I first encountered the iridescently irreverent, colorfully creative, juicily joyous, wise, wild word-wrangling Courtney A. Walsh via the marvels of modern technology and the phenom of Facebook.
Her word mashups tickled my scripting sensibilities and it seemed as if we would sometimes be doing a vulcan mind meld since her ideas and mine merged symbiotically at times.
Courtney believes in slurping every last drop of juice from each day. She is the scribe for this original Facebook post that has gone viral and sometimes, sadly, without being attributed to her. It was also scooped up and quoted on her syndicated show by radio celeb Delilah. She describes herself in this way:
Courtney A. Walsh (aka CAW) is a Mental Wellness Author and Speaker and is also available for private consulting, for social media, for Lightworkers and small business owners. She shows you how to get a plan, how to get out there by going within so you can venture forth with conviction. Live the dream. Courtney self-published her memoir, “Lipstick and Thongs in the Loony Bin” and has been on a fantastic loony journey ever since. She has a growing international social media network, LoonyBus, of about 5,000 plus like minded Loonies who follow her inspirational, motivational and informational posts regularly. Her motto is: All Aboard the LoonyBus—You don’t have to be crazy—but it helps!
Here’s my interview with Courtney:
This is blow me out of the water brilliant! Can you share where the inspiration came from to write this?
Thanks so much! It has been a question I’ve been asked a lot since September and I have no clear or definitive response except that I know when I was little I could always feel the energy and intention of how languages or silences were used in communication. And this whole “unconditional love” craze thing started…well…bugging me. It felt to me like the words “sin, ego, attachment”…words that are often used in psychospiritual arguments or debates to shame or separate rather than to uplift, connect or inspire. So I wanted to reshape it a little. Shake it up. Give it some stink. Take it out of the lofty towers/pedestals of philosophical ideas and into the beating wet laboratory of the heart.
For so many, myself included, the smooth and easy road evades us and we find ourselves in the muck and mess and mire that seems oh so over the top dramatic. How can we keep from over indulging in drama and still keep it real?
Well…I suppose for me stopping labeling things in my life that showed up as negative or drama was a hugely healthy start in a different direction. I just started embracing stuff. All of it. Reaching to soothe and reassure myself rather than fight myself or life so much. I’m still a love warrior. But lately I seem to be trading in my sword for a pinwheel or bubble wand. I still fight ideas that feel limiting. But I do it with humor, compassion, subtle irony and love now. And I always offer an alternative reframe way to see/feel something.
What was the road you took to glean such wisdom?
Oh I love the word glean. I don’t know…maybe it’s a cliche at this point but it’s still truth too…the road inward, really. The road inward was and is my only salvation and liberation. I believe in a combo of self sovereignty (taking responsibility for everything that appears in my life…with zero exceptions)…as well as unity…the “We are all one” thing. It’s a new way of thinking and being. It’s not altruism or self sacrifice/martyrdom or ignoring the well-being of others out of selfishness or greed. But it does say: “You are not responsible for my happiness…I am. And no—we are not our brother’s keeper…but we are all each others’ family.”
How do you define love?
This is such a tough one for me, I admit. Because it’s an evolving definition in my own life. It’s so much easier to say what I’ve learned love isn’t. And I will always be remembering what it truly is. I know for me…it isn’t obligation. It isn’t codependency. It isn’t self sacrifice. It is an expanded state of awareness and being. And yet it’s also deeply personal and intimate. It’s vulnerable. It’s authentic. It’s juicycrackling and alive. I know I feel loved when I feel deeply appreciated or seen for something meaningful to me like my writing, my intuitive counseling work or my shoes. Kidding. I could kinda care less about shoes. A “Sex in the City” character I am not. But I know love isn’t solely attached to achievement either. That’s just another limitation…to think we all need to be these performing seals to be worthy of attention or affection. Silly.
If I had to pick something that I’d like to link to the evolving definition of love it would be both clarity and presence. Those are incredibly loving/nurturing qualities to me. Love is both fierce and gentle and so many things in between. It will take the rest of my life to really unweave and reweave a true definition. My life is the definition. Every breathblinkbeat is an experiment in loving more deeply and more authentically.
What did you learn about love throughout your life?
I learned it starts and ends in the mirror. Not in some crazyegoic or narcissistic way. But in a tender, raw and real way. If I don’t love the chick staring back at me with all her zits and wrinkles and sadwisekindfearfulfunny eyes then how can ever really I love anyone else? That makes me tearyhappy to type that because it’s so true. So powerful and so true for me. And—I am now ready to share that love with a man who is also clear on who he is and what he wants. Who sees life and love as the greatest adventures of all. Who is bold, romantic, action-oriented, sensual and unafraid to step up to the plate and take a crack at this whole new way of loving, communicating, committing, co-creating and relating. Who embraces change and can really show up in so many ways. Annnnnd humor.
If you can make me laugh or we can laugh together until we lose our breath or bladder control—I love you. Maybe that’s conditional. I don’t care. Humor is key. And it has to be the right kind of humor. Not meanspirited, overly snarky or cruel…a little bit goofy, a bit smart. I love a quickwitted and handsy man. I love touching and to be touched. Passion and peace. Cherished more than challenged. Someone who looks at you like they know they are lucky to just be near you. Equal parts lust and trust. That’s love to me. Or…at the very least… it’s a damned good start.
Ideas for loving those who seem harder to accept, who push our buttons and whose buttons we push, whose values seem diametrically opposed to ours?
Ahhh mirror, mirror…I usually affectionately mock them. It’s a juvenile defense I know. I also often disconnect and move in a completely other direction. Seven billion people on the planet why spend time or energy on those who don’t get you or appreciate you? Go where you are celebrated not tolerated, right? I love that. And uninstall the buttons and triggers within by saying silly things to yourself like: “I don’t have to buy into that dipsh*ttery.”
This “enough” stuff….how can we remind ourselves that who we are is enough even while stretching and growing in all of our relationships?
By remembering that we can’t ever “get it wrong or get it done” as Abe Hicks says. We are all evolving deeper, losing masks daily, speaking our truth more in whisperings and in thunderings. By realizing our true power is in honoring our emotional/intuitive awareness and in being full spectrum beings. Show up and get out of the way. Put that on a bumper sticker. Hehe. I always say…My halo has horns and I like it that way. Another one is: When I lost my mind I found my heart. These aren’t just catchykitschy little sayings for me. They are a way of life, really.
I know that this poem just got some radio-luv. Can you tell us about that?
Yeah that was cool. Delilah from the radio posted it on her page and it got something like 3,000 plus shares just to start. I’ve also seen people who’ve made graphics of the quote without crediting me as author which really bummed me out at first. I am an artist and I think honoring artists even in the fast and furious era of social media is just a sign of basic decency, respect and courtesy. So many people from all over the world have written me and asked “Hey did you write this?”
It’s a mixed blessing. Glad it’s circulating…And I have amazing friends who when they see it pop up here and there will say: “Hey, my friend Courtney A. Walsh wrote this; subscribe to her posts!” That always gives me the warmfuzzies. Because yes…it came through me…and it isn’t totally mine. But I was there for the co-creation. It’s kinda my kid in a way. I know it’s not the same thing to have wordbabies and quotekids but that’s how it feels. Not attachment or ownership or even pride as much as eagerness and excitement like when your kid is in a recital and you get all puffed up, happy and proud and go: “That’s my kid!” lol.
You can visit Courtney’s website at www.squeezingthestars.com.
Like elephant culture on facebook.
Ed: Lynn Hasselberger
hot on elephant
Instead of Sabotaging another Relationship, here’s how to Run into your Fear. Join: Elephant’s Fall 2016 Academy. The Ones who have been Badly Hurt Love the Hardest. The Sadist—the Darkest Personality Disorder. What every Empath must Know before they Date. These Kinds of Friendships aren’t Meant to Last Forever. To Have our Needs Met—Without Apology. What we’re Actually Searching for when we Run Away.