Accepting Our Emotions and Feeling Fully
It’s in these moments where writing comes naturally, when everything seems to have slipped from underneath me. The breaking point seems inevitable looking back over the past couple months. Totally not Zen of me, but I haven’t been very “yogic” all weekend. I noticed these ugly emotions of judgment, shame and anger that fill my belly when dealing with certain people.
Back tracking to the recent completion of a book called Cutting through Spiritual Materialism, I learned about the ability of our emotions to lead us to indescribable joy when transmuted properly. This occurs when we don’t repress or react inefficiently, but rather allow ourselves to be engulfed in it, to move deeper into it, so that it can transmute into a particular wisdom.
Of the five basic qualities, Vajra (anger), Ratna (pride), Padma (passion), Karma (jealousy) and Buddha (dullness), anger has surfaced quite frequently this week. It’s difficult to comprehend anger. In the past I’ve viewed it as unnecessary, a self-destruction that ruins relationships and creates tension in our bodies and in our interactions. This past week however, has changed my entire outlook on the emotion.
It’s just an emotion, another wave that comes and goes through our bodies. The book compares it to water. On one end of the spectrum, anger, like water can be cloudy, turbulent and murky—showing its aggression and defensive nature. However, on the other end of the spectrum water can appear clear, transparent and calm. Those qualities depict the “sharp, precise, clear reflectiveness of mirror-like wisdom.”
It’s one of those emotions (along with the other five) that we need to ride out. We need to recognize it deep in our belly, breath for a moment and allow it to transform to something of benefit for our family and ourselves.
The universe has a ridiculous sense of humor.
It’s too ironic and cannot be coincidental that the moment I finish reading about emotions and reflecting on the information, that I encounter anger intimately twice this week.
In one of the moments my love was the one engulfed with Vajra due to an upcoming event. He is exceptionally wise and without even reading what I had read was able to see past the cloudy and possessive qualities of anger, and create a conversation that was intuitive and clear. It left us both more open, understanding and left me feeling so lucky to be with a man who is able to channel his emotions in such an effective way.
I wasn’t as proficient in the lesson. I was overtaken with anger because a particular person was continually lying and I had finally hit the breaking point. No more Zen Sammy, no more breathing and repressing the emotions I felt towards this person, no more trying to be compassionate because he is a mirror of me, no, a conversation had to occur. So I called and I said what I had to say in a way that I hoped would be clear because it was honest.
A 15-minute conversation that has no particular happy ending, but truth, left me finally able to let go of our relationship because nothing is left for us to do but move on.
Though the remainder of my day has left me quite angry, even mildly depressed, I’m starting to cozy up to it. This week, anger has allowed me to transform one relationship, let go of another and this in turn has brought a certain level of peace in my body. Though I’m not incredibly excited to continue the journey with the other five, I will do so as intimately as I did with anger, allowing it to take me someplace new.
Being open to the emotion is necessary in order for it to become what it is meant to become.
Hopefully you’re able to join in for the adventure. Say what you need to say when you need to say it. It’s when we’re able to live in this authenticity and honesty that we can help other people around us. Hopefully my own crazy revelations can inspire you to look deep into anger, into desire or fear, whatever emotion you feel right now.
Looking deep with open arms so that it can take you someplace new, allowing you to transform, to make you question, to make you wise and more intuitive. So enjoy the journey, enjoy every wave because life is so beautiful and so crazy that all we can do is laugh when the world seems to fall from underneath us.
Sammy is a Canadian who loves to wander this beautiful world. She is a lover of the ocean, all things organic, and dancing. She is a self proclaimed yoga-loving, dog-walking, foodie of a woman. While teaching full time in Austin and beginning to bring her life’s purpose into reality, Sammy continues to find the time to write about those crazy revelations on and of the mat. Follow her on Twitter if you’d like to link up to other writings, or have some tea and enjoy the day.
Editor: Maja Despot
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