Today I’m going to tell you why you should give up hope.
Much of my life I have strived for my goals with an attitude of hope. When I was a teenager, I hoped that my car would make it to the concert. In my early twenties, I hoped I’d pull together enough cash to make my rent. In my mid-twenties, I hoped that my man would ask me to marry him and my business would take off.
I remember setting financial goals for my spa and feeling so anxious about whether or not we would reach them. Then, as each deadline drew closer and closer, I would hope more and more, with growing apprehension that the money would come in. I didn’t see how it could happen, I had little faith, but I sure hoped that I would open the books and see that number that I had set as my goal.
Despite all the hope involved, the underlying emotion was actually doubt.
Hope implies that there is considerable uncertainty about how things will turn out. This is a hindrance to actually achieving the goal.
If you want something, quit hoping. Make it non-negotiable.
I hear a lot of people speak of their dreams with an attitude of, “Well…if it’s meant to be then maybe it’ll happen,” as if it’s out of their hands. Unless they’re talking about wanting their unborn child to be a girl, I call this bullsh*t.
If you feel that the actualization of your dreams isn’t up to you, I’d recommend taking a hard look at your beliefs.
You may not get that particular guy or that particular house or that particular job, but the experiences that these objects represent for you—love, happiness, abundance, purpose, self-worth—are most definitely available to all of us.
As soon as you get this, you will have no need for hope.
If you want your life to go a certain way, perhaps you should get out of the passenger seat and start planning for things to work out precisely as you want them to.
It’s not out of your hands.
Have you ever heard the expression “Hope for the best, plan for the worst”? Ugh. How about “Plan for the best. Period.” Fully expect that things are going to happen just as you want them to, and arrange your life and your plans to reflect that. If you are overweight, buy a pair of hot jeans a size smaller than you currently wear. If you hope to someday fit in them, you’ll feel bad that you’re too big for them right now. If you expect to fit in them, you’ll feel excited about your inevitable progress (and hotness).
You don’t have to plan for the possibility that things don’t work out. If your results aren’t what you were expecting, you’ll manage at the time. Don’t wait to see if you’re “lucky.” Instead, construct your reality to command the results you want.
For me, this often means getting other people involved. When I have social accountability—someone counting on me to do what I say I’m going to do—I’m damn sure that I am going to make it happen. I also tell people the quality of life I’m choosing and the goals I anticipate achieving. That way, we can expect together.
Although I don’t recommend getting other people’s lives intertwined with your goals until you really trust yourself, I do recommend getting other people involved at some level. (You can work up to complete entanglement.)
So, now it’s time for you to put these ideas into action. In the comments below share with us what goals you are going to make non-negotiable.
> How are you are going to plan for this to be your new reality?
> How might you conduct yourself differently to demonstrate your conviction that your life is already becoming the life you have dreamed of?
Then start expressing gratitude now for the gifts that are imminent.
Briana Borten is a peace engineer and entrepreneur that works with people to decrease their pain, increase their relaxation, optimize their health and get exactly what they want out of their lives. She’s on a mission to create a more peaceful world through more peaceful individuals! Find out more about Briana at Brianaborten.com.
Like on elephant Spirituality on Facebook.
Assistant Ed: Terri Tremblett
Ed: Kate Bartolotta
hot on elephant
Elephant Journal’s Holiday Gift Guide 636 shares A letter to the Anger that refuses to Leave Me. 571 shares Waylon’s favorite Ethical Gifts. 13 shares Join: Elephant’s Winter 2017 Academy. 28 shares Trevor Noah just won my Respect. 2,560 shares Year of the Fire Rooster 2017: What to Expect. 926 shares December Forecast: Letting Go of 2016 & Leaning into 2017 with Love. 7,183 shares The Real Reason so many Long-term Relationships Fail Sexually. 737 shares Why a Year of No Dating was the Best Thing I ever did for Myself. 6,319 shares These Tweets (and Retweets) actually Happened. 1,387 share