Why Your Ex Is Getting Over You Faster.

Via on Mar 28, 2013

Time and time again, my private clients, readers and loyal fans ask me this same question: Why do men seem to get over a breakup faster than women?

I find this one of the most interesting topics surrounding breaking up…one that needs much more light shed on it to fully understand why.

This is a question that I am particularly capable of answering—why?

Because I got over my ex the way a man moves on from a woman.

No, I didn’t run off to a strip joint.

No, I didn’t go out every night with my friends and get wasted at the local bar. And no, I didn’t jump into the arms of the next hottie that winked in my direction just to have a warm body next to me in my very empty bed.

I know that you are thinking your ex must be doing these things, and that this must by why it seems like he’s getting over you faster than you are getting over him, but this just isn’t the case.

He may very well be doing these things, but I can promise you it’s not the reason why he’s getting over you faster than you are getting over him.

Before I tell you why your ex (or any man) gets over you (or any woman) faster than you can get over him, I want to preface this by saying it’s something that comes more naturally to them than to us.

But just because it comes more naturally to them, doesn’t mean that you can’t do the same thing.

Once you learn what he’s doing to get over you faster, you can actually do it better. 


Because once you learn what to do, you’ll actually be conscious of what you’re doing to get over him just as fast and you’ll implement his process with an absolutely clear, powerful intention.

And with that kind of intention (instead of just doing something because it’s second nature and therefore many times unconsciously) you’ll be activating the powerful Law of Intention.

The Law of Intention states that our intentions are actually more powerful than our hopes, wishes and wants. When we state an intention, gather our energies, and keep our target in our sites, the universe will back our intentions.

Therefore, when practiced, the Law of Intention is the basis of all manifestations.

So, back to getting over a breakup and why it seems easier for men than it does for women…

Your ex is a man (I’m assuming). Men are naturally made up of more masculine energy than women, although women can develop just as much depending on their life’s circumstances.

Masculine energy is rooted in strength. It’s the goal oriented, focused energy that creates independence, self-confidence and accomplishment. It’s the energy behind drive, goal setting and not giving up until you’ve ‘won.’

Let’s look at an example:

When a man decides to get in shape, he might quite literally get out a notebook, separate the page into seven columns and track each workout throughout the week.

If you have plans with him, he’ll make sure to squeeze in a workout before your date. If you ask him to do something earlier that interferes with his workout, he may very well say no.

He’s taking care of himself then. And he’s not going to let you (or anything else) interfere. He’s focused, determined, and driven to succeed at his goal. His mind is made up…Period. End of story.

What you need to understand here is that a man does the same thing when be breaks up with a woman (or is broken up with by her). And by nature, the only thing he knows how to do (because he’s being run mostly by masculine energy) is to get over it as if it’s a new goal on his list.

So, enter masculine energy at its best…bringing a man’s strength, determination and drive to get over you as fast and humanly possible. It’s just how he’s wired, my dear.

Your ex isn’t getting over you faster because he didn’t love you, doesn’t still care, or because your relationship was a ‘fake.’

He’s getting over you faster because it comes as second nature to him.

This doesn’t mean that you, too, can’t get over your ex with this kind of sheer determination. But for you (as with most women), it’s going to take setting an intention to mend your broken heart  as if your life depends on it.

It’s going to take you setting an intention to get over him with all the strength, self-respect, and energy you have left inside that beautiful body of yours.

You literally have to put yourself on a mission to heal your broken heart. And just like accomplishing any mission in life, it’s going to take focus, time and discipline.

You’ll be amazed at how quickly you start to feel better…how quickly you begin to feel energized, refreshed and renewed.

This is how success feels. It will come from cultivating your masculine energy and focusing on healing above anything else. Once you’ve done this…once you’ve begun to heal…you’ll be well on your way to starting your life over, too.

Just like you’re watching your ex do right before your eyes.

So, have you set your intention to heal? What it is? Have you set set your intention and declared to the universe that you’re not only ready to heal, but that you intend to heal with every ounce of your being?

Write it down. Create an intention statement. Here’s an example:

“I declare my heart’s independence and support myself fully and completely to heal every ounce of my being!”

And remember, once you set this intention…the intention to end your pain and suffering and love yourself enough to help yourself heal…the universe will start to back your intention and begin to help manifest the strength, courage and faith that you need to continue walking your path of recovery.

The universe really is on your side—but only if you allow it to be!


Like elephant love on Facebook.


Ed: Bryonie Wise & Brianna Bemel

(Source: the-b-train.tumblr.com via Michele on Pinterest)

About Ellen Smoak

Ellen Smoak is the internationally acclaimed Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author of "Breakups Are A Bitch, But Getting Over Him Doesn’t Have To Be!". A professional dating and relationship coach by day and fun-loving dating diva by night, Ellen offers love advice and coaching for thousands of men and women around the world on her website and through her proven coaching programs. After surviving a breakup with her ex-fiance of 5 years, Ellen realized that her sense of self-worth and self-love were suffering. She promptly developed a plan to mend a broken heart and heal herself from the inside out, which she turned into a revolutionary downloadable system. To get Ellen's free video series "How to Beat Your Broken Heart BEFORE it Beats YOU" click here.


Like this article? Leave a tip!

(We use PayPal but you don't need an account with PayPal.)

Elephriends - Mindful Affiliates

7 Responses to “Why Your Ex Is Getting Over You Faster.”

  1. keelyellenmarie says:

    Ugh, yay gender stereotypes. None of the four men I have dated have anything remotely like the coping style you describe… in fact, the guys in my relationships were the people who couldn't move on.

    • crimsunkg says:

      While I concur that there seems to be non-trivial stereotyping, what we readers could substitute is the general self. Surely we embody some degree of resilience; then the takeaway is that we should take care of ourselves with all the love and compassion sometimes reserved for others.

  2. Diane D'Angelo says:

    I much prefer Susan Piver's book, "The Wisdom of a Broken Heart."

  3. Yogi says:

    Thought provoking and interesting, even though there were too many grammatical errors! Just sayin.

  4. Muks says:

    I had expected an insightful article about comparing our insides to other people's outsides. I am not sure where I read it but my understanding is that men take longer on average than women to get over a breakup. Still I have the impression that men get quickly over me while crying oh so long for some other chic.

    By the way, I am much more of a planner than my boyfriend. Therefore he is more spontaneous. I don't think these traits of character have anything to do with gender.

    Thanks anyway to put your thoughts out there.

  5. Alain says:

    You just copied a person else’s tale

  6. Lyn says:

    This is great – EXaholics.com is another good resource.

Leave a Reply