Be willing to let go of who you think you are, so you can become who you are meant to be.
“Do you want to be a writer?” someone asked me recently.
Who me? God, no. With my run on sentences that can go on and on for days and trailing thoughts that often times never come full circle and my less than perfect technical skills and over use of “…”
“But don’t you write on your blog? Then doesn’t that make you already a writer?”
Huh, I suppose. But no, because I am not a writer. That isn’t who I am.
In Buddhism this is called “ego-clinging.”
We get so stuck on our idea or image of who we think we are, that we can’t imagine being anything outside that self-defined box. I heard something recently that blows this self-defined role theory we create for ourselves out of the water:
If you have 200 friends, then you have 200 different interpretations of who you are.
Does this mean nobody really knows us? Or does this mean the way the world sees us is more true to our own true nature than we ever believed it to be, that our self-defined roles are ficticious? I think about how many times someone has paid me a compliment that I brushed off, thinking no that’s not me, I am not that fabulous/cool/smart whatever…
More times than I can count someone has also voiced a criticism they have of me that I brushed off with an air of disbelief and words like how could she think that of me! I am not that—only to find out later that they were actually spot on and were simply holding up a mirror to show me where I needed to focus some healing work on myself.
If you love, aren’t you a lover?
If you birth, aren’t you a mother?
If you teach, aren’t you a teacher?
If you laugh, is that not your laughter you hear?
If you dream, aren’t you a dreamer?
If you give, are you not a giver? If you smile, are you not at that moment a human smiling?
So if I write, am I not a writer?
So I write. I am a writer. Good or bad worries me not. I can say I am a writer because I write my thoughts and feelings honestly and freely. I don’t write for an audience although it looks like that is starting to change. The pieces I have produced that move people the most are those I wrote with no intention to ever share, probably because I can write with (reckless) abandon that way.
I write about my past, present and future and intertwine it all into one moment of clarity that brings light to my life as it is, right now. I pour my heart out.
Who am I to say what I am not? Who am I to stop myself in my own path? Whether I have consciously or unconsciously defined some of my roles in this universe, the roles are there. Whether I choose to free myself from the roles I play, or accept them as pieces of who I am, there is no arguing their presence.
I am a lover.
I am a mother.
I am a teacher.
I am laughter.
I am a dreamer.
I am a giver.
I am a human smiling.
I am a writer.
I am everything I do.
I am nothing that I don’t.
DO the things you want to do, because the things you want to do and who you want to become won’t just happen. Do them. Be willing to let go of who you think you are, so you can become who you are meant to be. A perfect version of you, just as you are, in everything you do.
Lauren Wessinger, Fort Worth Texas, 35 years old, yoga teacher and mother. I am not my writing. I am not my yoga. I am not the role society has put me in. I am not my past. I am not my future. I am not my possessions. I am not my thoughts. I am not my doubts. I am not my desires. I am not my religion. I am not my politics. I am simply a human on the path, just like you.
Editor: Jennifer Townsend