Tis the Season: Do I Laugh or Cry?

It’s the holidays; I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

My family is on three different corners of the country but some of my husband’s is near-by. I miss mine but we talk on the phone. We are happy as any can be and thank God we’re all talking—not all families can say that.

It’s the holidays; I don’t have much money, in fact if you looked at the balance sheet I have less than I have because I owe more than I can pay. But it’s the holidays so I get some presents to give and am given a few.

It’s the holidays and my girlfriend wants me to sing—I want her to ice skate.

I’ll skate, she’ll sing and Christmas Eve we’ll share food and drink.

It’s the holidays; I give what I can, but I do that every day.

Every day I try to practice kindness and compassion is the blood in my veins. I get hurt often but that is because I am willing to reach into space to find a hand or friendly face and often I am met with more space.

It’s the holidays; I get two days off, in a row…now that is reason enough to celebrate.

It’s the holidays and I gave up on dieting for now. In fact, tonight I ate five truffles and loved four of them.

It’s the holidays and I bought all four cats a catnip toy. It’s more for my husband and I than for them.

It’s the holidays and I shopped and baked. I have taught and wrapped the few gifts I have. My students have shared with me all year long. I hope to share for another year or more, with each of them.

It’s the holidays; I write poems. I do yoga. I live to love and love to live. It’s the holidays and in my world that’s Christmas, turkey, friends and family, even if we are spread out.

It’s the holidays and the mall is packed; I was given three Starbuck’s cards.

It’s the holidays and I love all of it, the giving, the packages, the trying to juggle my account with what I want to give versus what I can give.

It’s the holidays and I give what I can, every day.

It’s the holidays and to me, that’s fun. But then, I am lucky because for many it is stress and loneliness and need stretched beyond what any heart can hold.

It’s the holidays and I want my heart to grow. I want my belly to shrink. I want to live another full year in celebration, as if every season were a reason to celebrate life. It’s the holidays and life always brings challenges.

So let’s accept each one, because we always have a choice, to stand up after we fall down and learn to walk, dance and sing or stay on the ground and mend a broken wing.

It’s the holidays.

Maybe, after all is said and done I’ll make my girlfriend happy, maybe Christmas Eve I will sing.