I Don’t Know How I Feel About Next Year. ~ Beth Weaver Culpepper
The year 2012 is like a big marriage balloon that’s on the verge of popping.
I don’t know how I feel about next year.
Initially, it had nothing to do with one particular thing, it simply was the number.
Then, as I was driving to the store this morning, service men and women were on the radio wishing area people happy holidays. One man mentioned 2013. At that moment, which seemed even more significant because I had come to a stop sign, I questioned what 2013 means.
For an uncountable (and I only say uncountable because I don’t know) number of years we have heard about 2012. The Mayans. The end of the world. Age of Aquarius. Beginning Kali Yuga. 2012.
We hardly know what that number means, let alone where we are going. While considering this, marriage popped into my head. The year 2012 is like a big marriage balloon that’s on the verge of popping.
Although I didn’t have a big wedding, I have had enough friends and family who did—plus I have cable—to know that there is a certain amount of “let down” after a wedding. You were proposed to and shared your excitement. You planned in excitement. You married. And then all that excitement goes where? Probably under the covers, but even that excitement shifts.
And now the 2012 excitement—where will that energy go?
Will we still learn to can vegetables, and be on our way to becoming urban farmers? Will doomsday preppers still be on television? What will happen to all the apocalyptic websites? How will this energy be transferred?
Or will we be in a 2013 let down, unsure of what our next step might be?
The fact is there are no answers to these questions. Well, maybe there are answers regarding television and the websites, but otherwise there are no hard and fast answers.
Yet we grasp for this idea of an answer in the end of the world. Maybe that’s why people have held on to the big idea of 2012 so tight—for a moment, the end gives us grounding in the unknowable.
Even when we sit in meditation or have “a-ha” moments, there is the element of not knowing. Our mind changes and answers shift, molding to our path. If we are paying attention, we will hopefully find a quiet answer.
Or as we get the mail, there is a spark of excitement in the small things, relieving any let down we have from not knowing.
Of course if the end of the world really does happen, then that’s the ultimate answer. But if that doesn’t happen, I will think about 2013—the number and the energy behind it—celebrating, rediscovering and moving forward.
Beth Weaver Culpepper spends most of her time surrounded by kids, books and yoga. Librarian by day, yoga teacher by night and mother of three divine daughters all the time, Beth enjoys connecting the dots in life.
Ed: Stephanie V.
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