Love—the Ultimate Rebellion.

Via on Mar 31, 2013

 

 

With a heart washed fresh by tears,

I turn to gaze as love creeps in—

A returning tide,

Swirling ’round my feet,

Lifting me high.

With no time to hide,

I half laugh, half cry,

And surrender again

To that wonder of life.

Sometimes when we give up being so insistent on love coming through a particular channel and we turn around, we realize we have backed ourselves into a corner—closing off the infinite channels through which love might have found us by our insistence that it reach us in only one way.

Love has no respect for the social and mental constructs that we try to build for her, or for ourselves—for walls that try to restrain or contain her. And, if we’re open to the possibility, that Great Mystery, which is life, will always find a way of rekindling the flame in our heart, of finding a way to bring us back into contact with love.

It’s up to us then to bow our heads in humility and allow ourselves to be laid bare by her warmth, wondering at her magnificence. It’s up to us to allow her to work her magic of breaking down our resistances, unrestricted by human fears that try to shape her to our liking. Are we brave enough to allow her in when she comes knocking, or will we continue to push her away because we fear the consequences of letting love rule?

I wrote the lines above a few years ago after struggling with an intense love that flared up quite unexpectedly. At first I fought it, trying to explain it away logically, looking for reasons why it couldn’t be love. Then I surrendered. And with that surrender a feeling of grace swept through my life.

I wasn’t looking to leave my longterm relationship, although all wasn’t rosy. Nor was I really all that interested in an affair—I had enough going on in my little world at the time—but I was definitely needing to feel that radiant warmth of love again. And it had found me, through the intense eyes of a friend I had barely noticed in that way before. My choice was to acknowledge or reject it, and I chose to acknowledge it.

The intensity of it lasted perhaps a few months, but it was enough to re-tune my sinking vibration to a higher frequency again. It reminded me of the gift that love is, no matter how unexpected, or even unwelcome, it may seem at times. It also showed me how easy it is for us to block love by our assumptions that we can only love particular people, or types of people, or at particular times, or life stages. And how easy it is for us to try to restrict love to certain channels—marriage, social groups, one gender.

What if we committed to being open to love in whatever way she shows up? What if we allowed ourselves, and others, to love where and when and how we are prompted to? Would that be the ultimate rebellion or the ultimate surrender? Or both? What mental and emotional adjustments would it require of us to give ourselves permission to love freely and to permit our loved ones the same gift? How might that feel?

When I began to allow myself to live that way—accepting love when it appeared, either through myself or through another—all the small and large blocks that I’d built to that energy showed themselves. Questions arose around marriage and commitment. Could loving many and committing to one co-exist? Did I need to change my commitment to my longterm partner? Would he reject me? Questions arose around how far I would express my love to others. Did it feel right to tell another how I felt about them or did I  keep it to myself? And if they shared the feeling, how far did we go in expressing it to each other? Did love always mean sex?

Ultimately, it has been a balancing act and I’ve realized love will flow as much as the channel is willing to open.   I’ve been finding out where my boundaries are at the moment, and have been gently nudging them further out without beating myself up over areas where I still hold back. I’ve also been finding out where the boundaries of those around me are, and have been gently nudging those when it seems right to do so.

It’s not that we’re either open or closed to love. It’s more a question of degree. And the degree also depends to some extent on context. Somehow it seems much easier to be open when single than when in a long term relationship that involves children.

When we’re afraid of losing something, we also close down to love. ‘No thank you, I don’t want any more love in case I lose what I have.‘ It seems ridiculous when expressed so simply, but that’s often what  lies under our reluctance to admit more love into our lives.

The one constant for me along this fascinating journey, though, has been noticing how consistently love shows up. When I’m feeling the lack of it in one area, it pops up in another. And even when there doesn’t seem to be a lover at close quarters with whom I can share with, the vibration of love is always there to be tuned into through the quiet moments in my life and in meditation.

I’ve been learning to let love rule, and it has become the quiet rebellion of my life.

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Ed: Brianna Bemel
Source: theoilpaintingsaless.com via Lezlie on Pinterest

About Freya Watson

~~~~ Freya's will be visiting the USA in AUTUMN 2014 and will be hosting author evenings in the DENVER and SALT LAKE CITY areas. If you are interested in attending or would like more details, please contact her directly or stay in touch via Facebook ~~~~ How does a deeply spiritual, open-hearted, earthily sexy woman live in modern world that values the material, guarded and polished? As a respected author and teacher, how we ground our heart-felt truths into the everyday experience of relationships, work and family is the foundation for a lot of what I write about. Finding our 'truth' is a challenge in itself, but living it day to day is an even bigger challenge. My books are all available on Amazon and my new volume of poetry, 'Sacred Poems from a Wild Heart', is due out on 25th August 2014. You can also find me on Facebook and read more on my blog. If you like what I write, you can subscribe to my Elephant Journal Feed here .

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10 Responses to “Love—the Ultimate Rebellion.”

  1. @Kokitsuneko says:

    Pure love doesn't involve sex nor romance nor even kissing. It involves a deep and powerful friendship– a friendship/relationship that doesn't need sex nor even cuddling. It doesn't have to involve anything like that. It involves trust, honesty, communication, and understanding. It is on both parties and they are intimate with each other to the point of overcoming each others' fears and oddities. Love is present in friendships, between mother and child, between man and wife. Love may be present in sex but sex doesn't mean love. That's different. Sometimes we think love is produced when we feel attraction to someone else, but that feeling may fool you. Love sometimes challenges us to see just how much we really love a person, like a partner– someone who may be a marriage partner, someone you may be involved with deeply (and also sexually)– but even love doesn't have to make us attracted to two people at the same time, it may just mean that you may meet someone else who you may love as a friend, someone who you can have a special deep and personal bond with too.

    Love is present everywhere and in everyone. It just comes out at different times.

  2. Freya!! This is so huge: What if we committed to being open to love in whatever way she shows up? What if we allowed ourselves, and others, to love where and when and how we are prompted to?

    Yes. Big time. Thanks for sending the St. Brigid pics and I WILL come pay a visit the next time I'm near Kildare.

  3. Freya Watson Freya Watson says:

    Hi Kate, yeah, it's so simple but we only realise how huge it is when we start to put it into practice! x

  4. Rosanne says:

    Beautiful piece, leaves me with many things to ponder. Love is confusing me at the moment, being open to it is challenging…

    • Freya Watson Freya Watson says:

      Hi Rosanne. It has challenged me hugely in the past and continues to do so! But I've become more comfortable with the challenges, if that's possible. It takes a degree of focus and commitment to keep coming back to the simplicity of it and to not be distracted by all the social constraints we are so used to around it. Keep heart. x

  5. juliagarfield says:

    I love this piece, thank you. And I'm trying to figure out if and how it can be applied to learning to let go of a romantic partnership that consistently hurts and doesn't quite work, amidst the love… I know, loving myself and acting out of that comes in to. Any thoughts you have are interesting. I'm really enjoying your writing. :)

  6. Amy says:

    I needed to read this. Beautiful!

  7. Samantha says:

    I want to hear more – did you talk with your partner? What was his response? What were the boundaries you mentioned coming up against yours and others?

  8. Ellie says:

    Beautiful! And I can totally relate. Love comes in so many forms we cannot possibly imagine. Never black and white. As gibran says: when love beckons to you, you must follow, though the road may be hard and steep…

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