture on my computer screen and I knew.

Imagine that.

Here I was, oogling a beautiful woman, feeling a wave of energy radiating from my heart chakra…and I had never even spoken a word to her.

It wasn’t a real sexual desire I had, which was completely different for me. I just thought her beauty took my breath away (probably because of my heart “skipping a beat”) and that wave of energy. I didn’t truly want her sexually until our first meeting—and then the great spiritual desire magnified the physical desire. By then we had talked and the emotional connection was certainly there.

Yes, we had fallen into the Holy Trinity of Love (or at least I had).

How to Make Love to Your Angel

This is the most interesting part of the experience; close your eyes and imagine along with me.

Your touch is guided by a feeling you have. You shut that part of your mind down that focuses on getting your penis into her vagina or your mouth onto her breasts and you just feel.

It’s completely meditative and for those of you who meditate, the practice is the same; you still your mind and follow your feelings.

If you are spiritually connected, her soul will tell you all you need to know. It will guide your hands to the right places in the right way. Your mouth will become magical, your tongue a tool for complete pleasure. You will spend hours just touching her body, kissing her everywhere and she will experience great pleasure from the action.

I know, there are some egos out there saying “fuck that, just fuck me” but if that is what you are saying, then you are not in the Divine Trinity of Love.

Sure, there are times when Divine Lovers “just fuck”—but they are always in a heightened state of awareness with each other, even when getting a “quickie” in before going to work.

So, the first step is to quiet the drunken monkey we call our minds. Listen to the feelings that are there and follow them. You will feel her energy and it will be your guide. You will see her skin tingle and you will mirror her feelings.

You will find so much joy in the foreplay that you will not even want it to stop.

Yes, here is the tricky part: you have to be willing to allow her to do the same to you.

She cannot forge a connection with you, unless she is allowed to find it.

Let her touch you, give you pleasure and share the joy with her. Do not hide a thing—let every moan, groan and scream come out of you, regardless if your best friends will think you are a woman for it.

Let it go.

You aren’t there to please society’s version of manhood—you are there to satisfy your Angel’s needs for complete unity.

Be yourself and allow her to explore that beautiful physical expression that is you while you do the same to her.

Insertion is secondary in this experience; it is but one part of the overall experience. You will enter her, perhaps but you will do so because the feeling tells you too (no, not the feeling in your little head but the feeling that is coming from her).

In this, you will gain pleasure yourself…great pleasure. When you are in Love, there is no greater pleasure for you than the pleasure of your Lover; you’ll see, if you haven’t already, when the time comes for you to stop fucking and start Loving.

I can’t get into the mechanics (insert collective boos from the audience) because I have no idea what your Angel’s Soul wants; all I can tell you is that you need to listen to it and it will tell you all you need to know.

Throw away the sexual instruction manuals you’ve read; forget the porn you saw that told you if you bend her this way, she will squirt all over your bedroom. Get rid of your preconceived notions of what works and what doesn’t and simply listen to your Angel; you’ll find everything you need to find—and know everything you’ll need to know, once you drop your veil, still your mind…and listen.

The adage “Be still and know that I am God” doesn’t just apply to sitting in a lotus position, repeating a mantra—or kneeling in a church,droning on some prayer.

When you still your mind with your Angel, your Lover, you will know who She is. You will feel her invade your Entirety and share in your Being.

There, right there, is a bond that can never be broken, even if the Trinity falls apart. She will forever be a part of you and you her, and you will always hear her in your Soul, speaking a language few understand.

I pray for the day when most of us understand that language. I think that first, we need to be taught it—and that change always starts with me.

Say this: the change begins with me…and then shut up and listen. You’ll fall, crumpled onto the bed, after a few hours wondering where the time went.

She’ll then touch you and you’ll spend a couple of hours more listening.



Editor: Bryonie Wise

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About Tom Grasso (Gyandeva)

Tom Grasso is a Colorado-based seeker, meditator, blogger (new site), and creative wordsmith. More importantly, he is a father of three (meaning he is also a lecturer, teacher, chef, order taker, taxi driver, coach, mentor and aspirin addict) and has found great joy in sharing his life experience to the benefit of others. Tom is an abuse survivor and a reformed (though unapologetic) bad ass warrior who bares the scars of his adventures and the power of transformation in every word he writes. As a former firefighter and rescue tech, Tom understands the fragility of life and the impermanence of each moment. You can follow Tom on Tumblr , and can find his books on Amazon. You will soon be able to purchase Tom's short stories (and erotica) at Don't forget to like his "blog page" at Tom Grasso, Writer on Facebook.  


14 Responses to “How to Make Love to an Angel. {NFSW}”

  1. jill says:

    Beautiful and true! Thank you

  2. Angel says:

    …until she doesn’t want to be your facebook friend; then, fuck it, all bets are off.

  3. Angel says:

    Forgive me, Tom, but I will not delete these comments as you’ve requested. I take issue with you writing about Us as the pinnacle of Divinity, our relationship as something to aspire to, when behind the public proclamation of bliss you are threatening me with its end because I will not respond to a social media friend request. What we have, what you’ve described here, is far more miraculous than such a requirement of transparency in the insignificant lessens it to. So here I am – transparent. Are you truly so willing to throw it all away?

  4. EJC says:

    Great article :)
    Is the Divine Trinity of Love something you came up with yourself or is there other resource material for it?
    I came to the same conclusion on my own recently, the connections between Spiritual Attraction, Physical Attraction and Emotional Attraction- I want to know if there is any more info on this or other people talking about it. Thanks~

  5. Jessica says:

    Thank you for writing this. It is so beautiful and sexy all at once. I don't know about all women, but I know that is what this woman ultimately desires when I find my next long term relationship.

  6. tomgrasso says:

    And that, Jessica, is where I am heading in my next piece… <3 Thank you!

  7. rich says:

    what a bunch of mental masturbation … wow.

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