A female Penthouse editor sees men a bit differently than most women. Here’s how:
1. The majority of men, when looking at a woman’s body, assess attractiveness or appeal with 80 percent less judgment than women do. They look to see, and they also just look. (Percentage estimation my own.)
2. Most men don’t want a girlfriend with inner thighs as tight as bridge supports.
3. A man won’t notice or care that you’re wearing a couture skirt or carrying a fashionable handbag if you smile with your eyes as he approaches.
4. Ladies: don’t confuse drama with affection; learn to relax.
5. Don’t judge the content of a man’s character solely by the clothes he wears, and don’t get angry if he judges you on the length of your skirt; men determine what you’re looking for in direct proportion to how much skin you’re showing.
6. Women are more unforgiving than men when it comes to judging other women—no matter how dirty or sexist their jokes.
7. When men look at naked women they’re not thinking of you, or comparing your body to hers. Men just enjoy looking at women’s bodies because they are beautiful; not because they want to have sex with them…but a lot of the time they wouldn’t mind.
8. Ladies: shut up about your weight. Seriously. If you’re unhappy with your body, do something about it, don’t project your unhappiness onto your partner; it’s not his problem that you’re unsatisfied with your body, it’s yours.
9. Despite what you may think, strippers are rarely prostitutes; they’re just women who are comfortable in their skin. With strippers, men are free to admire a woman’s body without guilt—plus, strippers flirt without strings, which makes men feel attractive, and we all need our ego stroked occasionally.
10. You have $1500 shoes and men have sports and XBOX; there is yin and there is yang. And plenty of room for both.
11. Accept that your priorities will differ. More importantly, that your way of doing things is not necessarily the “right” way. Be open to compromise. Or split the cost of a cleaner.
12. Don’t call him when he’s out on a boy’s night; he needs time to let loose and to be a man in the company of other men. He’s not cheating on you…so don’t make him want to.
13. It’s great to talk, but tell him exactly what you need and why; don’t talk in circles and expect him to read between the lines. Men hate mind-reading games.
14. Don’t employ “the silent treatment” to communicate your anger. He knows you’re more evolved than that (at least he thinks so). Respect your partner (and yourself) by communicating clearly and with honesty. You’ll both be better for it.
15. Think about what turns you on and let him know what that is.
16. Take care to keep money in its place. Allowing money to become the focus of your relationship—yours, his or ‘ours’ —will crush love. Perspective is king.
17. Sometimes, letting go and being irresponsible (messy, forgetful, unwashed) for a weekend is enough to save a man’s sanity. Allow him some rope to play with.
18. Just one time, ask him what he would change about you, and listen to what he says (as your best friend and confidant, he knows what you need to work on). Be brave enough to embrace that honesty.
19. Be confident in yourself. He loves you, so why not allow that validation and support to be enough? It will make him proud.
20. Try something new together. It might be terrible but it’s a shared experience and these form the glue that keep you together.
(This article first appeared at Good Men Project.)
About Suzan Ryan
Suzan Ryan is a fan of noir, single malt scotch and clever conversation. She lives in Sydney, Australia, and is the Editor of Australian Penthouse magazine.