Top 10 Ways to Piss Off Waylon Lewis.

Via on Feb 13, 2013

 

waylon lewis shorty shorts

Following a recent rant by our Fearless Editor and Big Dog Buddhist, I thought it might be a great time to post what pisses off Waylon Lewis the most in journalism.

I happen to be an expert, because over the past year I have pissed him off probably as much as every other writer for Elephant. In fact, for a Buddhist, he seems to be pissed off quite a bit of the time. Note to Waylon, maybe you should let some of this shit go?

Meanwhile, on to the list, backwards in the style of Letterman:

10. Crap writing. He dislikes the use of “just, really, um, wow” and any other superlative adjective you can think of. Um, wow, I think he really just hates ending a sentence in a preposition too. Totally.

9. Sex. Wait, Waylon is fine with sex. In fact, for a Buddhist he’s down with sex (or, should I say ‘up’?). But he’s done with pandering to the reader who only wants to read about sex and not about issues like gun control. Note to Waylon: There is a picture of a vagina on your front page.

8. Materialism. Waylon thinks his readership is 75 percent anti-materialistic, so stop writing about what to wear to a yoga conference. Really? I think you might be projecting, super Buddhist man. After all, you live in America, dude.

7. Happy quotes. Actually, these don’t piss him off. But he’d like to see more truth, justice and reality along with, “Between the field of right and wrong, you can meet me there.” The same goes for kittens, although I do like the video of the kitten doing yoga.

6. Self-promotion. This really gets his goat. There is absolutely no self-promotion allowed on elephant. By the way, is there anyone left, or left in America, who does not know Waylon Lewis?

5. “Stirring your drama cauldron and drinking your own flatulence.” You know, I can’t make this stuff up. He actually ranted that he is over drinking our own flatulence. Where is an editor when you need one? It’s a gas, dude, not a liquid (but I guess that depends on what you’ve been eating.).

4. He wants more articles on bicycling. That and art, adventure, eco-responsibility, travel, tiger farms, blah blah blah. We love you, Waylon. Keep on fighting the good fight.

3. Anusara. Anusara. Anusara. Having written most of the articles, I’m sick of it too. In fact, find me a yoga school that hasn’t had a scandal.

2. Over-earnest, uber-sincere yogis who can’t take a joke or a little self-reflection. Actually, this doesn’t piss off Waylon. It pisses me off! But he has taught me to wave my arms in the air and say, “joking,” when I am kidding around so nobody gets offended. In this column, I am “Joking!” (arms waving in air).

1. And the number one thing that pisses him off: Top 10 lists. In the words of Waylon: “F@%k top 10 lists.” Okay, but don’t stop posting them until after you click on this.

 

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Ed: Kate Bartolotta

 

About Michelle Marchildon

Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She’s an award-winning journalist, and the author of Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga. Her second book, Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga, is for yoga teachers who want to inspire their students. Michelle is a columnist for elephant journal and Origin Magazine and a contributor to Teachasana, My Yoga Online and Yoga Journal. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches in Denver, Co where she is busy raising two boys, two dogs and one husband. You can follow her on Facebook at Michelle Marchildon, The Yogi Muse. You can find her blog and website at www.YogiMuse.com. And you can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.

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10 Responses to “Top 10 Ways to Piss Off Waylon Lewis.”

  1. elephantjournal says:

    Brilliant. A few corrections, however.

    1. I'm down with shameless self-promotion. In fact, I won an award for it from Denver's Westword. I've won a ton of other awards, nationally, did I mention? What irks me is the all-too-common new-agey or yogic, money-motivated self-promotion-in-the-guise of "being spiritual." Just make like Colbert, friends, and promote your self—after all, hopefully your promoting your service, which is of benefit to others—with a sense of self-aware humor.

    2. You never piss me off. You have a sense of humor about yourself, which is insulation against my editor's gag reflex.

    3. I don't mind colloquial writing—I love it. Read Huck Finn, or reread it hopefully, to see how amazing it can be. Or Hemingway, or Fitzgerald, or Kerouac, or Alice Walker. I don't love lazy writing. I don't love ALL CAPS for emphasis, or LOLs.

    4. I don't mind top 10 lists, if the content is solid. They're accessible, and elephant and all good journalism has to, at its best, be both accessible and quality, not just one or the other.

    5. I didn't mind the Anusara coverage, generally—it was an important and difficult issue and question for the yoga community at large, and Anusara practitioners particularly. I did mind the put-him-on-a-pedestal then tear-him-down theistic mentality—too much objectifying love followed by too much objectifying hate. Can we learn from this teaching moment? Can we learn from the difficult, painful, confusing lessons in our life? As Buddhists say, our enemies, or difficult situations, are our greatest teachers.

    6. I dislike materialism, yes. I reallly dislike spiritual materialism, and elephant can be full of it. It doesn't work. It doesn't make us happy. We need things, certain things, quality things sourced from mindful employment and "eco-responsibly" made, hopefully. I have a house. I have a bike. I have a coat. We all need things. We don't need more than we need, that's all. In terms of spiritual materialism, we don't make ourselves happy by clinging to happiness and pushing away pain. That's gated community spirituality. We don't make ourselves happy by sharing Rumi quotes on our smartphone while driving. We make ourselves happy by following our bliss, doing something we love that's useful to others.

    7. Thanks for this loving, yet critical list. It's fun and helpful. I do care about elephant–we're big enough that we need to care, care, care—not let go in this context, as you suggest—but care all the more deeply (with a sense of humor, which is kinda like letting go). We're big enough that if we turn into what we're fighting—a site full of trite, superficial, drama-ful first world problems and indulgence and self-regard—all my 10 years of work will have turned to poison. I'm not down with that, and I know you aren't, you sweet fun snarky brave and amazing writer, you.

    Yours in Service is the Ultimate Smile,

    Waylon

    6.

  2. Nichole says:

    Ballsy!
    Nice.
    Both of your rants, as well as this response, are brilliant.
    Humor is underrated and not expressed enough.
    Must work on that, myself!
    cheers!

  3. Michelle Marchildon says:

    I'm taking this that you put me in a column with Stephen Colbert. Made my day.

  4. Jenny says:

    BRILLIANT, Michelle! And by the way, Waylon, when it comes to my own flatulence, I don't inhale.

  5. Amy says:

    Michelle, this is my favorite piece of yours yet. Thank you!

  6. Megan says:

    It's never all just materialism it's the motive behind any one thing that is important.
    What may be true bliss, not lost in a land of endless needs, for one may look like materialism to another.
    I love beauty and beautiful things and I am also not fond of materialism nor do I "need" any one thing
    it depends where it comes from.
    Counting how many coats or houses we have is not seeing through the eyes of anything but our
    won perceptions and projections and judgements.

  7. Chuck says:

    I can't believe I read this article. I should find better things to do with my time than read articles about what other people think Waylon thinks.

  8. Jennifer S. White Jennifer White says:

    I love this article and I love Waylon's comments. What a light-hearted spin on a serious subject (the future of elephant).

  9. Michelle Marchildon says:

    Well, I am the light hearted yogi. I’ve tried it the other way, And my way is better.

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