The Importance of Saying “F*ck It.”

Via on Sep 28, 2012
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Ultimately, I just had to say it.

Why?

Because I’m dancing every day for the next year and I don’t wanna.

Well, part of me doesn’t. The other part is completely stoked and relieved that I’m finally getting my ass in gear. But that first part? It’s been hanging out in the back of my mind for a while now, quietly resisting the call to adventure. Feeling too tired to go out. Fretting about how the boozy crowds won’t really be there to dance. Doubting the quality of sound at an unknown venue. Feeling too intimidated to try a new class. Fear that I’m not good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough to really be a dancer. Anything to keep me from really doing it.

But I’ve hit my breaking point. It’s not a choice anymore. F*ck it.

I’ve been resistant to dance since I started pursuing it seriously in high school. When I joined a pre-professional company, getting out of school early every day to perfect my pirouette for 3 hours, I started getting chronic headaches, injuries, fatigue.

On one hand, I knew that the traditional professional dance world, with its pink tights and competition, wasn’t really for me. But on the other, I was afraid I couldn’t do it. At 17, after spending a summer studying with the Juilliard dance faculty, I stopped. Just like that. Didn’t think about it much.

Looking back, I see that I didn’t believe in myself enough to keep going.

Fast-forward four years to my first Burning Man.

The open desert, bass heavy glitch hop, and steady stream of psychedelics combine with the atmosphere of radical self-expression to break me open. I start dancing again. This is not the dance of broken toenails and counts of “5, 6, 7, 8!” to perfection. This is a dance of unbridled creativity: my limbs carving through space strong and courageous, feet and beat effortlessly united. No right or wrong. Just the beauty of what wants to come through.

From that first peak dance experience, I make it my mission to gain the same level of access to my own creativity without substances. To learn how to get out of the way and let the rhythm move through me unobstructed. It takes a couple years to commit to that mission more than once or twice a month when my favorite DJs came into town. When I do, I find the 5rhythms practice, and that dance floor becomes my laboratory.

Fast-forward again to August 2012, my first year away from the desert since my hunger for dance was turned back on.

I’ve been dancing a few times a week for a few years now. Just enough to feel like I haven’t fallen back off the path. But I haven’t exactly been on it either. Not all the way. At the end of every class, every party, the sweat-soaked blissful me declares, “I need to do this every day.” The next day, resistance invariably shows up, and I don’t.

So this project serves a couple of purposes.

One: to face resistance head on, and deal with whatever comes up instead of being ruled by it.

Two: to discover what happens when I dance every day. This is my venture into the unknown of what happens when I really go for it. The thing I’ve been afraid to fully show up for since the moment I discovered it was what I wanted more than anything.

F*ck it. F*ck not acting as if this life is the miraculous gift it is. F*ck not showing up with everything I have to give. Because it is, and I am.

Watch what happens.

~

Editor: Brianna Bemel

 

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About Natasha Blank

Natasha Blank is a dancer, dj, integrative healer, and the founder of Get Your Dance On. She creates collective experiences that feed our hunger for life through radical self expression, and plays in the spaces where creativity and healing meet. She is also in the midst of dancing every single day for a year, and invites you to join her. You can find out more about her journey at Get Your Dance On

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31 Responses to “The Importance of Saying “F*ck It.””

  1. Shawna Turner shawna says:

    Natasha, I just watched your video. free flowin! amazing! i love your ‘fuck it’ project. I actually just started a ‘no shit experiment’ of my own. Focusing on different things over the year that will bring me more happiness. A dance month is on my list. A dance year sounds even better!!! enjoy every step!! looking forward to reading about it!!

    • so awesome shawna!! i love the dance month idea, and would LOVE to hear how it goes for you. feel free to email me at gydo.nyc (at) gmail.com and share your experience…..and any videos you happen to create! i'll be posting other people's dance experiments on my blog as well.

      • Mary says:

        Natasha, we are soul sisters! I just found out about you – you go girl! In 2009-2010 I made a dance video everyday and posted it to my blog http://www.thefreebox.org. It was a mammoth project – as you well know! I'm reinventing again and would love to interview you for my new site which is launching in the next few months. If you're up for it, you can reach me at mary (at) thefreebox.org Sending you a big hug and keep up the great energy!

  2. Denise says:

    I love this! I dance every day on the way to work on the street, on the subway platform and in my seat on the train, at my desk at work. It brings me joy and smiles especially when I’m doing things I’d rather not be doing. Dancing is passion, and I love that you are doing this. See you on the dancefloor sister!

    • Denise, that is amazing. I'm collecting stories + videos of people who dance (or want to start dancing) every day – and posting them on my blog. Would love to hear more! gydo.nyc (at) gmail.com

      Rock on!!!

  3. billy d says:

    Fuck it. :)

    Moving with souls like you I realeye eac day that its not so much about dancing , its more about letting go and saying Fuggggg Eat

    Keep it moving blank

  4. DaveTelf says:

    ooohhh yeeaahh go get it! so inspiring. thanks for sharing!

  5. Dj Drez says:

    F['k it! Let's Dance!

  6. Stephanie says:

    What an inspiration you are Natasha! Thank you for sharing your story…it is one i know well ;) Please dance your way on over to Hawaii !! BIG LOVE sister. Shine on

  7. Vision_Quest2 says:

    What a shout-out for 5 Rhythms! Because that and belly dance and Bollywood dance downloads/videos … are keeping me doing yoga, too …

    Way-to-go Staccato rhythm in that video … !

    • Fun!! Which dance videos do you use? I've been craving some structured dance forms I don't have to leave home and venture to a class for…

      • Vision_Quest2 says:

        Well, since I found out about her here on EJ, I am very happy with my first Dolphina video (purchased off Amazon), "Cardio Bellydance" … and, of course, I have Hemalayaa's "Bollywood Boogie" off of Amazon Unbox, and another dvd called "Bollywood Party Workout" … but the my yoga website had gotten me started with her "Bollywood Dance Workout", which became increasingly tough on my knees over time … and … I've tried out Amira Mor and own Leilainia and Gillian Cofsky videos from my yoga … Although Gillian Cofsky is more workout than Belly Dance forms, her instruction is precise–and actually, Bollywood and belly dance are enough to play a much-deserved hooky (hookah-inspired hooky?) from yoga … (less-so from pilates–these dance forms cross train better with any mat pilates you ever want to do …) …

        Over time, they really can deepen your 5 Rhythms practice … I'd found out so as I'd just returned from a class that I take occasionally …

  8. Penny says:

    Fuck it! I'm in!

    • AWESOME Penny. I'll be creating a community outlet for everyone who wants to jump into dancing every day VERY soon! Feel free to email me at gydo.nyc@gmail.com to get involved and stay supported :)

      • Nezha says:

        Natasha,

        I am Nezha, I love your story and I share it.
        I am dancing every day everywhere. I am traveling from last January (Spain, France, Germany, Canada, USA – now I am in NY until end of Oct, Argentina and Brazil) dancing everyday. I am impro dancer. I love Site specifc dance.

        I would love to dance with you!!!

        Let's do our dance "camino" be together!!!

  9. Tamara says:

    Natasha, I so appreciate you sharing these words. There is so much that I relate to and your inspiration is exactly what I needed right now. So yeah….Fuck it!!!! Fuck that I’m going through a divorce, fuck what others think of me, fuck that I feel like I’m falling apart sometimes, fuck that I feel sad sometimes……cause I have my dance, which reminds me to let go, brings me to my happy place, and reminds me that I am strong.

    I look forward to sharing the dance floor with you again soon.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you Natasha!

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  11. cassandralanesmith says:

    Holy crap this is awesome. And you are awesome Natasha. I am always telling people their life could be radically different if they made dance a part of their daily routine. I used to dance at Boston Ballet, and I during my 16 years of training I definitely experienced that feeling of resistance to the practice. Now that dance is not my main focus, I find myself wishing constantly that it was! Thanks so much for spreading the word of dance, here of some articles I've written on dance if you'd like to check them out http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/05/play-with-http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/06/dancing-wi

  12. Tom Giffin says:

    Fanfrikentastic! Any chance you'll be headed out to Seattle? would love to let it rip on the dance floor with you :-) been a closet dancer most of my life and in the last year i have unleashed the energy of free flowing movement that can't be stopped! Now i love dancing where ever i go! such and amazing tool dance is! Thanks for going for it and putting yourself out there. ;-)

  13. Wish I'd known Tom, I was just there! Where do you dance in Seatown? ever done 5rhythms there?

    If you want to follow my antics, sign up for the weekly email here: http://www.getyourdanceon.net/
    And if you want to get crazy and dance every day too, I send out music + rad videos every single day (signup for that is also on the getyourdanceon site).

    Rock on!

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