Yes, Yes, Yes: My Student Seduced Me.

Via on Sep 22, 2012
sexy lip
Photo credit: lucyburrluck

So he busted my lip. I’ll explain….

It was so unintentional, this make out session with a seriously attractive and attentive practitioner. Seriously.

Yes, I chose to ignore the opportunity to stop his advances on several occasions over the past three years.

Yes, I didn’t pull away once he thrust his hands around my well exposed nape post class while pushing me up against the wall in hallway to take my lips into his.

Yes, I agreed to let him follow me home to continue the tongue swapping secretly joyous while playing it cool, that indeed I relished in the sensations of his fingers as they ran across my legs, my back, my hair.

Yes, I had every intention of staying fully clothed once we made our way to my sexy round bed. It sleeps four, in case you are wondering.

The universe knows me better than that though and decided to make sure I stopped dead before this tryst got too far out of hand.

Bang!

“Are you okay?” he says, to me after my head dives straight against the edge of my nightstand. “Shit. I need ice.” Breathe in, breathe out I say to myself. God that sounds awfully condescending. I think and wonder why I have yet to have a student throw a prop at me when stupid shit like that comes pouring out of my mouth. I’m in pain—acute and not funny.

Puppies are aggressive when excited and as he lifted to turn me over the trajectory of my jaw and lower lip were in perfect harmony with the hardwood table I scored last week on Craigslist for my new apartment.

That’s right, new apartment post breakup. It’s like a perch high above the flood plane where gracious floors and lots of light assist me in my daily musings. It took a week to move one carload at a time—once I wrangled a few boys with muscle to assist with the heaviest items. I was then able to unpacked and set up shop for the next chapter of my evolving life. I’ve already taken two men home! I had tried for a third, but he rebuffed me for another woman. Oh well, can’t win them all.

Don’t Judge.

I know them both, the two I scored. First is a man who I am very much attracted to but have unfortunately already trained him to only expect me naked once a week post shower and the student…well, let’s just say I did not plan that. I have rules about that. We all have rules about that. Rules are important right, to keep us all out of trouble and in order to protect the practice of those that trust us to lead them.

I liked it though. Wouldn’t you? Smells of sweat and salt as mouths intertwine for the first time to tunes emanating from my iPod dock and the giggles seeping past heavy breaths as bodies pressed and candles flickered. I’m not so sure I was the one in control really. All our wires got crossed and the boundaries seemed to have shifted underfoot. That was unexpected.

I woke up to teach my morning 6:00 a.m. class after less then four hours of fitful sleep. My bed was warm however, since I allowed him to stay and cuddle me. I was practicing Ahimsa after all, couldn’t chuck him out on his ass after all that.

Lonely can be prevented with the wave of a hand, three glasses of wine, two piles of cheese and a well placed glance across the bar.

Throwing out all the rules, I chose to play and the sweet sassy Universe had made sure I spent the day thinking about what I had done. There are consequences for every action we take. Sometimes, they are immediate. For me, the consequences are especially fast these days. I feel like a manifesting machine. I thought about that all day as I drained my lip twice and put salt on the wound.

Seemed appropriate.

There is this odd convergence of events I am experiencing. Having exited a relationship that had turned stagnant I have realized that I am a super charged sexual creature and the more yoga I do, the healthier I am, the more in touch with my inner voice I get it turns out she’s screaming at the top of her lungs, touch me touch me touch me! Famished. It’s in my star chart, I checked. I’m like a 16-year-old boy. Dirty Thirty is right.

How do we then go about healthy explorations of our sexual nature while navigating social standards, the pitfalls of sharing our DNA with the wrong type of person, while engaging in a spiritual practice that is very much physical and for me extremely effective at igniting my passions without wholly fulfilling them, and with the maturity to undertake all of this with humility and grace.

Perhaps it is time to connect with a new teacher. To seek instruction on how to manage this voracious appetite of mine.  Surely I am not the only one. Maybe they were right not to allow women or householders to explore this yoga. Perhaps we can’t in fact handle its outcomes.

In the meantime, I will meditate on these experiences and work toward being clear with my boundaries and honest about my desires. My student will have to find a new teacher, I will need to make amends, and I’ll put a quarter between my knees and tape over my lips the next time I go out. Perhaps, it’s a good time to start painting again. Throw that iPod on and instead of spinning my head in space with another man I shall sling paint, spread glitter, and hit the pillow injury free at the end of the night.

If it were satisfying, that would be priceless.

 

~
Editor: Colleen Simpson

Like  elephant journal gets sexy on Facebook.

About Shelley Adelle

Shelly Adelle is a entrepreneur, yoga teacher, spiritual enthusiast and experimental human with a passion for accessible yoga and energy work. Shelley brings joy to each class and encourages you to connect to the voice of the great teacher within! Shelley spent almost ten years in NYC where she studied with the top teachers in the industry including Shiva Rea, Dharma Mitra, Anna Forest, Jonathan Fields, Schuyler Grant and many others. An artist, life-coach, reiki practitioner, writer, blogger, friend, former military brat, farm girl from Texas, soap store goddess and actress check out more at www.shelleyadelle.com , www.yogapagodavero.com, yoganonymous.org/author/shelley-adelle/. Email & Tweet Me: shelleyadelle@gmail.com @shelleyadelle. Be Blessed, Be Bold, Be Loved.

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29 Responses to “Yes, Yes, Yes: My Student Seduced Me.”

  1. nunh says:

    I like your honesty in this article – nice.

  2. Dearbhla Kelly Dearbhla says:

    I don't really understand your motivation for writing this article…is it a confessional/supposed to shock us/statement of intention do do more sahdhana?

    • Julian Walker yogijulian says:

      yea i am a bit unsure too…. it is very well written and very confessional. as a student i would either want to now run the other way or i would take it as an invitation to hit on you.

      as a fellow teacher i am a bit uncomfortable and as a trainer of teachers this would perhaps be something i would use as a cautionary example of how not to let your personal process disrupt your professional boundaries and ethics.

      i wonder too if this is just way to get exposure for you and your blog as perhaps you are more interested in being a writer than a teacher?

  3. calhy says:

    Ditto, confession?Brag? everyone, most of us have this problem.. being helahty and wanting normal healthy sex drive sex. The nightstand and needing ice is nto a punishment. Nor is 3 glasses of wine

  4. Dylan says:

    hahaha, come on folks, its a cute write up.hahaha, come on folks, its a cute write up.
    "There is this odd convergence of events I am experiencing. Having exited a relationship that had turned stagnant I have realized that I am a super charged sexual creature and the more yoga I do, the healthier I am, the more in touch with my inner voice I get it turns out she’s screaming at the top of her lungs, touch me touch me touch me!! Famished. It’s in my star chart, I checked. I’m like a 16-year-old boy. Dirty Thirty is right."
    i love sexy 30 year olds.

  5. Joe Sparks says:

    Wow! most of us our confused in this area, and have been abused around sex and closeness. We all deserve to have sex with someone who cares and loves us deeply. Most of us feel lonely and unlovable and will compromise in the hope that this person will care for us no matter what! What we don’t realize is the person we are having sex with feels just as lonely and bad. Why else would we agree to drink lots of alcohol before sex? Might have to notice the person we are having sex with. Very scary! Not very enjoyable or relaxing if you are trying to live in the moment. Good luck!

  6. Shelley Adelle Shelley says:

    Alcohol, Cheese, Bars, Shopping, Over Eating, Making Out …it all leads to dis-ease when undertaken to mask our true feelings.

    Point being that we are all apt to make decisions for immediate gratification over our long term spiritual/life goals. Far from confessional, it’s a composite to illustrate the crux we find ourselves in.

    How do we find Balance?

    XO

    • Scott says:

      There's a time to use "we" in writing, and a time to use "I". Don't try to pull others into your boat of debauchery. You make your own bed. Don't assume everyone's veil of avidya is as blinding as yours. There are numerous people (including yoga teachers) that have transcended choosing immediate gratification over a wiser choice. For many, there is no crux and taking the moral high road is not a decision. It is just what some choose right(eous)ly. There are many teachers today leading people astray with the message "it's okay to be human". Though it may be, it's also wise to follow a higher intuition that naturally prevents one from wallowing in the primordial mud of animalistic behavior. You want to "find" balance? Balance is not a thing. Balance is the symptom of the sum of choices you make leading to how you live your life. You can start "finding your balance" by teaching with your writing instead of using it to promote your agenda of promiscuity.

  7. Annie Ory says:

    EJ is posting a lot of pseudo-porn lately, dirty confessions about student/teacher and teacher/student seductions; videos of girls with HUGE boobs bouncing on bikes; camera angles all atwitter; ratings dropping? 50 Shades carry-over? Trying to appeal to a different audience?

    Having a pretty interesting life of my own, I disagree with those who say this is well written pseudo-porn. The last piece, by the man who told the VERY long story of being systematically seduced by his teacher training teacher, was well written, this one is boring. It's also self aggrandizing nonsense. I haven't seen much on Ele that's worth reading lately. What's up with that?

  8. ohgrowup says:

    The author has no internal moral barometer. She doesn't know what she wants to be when she grows up and is still narrating herself to herself like a teenager. Who to be? Carrie what's-her-face from "Sex and the City?" Her student's manic pixie dreamgirl? The little horny teenager from "Turn Me On!" ? Marlo Thomas in "That Girl?" If you have sex with a student, call yourself dirty thirty, declare yourself sexually powerfu, twirl around and throw your hat up in the air and sing "You're gonna make it after all!" does all that make things better? Ugly behavior and stupid choices don't get better by tossing pink glitter over them and breathlessly "confessing" while actually bragging. Grow up.

  9. Lauren says:

    Thank you, Oh Grow Up. Nice to hear such clarity.

  10. Anne Falkowski Anne says:

    I thought in the end the author did get that she needed to be more responsible with her sexual energy. If the author was just a yogi, I don't think there was anything wrong with the choices she was making but because she is a yoga teacher, she is playing with fire.In the writing though, she says that she gets that. I do think the writing is very good and sexually provocative. Shelly does bring up a good point, yoga can ignite intense feelings of sexuality. I agree with her that she should find a yoga teacher, that won't seduce her, and help her work through it. My guess is there is something that needs to be worked out . And don't we all have stuff that needs to be worked through. I know I do.

  11. Scott says:

    One time at band camp….

  12. cathy says:

    oh grow up said it! Right on!

  13. Dash says:

    This article is well written with honest candid content! The author does not condone her experience with the student but explains the nature of how such can happen. Having done yoga since childhood I can attest to the challenges of finding a partner that truly enjoys intimacies to the degree of a individual that maintains a comparable healthy lifestyle. No judgments… all learning… this article is very beneficial for awareness of where we come from as teachers, individuals… students are we all. For me this speaks to the truth of the importance not only of fain religious moral standards but intelligent life solutions such as a non-student partner that appreciates some of life’s finer qualities. This article makes me very thankful for my partner… just sayin’

    • saying says:

      No, actually, it’s mostly giddy self-dramatization with a few gestures towards responsibility. Yes, we have to practice judgement. It’s called “discernment” now, but it’s always been the same thing: use your judgement faculties. Practice ethics, esp at work. Don’t s–it where you eat. No amount of puerile lust or wistful loneliness excuses this bs or makes it attractive. It’s not cute or charming or funny, and it’s not “brave and honest” to “confess.” This is not confession, It’s bragging. Learn? If she thinks all she has to do it “find another teacher,” she hasn’t learned anything. She needs to get over herself and learn some professionalism. And yes, as some one else say, GROW UP.
      These entries make yoga teachers AND students to dumb as a bag of hammers. Just….stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

  14. Edward Staskus says:

    As a story it is OK, has structure, but as something to do with yoga, even though terms such as ahimsa, karma, and meditation are bantered about, I do not see that connection. I would say the behavior of the protagonist in the story is giddy, on the order of a one-night stand. How it has anything to do with the practice of yoga, either the asanas or the many spiritual aspects of it, is beyond me.

  15. JoeC2K says:

    Big deal! A grown woman wants to fuck guys… I don't see how she compares herself to a 16 year old boy though… Anyway, where's the seduction part of the story? If you're looking for feedback, here's mine – Go ahead and indulge your voracious appetite. I feel that more woman should embrace that appetite.

    • sareeeh says:

      Really? So, okay, let’s have all the most childish, narcissistic, self-indulgent yoga teachers just openly fuck their students right in class….yeah man…. that’s really….liberating and stuff. Just like showing your tits on EJ … yeah man, really TANTRA and all. Free the boobs! Free the clitoris!Call it a yuni and spread that shit a-ROUND. Wow. SO rad. SO original. Cause, you know, doing whatever you want and giggling about it openly is SUCH a sign of being free and enlightened.

      • sareeeh says:

        What’s the difference between that and the dumbest rock and roll groupie scenes from the 70s? Yogis gone wild, man. SOOOOOOO HIP! Why not just find whatever remains of REO Speedwagon and go on tour with them? Or Styx. Or — hey, Loverboy! I bet those bright cherry red pants still fit nice and tight.
        That’s about the level of cool going on here.

        • JoeC2K says:

          Thanks for your reply to my feedback. My point is that maybe this focus and indulgence of her sexuality is a part of her growth and journey through life and it's a sticking point right now. So explore it and move on. I think this can be very liberating with the proper attitude and reverence. I'm not condoning childish and narcissistic behavior at all. I just don't see the big deal about a grown woman wanting to fuck other guys. Loverboy? LoL :-)

          • 1000nights says:

            I think the problem was that she was a yoga teacher and the guy she fucked was her student. I also don’t see any evidence of “seduce.” What a cop out! What an unprofessional, irresponsible idiot. These kinds of entries really do make yoga teachers look like brainless slime-balls with no ethics.

  16. Ryan says:

    Let's all do ouselves a favor and unsubscribe from this confused tribe of spiritual materialists!!!

  17. Lily says:

    I appreciated this article. It really resonates with me as a woman in her early 30s, a yoga teacher, trying to navigate both the dating scene and increasingly strong sexual urges. Nice to know someone out there is going through the same type of thing. As far as sleeping with the student is concerned, we all do things know we shouldn't, we make mistakes, learn, grow. It's all part of being perfectly imperfect in this very human experience.

    • pucky says:

      “Resonate?” “We’re all imperfect” — “learn grow” — blah blah blah — new age crap — irresponsible trip. If you’re in your thirties and still this immature, self-absorbed, self-justifying, morally dissolute, and lost, I hope I never, ever am a student alongside you, since you can screw your teachers w/o thinking it’s much of a big deal (we’re all imperect!”) and I hope I never, ever take a class from you, since you can screw your students and think it’s nothing more than “a learning experience.” Dear gods. What a bunch of amoral morons. You suck.

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